When I was a child I used to hear my grandparents say 'she lost her husband'. One day I piped up, 'Why didn't she go and look for him in Woolworths'. That's where Mummy lost me.' Everybody thought that was very funny.
But years later in France I really did lose my husband - except I didn't know he was lost. We were in a wine cellar of one of the big wine sellers, probably Moet & Chandon, following the guide through umpteen underground cool corridors, taking photos.
The guide told us, "These tunnels, they go for miles, to the next tunnels of the next winery, tunnels we don't use, don't even know about, for miles!"
Eventually, from overuse, my husband's flash battery died. He stopped to change it.
I was busy writing notes for a prospective travel article. (I was a keen freelance travel writer). So I was rushing to keep up with the guide at the front. The talk was either English with a French accent, or French and English, or French - which we would have taken to save time and not wait for the next English tour.
We reached a corner and the guide paused while we caught up. Then he asked, "Quelqun n'est pas ici? Non? Vous traduire madame. Is a knee body me sing?" I turned to explain to my husband. He was not near so, I walked to the back.
Panic! I gasped, "My husband's not here. Mon mari n'est pas ici?"
"Le monsieur anglais?"
The French started muttering and telling each other. "C'est le monsieur anglais! Perdu. Ooo la la. Mon dieu!"
The guide shouted. "Silence! Ecoutez! You listen!'
We listened.
We heard feet running one way. Somebody running to the right.
Then a few steps the other way, to the left.
"Il est perdu. Il cherche. Ee is lost. Ee look for us."
The footsteps ran back. They stopped! Was he dead?
The guide instructed us, "Alors. Attendez. You wait 'ere. Pardon. Je doit allez avec ma lumiere. I muss take theese light. Ne bouger pas. Personne! Do not move - nobody!"
We waited in complete darkness.
The darkness seemed to get even darker. What if there was a hole, or something dreadful. What if the guide got lost? And never came back? We could not find our way out. We would get lost trying. It would be an hour before they realised we were missing. At least an hour.
We heard voices. The flashlight. Guide and my husband. 'Thank god! (I'm an atheist. But one thanks God. Habit.)
"What happened? Where were you?" I asked.
"You all turned the corner. So I followed. You turned the next corner. I could hear you. I wasn't sure whether you had turned right or left. I went that way. But my light had gone so I had to stop."
After that I needed a drink. But I didn't care whether it was champagne or water. I was just glad to be up in the light.
I heartily recommend the Champagne cellar tours. But take your own torch, spare batteries, a mobile phone with a light, a key ring with a light, a chocolate bar, water, a pen and pencil and paper, walking shoes, warm clothing, luminous clothing. And stay with the guide!
http://www.reims-tourism.com/reims-champagne/champagne/the-champagne-houses/foliot/1.aspx
Information on champagne producers including Veuve Cliquot, Taittinger and several more.
http://www.champagne-ardenne-tourism.co.uk/champagne/vignoble-caves-en-ville-epernay.aspx
Links to Moet et Chandon, Mercier and more.
But years later in France I really did lose my husband - except I didn't know he was lost. We were in a wine cellar of one of the big wine sellers, probably Moet & Chandon, following the guide through umpteen underground cool corridors, taking photos.
The guide told us, "These tunnels, they go for miles, to the next tunnels of the next winery, tunnels we don't use, don't even know about, for miles!"
Eventually, from overuse, my husband's flash battery died. He stopped to change it.
I was busy writing notes for a prospective travel article. (I was a keen freelance travel writer). So I was rushing to keep up with the guide at the front. The talk was either English with a French accent, or French and English, or French - which we would have taken to save time and not wait for the next English tour.
We reached a corner and the guide paused while we caught up. Then he asked, "Quelqun n'est pas ici? Non? Vous traduire madame. Is a knee body me sing?" I turned to explain to my husband. He was not near so, I walked to the back.
Panic! I gasped, "My husband's not here. Mon mari n'est pas ici?"
"Le monsieur anglais?"
The French started muttering and telling each other. "C'est le monsieur anglais! Perdu. Ooo la la. Mon dieu!"
The guide shouted. "Silence! Ecoutez! You listen!'
We listened.
We heard feet running one way. Somebody running to the right.
Then a few steps the other way, to the left.
"Il est perdu. Il cherche. Ee is lost. Ee look for us."
The footsteps ran back. They stopped! Was he dead?
The guide instructed us, "Alors. Attendez. You wait 'ere. Pardon. Je doit allez avec ma lumiere. I muss take theese light. Ne bouger pas. Personne! Do not move - nobody!"
We waited in complete darkness.
The darkness seemed to get even darker. What if there was a hole, or something dreadful. What if the guide got lost? And never came back? We could not find our way out. We would get lost trying. It would be an hour before they realised we were missing. At least an hour.
We heard voices. The flashlight. Guide and my husband. 'Thank god! (I'm an atheist. But one thanks God. Habit.)
"What happened? Where were you?" I asked.
"You all turned the corner. So I followed. You turned the next corner. I could hear you. I wasn't sure whether you had turned right or left. I went that way. But my light had gone so I had to stop."
After that I needed a drink. But I didn't care whether it was champagne or water. I was just glad to be up in the light.
I heartily recommend the Champagne cellar tours. But take your own torch, spare batteries, a mobile phone with a light, a key ring with a light, a chocolate bar, water, a pen and pencil and paper, walking shoes, warm clothing, luminous clothing. And stay with the guide!
http://www.reims-tourism.com/reims-champagne/champagne/the-champagne-houses/foliot/1.aspx
Information on champagne producers including Veuve Cliquot, Taittinger and several more.
http://www.champagne-ardenne-tourism.co.uk/champagne/vignoble-caves-en-ville-epernay.aspx
Links to Moet et Chandon, Mercier and more.
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