Sunday, November 12, 2023

Weddings Worldwide - Reviewed after a Singapore Muslim Malay style wedding reception


Angela dressed as a guest for a Malay Muslim wedding in Singapore. Photo by Sharot family.

For a Malay wedding I wore an outfit which covered my arms to below the elbow, and covered my legs.

Weddings worldwide differ. I should know. I have written several books on the subject and been to Christian ,Jewish and Muslim weddings, English, French, Italian, Chinese and Malay-Singaporean style weddings. I have also conducted a mock wedding ceremony when the officiant was late and the bride wanted sunset photos in the Botanical Gardens bandstand.

My latest venture was to the wedding of a good friend in Singapore. It was a Malay style Singaporean venue. What made it different from, for example, a Chinese wedding or an English wedding?

An English wedding usually has a maid of honour or matron of honour  (the latter a married woman) and/or a couple of bridesmaids who are best friends or sisters. An American wedding can have a dozen bridesmaids, perhaps classmates of a college student.

A UK wedding might have ushers, males in co-ordinating colours showing people to seats.

In Singapore the wedding took place in a wedding hall on the upper floor of a skyscraper shopping mall. confusingly the car parks were on the third level. The wedding venue was on the 2nd or third.

A man wearing what looked like a traditional Sikh outfit, a colourful trouser suit with braid and headgear was in the street outside. When we stopped to look at the directions and try to work out the entrance to the building, he stepped forward to help us. I thought he was a polite bystander. However, he followed us into the building, and confirmed the level when we reached the escalator. So I presumed he had been parked outside by the organizers of the wedding or the venue.

We had been wondering how to present our gift of money. (In the UK you don't give money. You have a wedding list in a department store, nowadays maybe two, or online.)

At a previous wedding which was Chinese, the welcome table outside the hall ticked off our names, counted out the money, and gave us a receipt. Like an accountant. that way no money could drop out or go missing between the donar and the couple. 

At the Muslim wedding reception, the venue had a welcome desk inside the room, before a flowered arch. the table had a large box like the one for Xmas cards at house parties or Writers Circle Club parties in the UK. 

Card Sizes

I had been embarrassed that my greeting card was so small. At Christmas parties and weddings and birthdays in restaurants in the UK, visitors present cards up to A4 size. Mine was A5 size. At the last minute I had found  in my emergency greeting card box, several greetings cards and chosen one. (Rejecting the cards which said Happy Christmas, happy birthday and Condolences!)

I decorated it with gold glue glitter to make it more festive. 

St the venue I slipped it into the box and was presented with a thank you going home gift which was a small jar of teeny chocolate biscuits in a silver glitter cube shaped box.

To my surprise, my husband later assured me that my cards was large enough. He said my card was distinctive -larger than the others. The other envelopes were all the size of red packets given at Chinese New Year. 

Red Packets

Chinese New Year follows Christmas in the tourist calendar, being in January or February. Red packets used to be given away to bank customers. Now that banks are online, red packets are shown on websites and you can make donations through the web.  

The shape is elongated. They come in two sizes, mostly, like a half width of an A6 pocket diary.   

The food was laid out buffet style, 

Seating

The tables were round and there was free seating. I thought that worked well. You could choose to sit with family and friends, sit at the front to take photos, sit at the back keeping noisy children out of sight, mix with new people.

The End

The buffet was cleared away. We waved goodbye.

Layout and Dais

the central hall was a path leading up to the dais where the happy couple sat surrounded by flowers, to greet you. An mc alongside the couple had a microphone to call out who was approaching, and then hand you the microphone to give out an announced good wish.

(He was aided by a young lady a few feet in front who asked your name and how you were related to the couple. My husband and I later speculated on how she conveyed the message to the couple.


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