Sunday, April 7, 2019

Dinner Etiquette Rules for Cutlery, Bread, Poultry, Fish




In Singapore eating out is the national hobby. The whole island is like one big island restaurant mall, with Chinese restaurants, not just in Chinatown, Indian restaurants, not just in Little India, Malay restaurants, not just across the bridge into Malaysia, all kinds of Asian food, Japanese, Lorean, Thai. Whilst I have mastered the art of eating with chopsticks, and eating Indian food with my hands, the British cutlery conundrums still perplex many Asians. As I am British, they see me as an expert, which I am, because I wrote a book called Etiquette For Every Occasion, plus The Wedding Planner, and I keep researching the latest trends.

I thought I had taught everything I knew about dinner table etiquette and cutlery at my workshop Dinner Etiquette delivered to Braddell Heights toastmasters club in Singapore on the afternoon of Wednesday April 3rd. However, I told everybody if they had any more questions to email me. I am still getting queries. How do you use a fork, a knife, and a spoon. So here goes.

Dinner or Meat Knife
Just to recap. the knives are to the right of your plate with the blades pointing in. You start on the outside with your soup spoon or fish knife, then the dinner knife.

 How do you hold your dinner knife? You hold from above in order to grip it securely to slice the meat. You do not hold it like a pen.

A steak knife has a serrated blade for better slicing.

Bread / butter knife
On the left of your large dinner plates is a small side plate for your bread. You might have a small knife for buttering your bread, conveniently with either the knife 9or the bread) already on the little bread plate.

You might even have a plate of butter in the middle of the table with another knife for serving the butter.
A master butter knife has a point and is used for lifting rolled pats of butter onto other diners' butter plates.

Individual diners might each have a butter knife with a rounded end for spreading butter on their bread.
You put butter onto the side of the plate with the butter knife, then spread it onto the bread with your own butter knife. That prevents crumbs from your bread going back into the butter.



I had never heard of a master butter knife, and I would have thought the two pointed silver knives were fish knives, especially as they often appear in sets of 6 or 12, sometimes in a box. If you go to the Silver vaults in London, or any antique shop in London, England, or other cities and towns and villages in the UK, you can look at cutlery in antique shops and ask about them.

Photo supplied to Wikipedia by killerchihuahua under butter knife.

A Chinese friend from Singapore asked:
'I'm still not very sure how to eat bread with butter.  For example, is there a difference between the way to eat slices of bread (from a loaf), and the way to eat buns with soft or crumbly skin?  How about a croissant, or a bagel?'

Eating Sliced Bread
At breakfast in Britain, whether in a hotel, restaurant, pub or home, you often get served toast. Toast should be hot and you can use a small knife to spread the butter all over it so the butter melts.

At home, at a family meal, you can do what you like, except that you might want to practise what to do in a restaurant so you are prepared and don't forget.

Apart from toast, on formal occasions, all other breads and buns, cut the bread or bun in half and break off a piece and spread butter on that. 

What is the point of etiquette?
1 To do the same as everybody else
2 Not to spill your food. (That is why you tilt your soup bowl towards the table and not into your lap.)
3 Not to eat so much that you cannot talk.
4 Not to make a mess.
5 Not to cause others trouble.
6 Not to make others watch you eating or drinking when they have no food.
7 Ensure that others eat their food whilst it is hot or cold without waiting.
9 If something is too big, cut it in half.

Bread from a loaf
Traditionally, you don't cut or fold your slice of bread to make a sandwich but you eat an 'open-topped sandwich'
You spread a little butter on the side of your plate so as not to keep others waiting whilst you butter the whole slice, and then pass on the butter.

Be logical
Don't take large pieces you cannot handle or eat. Don't take more than your share.
Bagels
The bagel is often eaten hot. It is hard to hold and cut when it is hot. What if you take it out of the freezer to cook it on a rack on top of a toaster or under a grill?


You can buy pre-sliced bagels.
A bagel is Impossible to slice when frozen. So slice it horizontally before freezing. 

When serving bagels, ensure that one person does not get all the top with the sprinkled seeds, whilst another person gets none. When serving, I would cut the bagels horizontally, spread with butter then cream cheese and smoked salmon, place the lid on. Cut  vertically into halves or quarters.

Advantages
No guest had to handle anything too large.
More to go around your group.
People don't take a whole filling bagel and either eat to much or leave some to waste on the plate uneaten.

Eat with your hands. Use a paper napkin to hold it so your hands don't get messy in case you need to shake hands with somebody.

Meat and Fish
How do you eat trouble-some food, such as whole spring chicken, a steak, whole lobster, spaghetti (& other pasta)?   

You could get a whole bird such as a small quail.

Quail /Spring Chicken

Start by pulling off the two legs, one at a time, and eating with your fingers.
Slice the quail breast down the middle from the neck. No rib cage will obstruct you.
The wings are too tiny to have any meat on them, just bone and skin. Don't waste your time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNYsQXE9Wo

Lobster
Ask the waiter / server. I am allergic to shellfish so never go near it. But see the hendy websites below.

Pasta
Spaghetti
With your fork in your left hand and your spoon in your right hand.

Photo of Spaghetti by the Culinary Greek in wikipedia under spaghetti

Without a spoon, you could twirl the fork in your right hand to wind the spaghetti around the tines.
Or put a spoon in your left hand like a miniature bowl - the only time you use a spoon in your left hand.

I would lean forward slightly to avoid the risk of getting sauce on my front.
You can also twirl the spaghetti with your fork inside the soup spoon which anchors the end of the for, and helps guide the spaghetti with small meatballs, you may have to eat the meatballs from the fork.

You often keep your knife and fork from the starter for eating the main course.
Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please share links to your favourite posts.

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