Hecklers - welcomed?

Problem
You are invited to give a comic speech or performance and you get hecklers. What do you do?
How do you respond to hecklers?

Answers
1 Do not get angry. Do not walk off stage nor threaten to do so. Remain good humoured. Be prepared. If you can't think of an answer, you could try silence.
'It's lovely to have such an involved audience.'
'I'm glad to know you care. Not about me, but about somebody.'
'The feeling is mutual.'
'He means well.'
'I'll thing about that - later.'
Flatter the audience.
'Ninety-nine per cent of Singaporean / American ? (whatever city or country you are in) are lovely. When they said we had sold 100 tickets for this show / this theatre held a hundred people, I thought, there could be trouble.'
When the organiser asked me, 'Do you like surprises? I said yes. That was a mistake.'

2 Plan and list some possible heckles, work out possible responses and memorise responses.
Depending on the age of the heckler - or for humorous effect if you reply as if they were a different age:
'I asked my father to come along. That was a mistake.'
'Never invite your ex along.'
'OK you can be part of the act - but you won't get paid.'
'Anybody got a funny answer to that? Thank you / Maybe there isn't one.'
'I told my brother, pretend to be drunk, angry - and stupid.'
'I said I was too busy to come to your stage act. I just changed my mind.'
'I told them I liked a challenge. Learn from my mistake.'
'I have always regretted not learning karate.'

Angela Lansbury, author, speech trainer.