Happy Xmas At Home Eating Stollen

The internet now brings the world to your doorstep. I've enjoyed stollen, the marzipan filled Xmas cake from Germany, bought from a local supermarket.
   I read in the newspapers about the people stranded at airports over Xmas and realised although I was not travelling I was lucky to be warm and dry and well fed with food from around the world. Today boxing day, remembering the Tsunami, just sitting calmly at a computer seems a happy day.
   A good news story was conjoined twins who have been successfully separated, spending Xmas in hospital dressed in Santa's little helper Santa suits.
   A lesson to the rest of us to stop complaining about sleepless nights, shortage of money, delays at airports, missing Xmas presents. You know what - you just don't realise how lucky you are. Things could be a lot worse. Delighted to see the successful op and happy parents. And their dear little older brother stroking them obviously appreciate the improvement in his siblings and how the family must all pull together and celebrate each other's successes.

Storm Delays at Gatwick- Provide Convertible Bunk Beds, Reclining Seats, Suitcase Seats, Backpack Beds

Airports know at least once a year delays will happen.
1 RECLINING SEATS They should design airport seats like aircraft seats which recline.
2 BEDS
Build airport lounges where walls have bunk beds. (Charge a low fee. And/or make beds only available in emergencies to ticket holders of grounded planes. Passengers could be given a free bed ticket and token to unlock the bed).
3 BED/CHAIR SUITCASES
Suitcase manufacturers should be designing suitcases which turn into seats (I think one company has tried this already - but they are expensive). And sets of stacking family luggage should be designed to lock together like lego to make a series of slim beds. You could also run ticker tape news on weather, lost and found passengers, opening and shutting of cafeterias, departure of shuttle buses, departing planes, trains and buses or taxis and cab-share services with empty seats and other useful news.
4 ATTACHED HOTELS
Build more motels, budget motels, attached to airport terminals or car parks with covered walkways and ramps for wheeled luggage and wheelchairs.

Bordeaux Château Helicopter Crash

Bad news - dreadful death of Bordeaux Chateau and vineyard's new owner and former owner in a helicopter crash just after the celebrations and press conference.
The new owner, now deceased, was Lam Kok. The previous owner was piloting the helicopter.
I have now found out that the lost son was not the only son. An older brother survives as well as the wife. This must be some comfort to the family. I first read the story in the mail on line. The South China Press has more. The widow is a powerful entrepreneur and I am glad to hear the large company will continue plans to expand the estate with a hotel so more people can enjoy the wines and the area.
On a lighter note, I looked with surprise at the dates of newspaper articles to find the latest. Then I noticed a couple dated 24th - tomorrow! Of course, it's tomorrow already as you travel further east. 

