Who Is Complaining About Video Calls Instead Of Hospital Visits?
I have heard people complaining that they could not be at the bedside of their dying parents and grandparents in the UK, USA and Singapore, but could only speak on the video phone. I think how lucky they are.
First, I shall tell you my family experiences - when we did not have the advantage of iPads in hospitals. Then I shall tell you how much you can do nowadays:
a) Visit your family online, at home and hospital
b) Interview them on family history and
c) Send them uplifting photos of home and holidays,
d) Organize online doctors chats and prescriptions.
My mother, Netta, on her wedding day to my father, Albert, in WWII.
The Year 2000
I wish I had had iPads in hospital in the year 2000. My mother died alone in hospital in 2000. At that time we were not allowed to use mobile phones in Watford General Hospital, London, England.
The 1900s
I had often heard from my mother, Netta, how Netta's father, my maternal grandfather, Paul, died alone in the 1900s in London. He, too, was without the benefit of phone and video contact to his family, who were elsewhere in the hospital.
People on the internet, and in news stories, have complained that they could not visit or touch granny.
My mother recalled the death of her father, Paul, in a London hospital, just after they had visited him. She said that he told them, 'I called all night - but nobody came.'
Nursing homes try to ban family setting up secret surveillance. They should welcome it. Instead of needing nurses on call, family could be entertaining bored grandads with music and conversation and only alerting hospital in a case of emergency such as grandad falling over.
My mother said, "A nurse said we should all go off for tea. So we did. When we came back, he was dead"
After my mother died, for days I worried about whether somebody had given her an injection to bump her off. When my father died, I was there, so I knew nothing like that had happened. With videos, you can be checking what is going on. You can watch at the time. And/or play back, later.
The Years 2002-2005
After my mother died, her younger brother, my uncle Ronnie, went into Barnet hospital. I was able to visit Ronnie with my father (who drove me there in his car).
Angela's Uncle Ronnie in Barnet Hospital, visited by Angela and Angela's father Albert.
I spent a long couple of afternoons or with Ronnie. Then he had the operation.
Physical Touch?
After my uncle got MRSA and declined, he was too sensitive to be touched.
In Barnet hospital. I could only observe my uncle through a side ward window in the London hospital, Barnet Hospital, without donning clothes and gloves. My uncle had MRSA after an operation which was supposed to give im another three years of life. MRSA is an, infections you pick up in hospital or take in with you.
He died in Barnet hospital.
Similarly, my mother-in-law, Pearl, for days before dying, was too sensitive to be touched. If you tried to touch her hand, or arm, she recoiled and moaned.
When my father was in hospital, he was too frail to get up and go to the phone. When I called the hospital and asked them to tell them I had phoned, I could not be sure they would remember to tell him. So I devised questions which needed an answer. It could be as simple as, "Tell him my son is visiting tonight and ask him if there's anything Tony should bring."
When the nurse called me back and said, "He was asleep earlier. When he woke up I told him your son was visiting. I asked if he wanted anything, and he said, 'Nothing, thank you, just the visit.' "
That way I was sure my message was delivered. How much better nowadays to have a proper video call!
The Blessings Of Internet In The Year 2020
In this era, 2020, we are lucky to have internet contact. If the complainers' granny could not speak, at least the family could observe the room and know that nobody had deliberately snuffed out granny or grandfather.
If the family wanted a record, the family could video the hospital or nursing home scene, for use in family history or for a court case for neglect against the hospital. Or to identify and thank and maybe reward a kind nurse who had comforted their beloved relative.
I have heard people complaining that they could not be at the bedside of their dying parents and grandparents in the UK, USA and Singapore, but could only speak on the video phone. I think how lucky they are.
First, I shall tell you my family experiences - when we did not have the advantage of iPads in hospitals. Then I shall tell you how much you can do nowadays:
a) Visit your family online, at home and hospital
b) Interview them on family history and
c) Send them uplifting photos of home and holidays,
d) Organize online doctors chats and prescriptions.
My mother, Netta, on her wedding day to my father, Albert, in WWII.
The Year 2000
I wish I had had iPads in hospital in the year 2000. My mother died alone in hospital in 2000. At that time we were not allowed to use mobile phones in Watford General Hospital, London, England.
Paul
I had often heard from my mother, Netta, how Netta's father, my maternal grandfather, Paul, died alone in the 1900s in London. He, too, was without the benefit of phone and video contact to his family, who were elsewhere in the hospital.
People on the internet, and in news stories, have complained that they could not visit or touch granny.
My mother recalled the death of her father, Paul, in a London hospital, just after they had visited him. She said that he told them, 'I called all night - but nobody came.'
Nursing homes try to ban family setting up secret surveillance. They should welcome it. Instead of needing nurses on call, family could be entertaining bored grandads with music and conversation and only alerting hospital in a case of emergency such as grandad falling over.
My mother said, "A nurse said we should all go off for tea. So we did. When we came back, he was dead"
After my mother died, for days I worried about whether somebody had given her an injection to bump her off. When my father died, I was there, so I knew nothing like that had happened. With videos, you can be checking what is going on. You can watch at the time. And/or play back, later.
