Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Moving Overseas, or holidaying, as escapism - thinking positively

 Why travel? Because, as Winston Churchill said, 'A change is as good as a rest'.

Does travelling even on the internet, make you smile? Please smile!

Travellers As Survivors

If you have travelled a lot, you are a survivor. You have endured the minor problems, lost luggage, delays in travel, delayed entire holidays. Some setbacks require patiently waiting with a book. Others require resolutely asking various staff members, asking your one contact repeatedly at intervals, checking various forms of transport, until you find a fast, affordable solution.

In Japan I was at Hiroshima and the ticket seller said there were no seats on the overnight train back to Tokyo. My boyfriend, Jo, was in town for just one day. I asked about the local youth hostel. The youth hostel and taxi to and from were beyond my budget. I sat, sadly,  thinking. 

Eventually the ticket seller beckoned me back. He said: " I have one ticket. But only for sleeping. A couchette. More expensive."

"How much?"

 It was twice the price of a seat! Was I willing to pay for that? 

"Yes!" I said. 'Thank you. Arigato!" The cost was less than the cost of the hostel and two taxis. I would see my boyfriend! Solution!

Survival by luck

You may have survived  even a few ships and planes which went down when you were not on them. I was on a ship which later sank. I was on a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. One flight crashed later.

Temporary Tempests

I have survived, an earthquake in Greece. 

What about fires and floods? I have survived assorted small but scary floods. Even at home in Harrow, NW London, water like a river past my home, with the Hatch End high street high with water damaging the shops and their goods.

Surviving Bereavement

 I have survived the loss several relatives who died, such as my parents, and two uncles.  The solution is to avoid thinking of their death day, and to concentrate on a smiling photo and a time when they were laughing with you. Instead of remembering sad things about my father, I recall him saying, "I survived two world wars. I had a good life, and lots of holidays!"

Surviving Stressful Events

I have survived losing several speech contests, when unable to travel, online on Zoom, from one continent to another. Is it an exaggeration to say survived? 

I was President of a club when a member stayed up all night practising her speech, when interviewed, waiting for the results, she wailed that she had not spoken well, and threatened to commit suicide. Before hearing the results. 

A disaster for the person who came first. For all her club members. 

I enquired of the ambulance service what was needed for them to do a welfare check. The basic necessity was the address. To my surprise, they had no access to an address database. The caller had to give an address.

I did not know it. Another club member told me it was on the club website. As President, and under a duty of care, I had to look up her address. The ambulance said the police had to be called, (presumably not for malicious reporting, but in case a hysterical and suicidal person attacked them. They wanted written evidence that the person was threatening to commit suicide, and by what means. (By pills, knife, or gun, or anything causing mess, all required different searching or precautions.) After written evidence was provided by somebody else, the ambulance and police had to be called.

On another occasion, I heard that a new member had committed suicide. He had given a heart-rending, sad, introductory speech about the disasters he had fled from to reach a country of safety. He was voted the best speaker of the evening. Nobody told him to re-do the speech, later, better still the same evening, to leave the speaker and audience feeling more upbeat. Would that have made a difference?  I can't help wondering. If it happens again, 

Regarding my speeches where I knew or thought did not do well, or thought I did well, but judges thought otherwise, I was disappointed not to win. However, with happy hope more vivid than fear or failure, and wanting to be able to coach others and describe the experience, I went back, and won trophies, later years. I have several trophies which say Champion, and first runner, up. 

I have certificates of participation. I don't have any certificates which say, you lost. Toastmasters teaches you to be upbeat, verbally and in writing. When you are second in a speech contest, the system calls you first runner up. When you are third, it calls you second runner up. 

Suicide - and Prevention?

I enjoyed seeing San Francisco's grand Golden Gate Bridge. I was shocked to learn that people go there to commit suicide. Several things have been done to stop this. Signs with the number of the Samaritans. Free phones. Free phone calls on those phones. Barriers. Nets below. More good news, stopping suicides in one area does not divert or postpone the suicide, but stops it completely. Figures from three countries, California in the USA, Switzerland and New Zealand, show that stopping suicides in one place reduced the suicide rate for the entire year across the area.

I have good news for you. Suicide can be prevented. And you can play your part. By doing your part to keep up the positive thoughts, the energy, everywhere you go.

Please smile. 



You can greet everybody with a cheerful Good morning. If it's raining, don't say, bloody raining again, say, 'It's good for the plants.'

Suicide

 Earlier this year I read good news about suicide. How can there be good news about suicide? Isn't the news about suicide bad news? Yes. Even one suicide of a person you don't know, a famous person, seems like bad news. 

Bad News - WHO

Earlier this year I went onto the website of the World Health Organization, and read that during Covid, depression and suicide rates increased worldwide. Also, since the end of Covid, suicide rates have not get any better.

Anne Frank

I sighed! I tutted. I thought about Anne Frank, in hiding in Holland in WW2, who wrote positive thoughts which are still quoted today. She was forced to stay home longer than most of us. She did not have the internet and Zoom. But she wrote: 

Despite everything, I think that people are really good at heart. 

How wonderful it is that we do not have to wait a minute to start improving things. 

My translations may not be the ones you read, but she wrote in Dutch.

Even when contemplating the possibility of death, she was positive. She wrote,

 I want to go on living even after my death. 

She did. She achieved immortality through her diary.

She died.

But another Jewish person, Viktor Frankl, actually survived WW2 camps, and a death march, and lost his wife, and like Anne Frank's father, remarried. Viktor wrote another best selling book, His had a positive message in the title, translated as Man's Search For Meaning. That is alliterative, but rather abstract. I prefer to translate it as People's search for a purpose. 

 I turned to the Wikipedia page about one of my favourite positive thinkers, Viktor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl

I was astonished, and heartened to read that while he was still a young student at the university of Vienna in Austria, he was asked to help prevent student suicides. 

A little investigation showed that the most stressful time was around the exams. In Toastmasters, the stressful time is around contests. People are scared to sign up, or pull out at the last minute.

Viktor Frankl set up a very simple system, a buddy system. A bit like mentors. A bit like life coaches. Focussing on the year's course, the exams, and life in general.

Did he reduce suicides. I was shocked. Not by a lot. Not by little.  But completely. No suicides. None. Nada!

Dale Carnegie recommends being interested in other people and helping them. Frankl's says that what you need is a purpose or mission, a personal goal, or one for your group, or the world.

On New Year's Eve, before Covid, I was depressed because in a previous year somebody knew had committed suicide on New Year's Eve.

But I phoned out son to wish him Happy New Year on New Year's Eve. He was no alone. He had just proposed marriage.

During Covid, my purpose was to slim down to increase my chances of survival. I  have a purpose. Be a survivor.weighed myself every day. I had a purpose.

Now I have a grandchild and my purpose is to survive until her 20th birthday when I hope she will get married.

I am a survivor. Are you a survivor? My small purpose is to learn the language of the next country I shall visit, or the group taking the visit. I am going to Albania with a group containing several who speak German. Do you have a purpose? To be a traveller to many countries? A polyglot? Or simply  A SURVIVOR.


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