Serving our wine matching the food at La Sophia Restaurant, Notting Hill

Three members of my family go to wine tastings and wine dinners at Berry Brothers in London and to the wine tastings at The Wine Society in Stevenage. One member of the family has completed level three of the wine course. A reunion of family and friends we have worked with in the past seemed a chance to practise pairing wine and food. But where? We wanted to meet in central London so the overseas visitors did not have too far to travel. After researched all the BYO (bring your own) restaurants in London we found one where staff were happy to accommodate us. La Sophia Restaurant's menu is French Lebanese with halal options and a small choice of wines by the glass and bottle.
The water was served in my favourite modern style of jug with the hole in the middle. We brought one bottle cooler and they supplied another and a carafe.
Let's go through my experience in order. We took a dog leg walk left our of the station along the main road, right along the Portobello market, left and then slightly uphill until we spied our restaurant on the left with tables outside for smokers.
Our reserved table was by the window. The ladies toilet downstairs (through the private room area) was amusingly decorated in black and mosaic and what looked like gold but was probably brass, would be improved by a bit of a clean up with bleach, I thought, with my landlady's eyes - I go for white, rather than black.
I was surprised that we did not receive any free nibbles before the starter (unlike the Italian restaurants in Hatch End and NW London suburbs), but in retrospect I realise that bread fills you up too much before the meal, but maybe an olive would have been welcome.
The menu choice was just what everybody wanted.
Starters were snails or shellfish for others, soup for me. Main courses, steak for some, and for me chicken and potatoes. The presentation was pretty, though I could not detect any of the truffle or truffle oil mentioned mentioned on the menu.
We chose to have extra cheese, served after the meat and before dessert French style so that real food fills you up before the sugar sates you and revives you with the coffee. I recently read dentists' advice that it's better for your teeth not to finish with sweets but with cheese. Our expert diner chose one of the cheeses to match his wine, rather than the selection. The selection might have been better. I deliberately go for bland food, but perhaps everything I had until that point seemed too bland including the cheese.
The cheese was unexceptional but again prettily presented.
However, all change for the grand finale. Our sweet dessert wine, Vouvray, was chosen to match the restaurant's dessert was a matching of sweet wine, with Tarte Tartin. Very interesting that the sweet wine tasted before the dessert seemed sweet, but after the dessert by contrast the wine seemed less sweet.
The Tarte Tatin was wonderful. The delightful fresh, filling tarte tat in was so tasty that it transformed a so far good enough meal into a total success. We entertained ourselves with the story of Tarte tatin, which I knew was made upside down with the pastry underneath by mistake, almost a serendipity, attributed to the Tatin sisters, promoted by a chef. What I had not heard previously was that one of the Tatin sisters made the mistake either because she was losing alertness as she got older or never had much of it in the first place.
Back to the restaurant. The service was faultless. The staff watched from the back room and caught our eye when we looked up and waved or signed and nodded back.
They served our wine as requested in an ice bucket, changed the red and white wine drinks glasses when we swapped bottles and wrapped leftovers for a takeaway.
We left in cheery mood having had a lively, long lunch, and a convivial time with goodwill all round to our companions and the restaurant staff.
We spoke to the co-owner who is Bulgarian studying wine. His wife/partner/business partner - I didn't quite catch it, is Thai and their other restaurants are or will be soon a Mexican restaurant and another restaurant in Bangkok.
Must check their website when going to Thailand.
I hope they stay with their restaurant in London so we can repeat the event.
La Sophia Restaurant, French and Mediterranean Cuisine
46 Golborne Road, Notting Hill, London W10 5PR
email: contact@lasophia.co.uk
www.lasophia.co.uk
Reservations tel:020 8968 2200

A man got left on a locked plane in Houston airport December 2013.
I once took a flight from the USA to the UK. It wasn't one flight but to my surprise two or three stopovers with short flights all across the USA.
Each flight only allowed a couple of hours sleep because you have to queue up for the next plane, get your luggage, wait for take-off, keep seats up for mealtimes. If you are taking two or three flights and miss a night's sleep you are completely zonked by the last flight.
If you stayed up late and hoped to sleep on the plane, it's worse. You might have been awake all night on a previous long haul flight, staying awake deliberately to watch a film or because you changed time zones, or because of a baby in front and a kicking toddler behind. Once I was kept awake by the ladies behind playing snap with the free playing cards, constantly banging cards down on the table on the back of my seat.
It's really scary being alone in a plane or train. The latter happened to me in London when I woke to realise my train was heading sideways into a siding. You could be left for three days on an out of service vehicle. No food, nothing. Spooky. Scary. No idea if anybody will find you.
Supposing the abandoned passenger had a heart attack? Before he woke. Or after. Nobody would have got him to hospital in time to revive him.
Now if I fall asleep on a flight, I ask cabin crew to be sure to wake me at my destination.

Buildings styles worldwide

A fuss has been made about the royals changing a grey roof to bright orange/red in Wales.
In the old days houses blended in with landscapes because you could only afford timber or clay. Now we are able to build homes of other materials and colours. Basically the neighbours don't want to see the royals because they are seen as newcomers to the area. The solution is to do what the Dutch do, as soon as you move in you invite all your neighbours to a welcome party. Then the neighbours are friends instead of watching strangers.

Christmas Lights & Free Food in Hatch End

My red rheindeer hat cost me only £1 in Tesco Express. That was my contribution to the evening celebrations when the Xmas lights were turned on alongside the street Xmas tree, with carols and free food.
Free food!

Where in the world do you get free food? In the USA back in the Sixties you could get free food in summer in the park in Haight Ashbury, San Francisco, California - bread dyed pink? With food colouring. We hoped.

Later in several cities
we lined up for pancakes and syrup, sometimes sausages or meat. We had free breakfast in summer at towns with rodeos.

Nowadays in the UK NW London in a leafy lane near Watford a Hindu Hare krishna temple serves a free rice and curried vegetable lunch regularly. It is sponsored by a family with a celebration that week.