The Years 2002-2005
After my mother died, her younger brother, my uncle Ronnie, went into Barnet hospital. I was able to visit Ronnie with my father (who drove me there in his car).
I spent a long couple of afternoons or with Ronnie. Then he had the operation.
Physical Touch?
After my uncle got MRSA and declined, he was too sensitive to be touched.
In Barnet hospital. I could only observe my uncle through a side ward window in the London hospital, Barnet Hospital, without donning clothes and gloves. My uncle had MRSA after an operation which was supposed to give im another three years of life. MRSA is an, infections you pick up in hospital or take in with you.
He died in Barnet hospital.
Similarly, my mother-in-law, Pearl, for days before dying, was too sensitive to be touched. If you tried to touch her hand, or arm, she recoiled and moaned.
When my father was in hospital, he was too frail to get up and go to the phone. When I called the hospital and asked them to tell them I had phoned, I could not be sure they would remember to tell him. So I devised questions which needed an answer. It could be as simple as, "Tell him my son is visiting tonight and ask him if there's anything Tony should bring."
When the nurse called me back and said, "He was asleep earlier. When he woke up I told him your son was visiting. I asked if he wanted anything, and he said, 'Nothing, thank you, just the visit.' "
That way I was sure my message was delivered. How much better nowadays to have a proper video call!
The Blessings Of Internet In The Year 2020
In this era, 2020, we are lucky to have internet contact. If the complainers' granny could not speak, at least the family could observe the room and know that nobody had deliberately snuffed out granny or grandfather.
If the family wanted a record, the family could video the hospital or nursing home scene, for use in family history or for a court case for neglect against the hospital. Or to identify and thank and maybe reward a kind nurse who had comforted their beloved relative.
Bedside Vigil Rotas
Recently I read that Freddie Mercury's ex-wife and friends when they knew he was dying held a vigil rota by his bed. They made sure that he was never left alone. On Facebook I read the same about other families.
Even if you cannot travel, because of lack of flights, you can hold an internet rota. Twenty four hours. Or staying awake at night, taking an afternoon nap while the nurses are awake and watching.
Recently I read that Freddie Mercury's ex-wife and friends when they knew he was dying held a vigil rota by his bed. They made sure that he was never left alone. On Facebook I read the same about other families.
Even if you cannot travel, because of lack of flights, you can hold an internet rota. Twenty four hours. Or staying awake at night, taking an afternoon nap while the nurses are awake and watching.
You could even have the video on like a baby-sitting device, so you can hear any change of breathing. While you are sleeping, the patient can call you and wake you if they have something to say, or request.
You can set up the video so that the patient has the illusion of travelling home and being at home. Either just as a fond memory, or, if they have dementia, they might really think it is true.
You can bring out happy pictures or your travels, your family when you were younger and everybody was alive and healthy and happy.
You can show old photos to trigger memories and conversation. Or to bring comfort to them and yourself.
Using video conferencing with your family members when they are well enough at home still be a help if they need telemedicine or to speak to you from hospital.
Online pharmacy organizing prescriptions
Useful Websites
THE BAD NEWS
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/29/health/coronavirus-hospital-visit-ban.html
THE GOOD NEWS
UK - hospitals providing iPads
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/30/uk-hospitals-tightening-restrictions-on-visits-even-to-dying-patients-coronavirus
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/commentary/senior-elder-dementia-memory-reminiscence-therapy-holiday-family-12199668
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8226375/Dancing-gran-lockdown-good-health-deepens-family-ties.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Grandparents_Day
Useful Medical Websites
India
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medlife
Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong
https://platomedical.com/
USA
https://platomedical.com/
About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
See other posts on Freddie Mercury, telemedicine, Singapore, UK and more. Please share links to your favourite posts.
You can set up the video so that the patient has the illusion of travelling home and being at home. Either just as a fond memory, or, if they have dementia, they might really think it is true.
You can bring out happy pictures or your travels, your family when you were younger and everybody was alive and healthy and happy.
You can show old photos to trigger memories and conversation. Or to bring comfort to them and yourself.
Using video conferencing with your family members when they are well enough at home still be a help if they need telemedicine or to speak to you from hospital.
Online pharmacy organizing prescriptions
Useful Websites
THE BAD NEWS
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/29/health/coronavirus-hospital-visit-ban.html
THE GOOD NEWS
UK - hospitals providing iPads
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/30/uk-hospitals-tightening-restrictions-on-visits-even-to-dying-patients-coronavirus
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/commentary/senior-elder-dementia-memory-reminiscence-therapy-holiday-family-12199668
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8226375/Dancing-gran-lockdown-good-health-deepens-family-ties.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Grandparents_Day
Useful Medical Websites
India
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medlife
Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong
https://platomedical.com/
USA
https://platomedical.com/
About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
See other posts on Freddie Mercury, telemedicine, Singapore, UK and more. Please share links to your favourite posts.
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