Nearer the shopping centres, you can get free food and drink two or three times a year in Hatch End, Pinner, Middlesex. This summer we had a street party for the Jubilee and then Royal wedding. We always look for an excuse to attract visitors in summer and winter.

So we had comedian Barry Cryer, a local resident, to speak when the Xmas lights were switched on December 6th. Then several shops in tiny Hatch End high street started serving food and drinks. Hatch end main street is the Uxbridge Road. One restaurant facade boasts a plaque to Mrs Beeton, the pioneer cookery writer, ('first kill your chicken … take a dozen eggs').

I started with a juice outside Fellinis. Then chocolates at Tanna the chemist. Chuck had a great display of lights, moving reindeer.

On to a glass of bubbly, olives and chicken canapés on sticks in the upmarket furniture store opposite Chaplins, where I met the staff who do renovations of furniture in their Stanmore workshop. They said it would cost me £100-£150 to cover a headboard. they are very proud of their covering a sofa for Mr Ross. (See the plaque about this under the Xmas tree across the road.)

On the Xmas tree side of the road a tried a free chocolate at the newly opened (late 2013) chocolate shop, Rainbeau. the Genuine Cakes shop gave me a delicious piece of vanilla cake. Then up to B and K Salt Beef bar for a slice of turkey and a small latke (potato cake). Luckily we had small portions everywhere. I still had room for a mince pie over at Robertson and Philips estate agent.
A couple of last photos of windows - the antique shop had a chef holding a bottle of wine.

The Simple Things: How to Paint a Crock Pot

The Simple Things: How to Paint a Crock Pot
I have an old milk pan with a handy lip. Too good to throw out. Can't get another. Too shabby to use as it is. I don't need a fancy pattern, just an all over colour. Except a fancy pattern would show the grease less. I imagine it's less likely to peel if the whole area is covered with heatproof spray paint, not a pattern.

Wine Society, Welwyn Garden City Costa Coffee, White Lights

Wine Society
The Wine Society is a co-operative with lots of events at the warehouse cum shop and tasting room in Stevenage. Membership currently costs only £40 to join for life but you get back £20 to spend on their wines.
The wine shop has a tasting dispenser called on Enoteca. You pay for a card which is topped up with however much money you want to put on it. You can then help yourself to glasses of wine costing various prices by putting the card in a slot by the bottle.
The wines are changed regularly.
Within the shop is a bin end shop.
I recently went to their pre-Christmas tasting event. In addition to dry wines, I tried four sweet wines and liked the muscat.
I also got free tastings of their Xmas gifts: super smoked salmon, wild boar pate, good, pudding - can't go wrong, chocolate sticks with mint in the middle and yummy chocolate truffles. Did I mention the nuts, large, more-ish nuts.

Welwyn Garden City Coffee Stop
On the way up we hit traffic and diverted to Welwyn Garden Suburb town centre looking for coffee. Welwyn centre has a John Lewis and Debenhams department stores, a central green, assorted charity shops and several restaurants including Ask, and several coffee shops including Cafe Nero and Costa. We found a parking place for one hour near the Costa which had indoor and outdoor seating and was large and spacious. We shared my favourite raspberry and almond slice. I had a tall hot chocolate. The city centre had white lights for the winter-Xmas holiday season. In Singapore lights come down the day after Xmas, sometimes on new Year's Day, but it the UK they usually stay up until the 12th day of Xmas, January 6th. I sat reading the newspaper and could have stayed all day if the wine tasting hadn't beckoned. the toilets were upstairs, good for me to get exercise. I wonder whether they have a downstairs toilet for wheelchair users. But I had other things on my mind, wine tasting ahead, as we diverted down country roads to avoid the jams. I wrote a little ditty:
Jag-ged Journey
by Angela Lansbury

On winter days I love to drive
And hear old winter tales re-told
Where bright lights bring windows alive
I buy red hats, I leave, all's sold

As autumn nights grow short and cold
Out in the dark countryside
The driver is too late, too bold
Headlights' white glare, I duck and hide

We fly past every dark, deep ditch
The ghostly clouds and dead black trees
I dream of cities where the rich
Enjoy silver and gold cream teas

I dream of log fires, mulled red wine
Of singing by the Yuletide tree
The joy of crowds at Christmas time
Where friends and strangers smile at me.














At the Wine Society the entrance had white winter lights on fir trees.

Xmas gifts in the Wine Society shop included damson, fig, gooseberry, lime or quince chutney.

Vancouver's Ban On Door Knobs

What starts in America spreads to London and worldwide. Vancouver city council plans to ban circular door knobs and install horizontal levers because they are easier for the elderly.
The elderly population is increasing in the affluent countries. (In the newer, poorer countries, with high birth and death rates, the youngsters have ten children and the average age is under thirty. In the USA, UK and Japan, there are more elderly people and in years to come there will be still more. Back to door knobs.
I was fed up with catching my sleeves and cuffs belts and dressing gown belts anything else projection or trailing caught on levers. I was about to change lever handles to knobs. Now I shall reconsider. A half way solution is the same as taps. You can have circular one if they have indents you can grasp. But I have found lever taps much better. Less likely to be left half on dripping or turned off so tightly that you cannot turn them on.

Xmas dinner and dessert in two cheeses

Love the Pilgrim's Choice cheese company idea for a cheese with British Xmas dinner flavours and another for dessert. As I'm cook-shy but love eating.
Great for the elderly, those who hate cooking, extra visitors, a novelty, the blind and those with impaired vision, very simple if you are half way to Alzheimer's - not a joke - I mean those who refuse to move into sheltered accommodation but their descendants are anxious about them eating properly, and singles who can't be bothered to do all that for one and it makes a change for boxing day or a seasonal meal during the holidays.
It's not yet in production but if we all encourage them with demands I'm sure by next Xmas it will be. 

New home UK/USA/Asia or overseas? Old Mail? How Do You Know The Previous Owner's Business?

Readers of news stories about the McStay family queried how the new occupier of their former rented home would know what was in their mail. Even thought it's illegal to open it.
Easy. Not wicked to have opened a piece of mail accidentally, nor to read the return address on the front or back hunting for a tick box for return to sender.
1 After the companies' billing departments has got the previous occupier's new address the marketing department keeps mailing your address.
2 You return or forward mail.
3 But it keeps on arriving.
4 Some of the coupons or offers are now duplicates of people sending to you as new owner or occupiers.  So you open all those addressed to yourself. A dozen of them. You slit open all and don't notice one of them is for somebody else. So you open one of the envelopes by mistake - find you opened something addressed to previous owners.
5 Then you worry bailiffs or police are about to break down your door. So before re-sealing and returning to sender you you look for the sender's phone helpline to tell them no use calling here. You want to save debt collectors and utilities trouble as well as help previous householders who seem to be missing out vital mail.
6 You start to chuck out the circulars and trash coupons.
7 But, just in case, you open something which might not be a circular.
Still, with goodwill to all, meanwhile anything important you try to return or forward.
Assuming you have time to deal with all your own bills and circulars and still have time to deal with somebody else's as well!

The Good Food Show London Food Highlights - Chocolate And More

Green & Black's chocolate paired with wines.

Go to their stand for lots of free tastes.

Who would guess that chocolate was the size of a coconut with teeny beans inside.

Speciality popcorn by Garrett in special tubs made for this Xmas.

Caramel crisp was one flavour. The savoury one was even better. 

Did I mention the samples of fudge?

Absolutely the best new chocolate in all sorts of weird and wonderful flavours, such as cinammon.

Floral tea. I saw this years ago in China. You put the dehydrated flower in your glass of tea and watch it grow.

Amusing sculptures holding bottles.

Gold in wine.

The Good Food Show London Wine Highlights

My top ten memories from the Good Food Show London

1 The wine map based on the map of London underground, which shows you which grapes and varieties are similar so you can see that if you like a dry red or sweet white or sparkling rose which other wines you might also like. 

2 Oz Clarke's Wine Guide. It comes out every two years and tells you which year wines from all round the world were best. Trevor Sharot who bought a signed copy uses it every time he goes into a wine shop or checks a wine to buy or research on line. Oz told us that his name Oz is a nickname because of the way he played cricket.

3 Wine tasting pairing wines with Green & Black's chocolate. 

4 Wine tasting of Hardy's wines of Australia, comparing chardonnay wines. Chardonnay is used in Champagne but only wines from the Champagne area of France can use the name. 

5 Wine tasting of three kinds of macaroons paired with three sweet wines. The Cordon Bleu school of cookery demonstrated how to make a macaroon. Then we tasted three macaroons, the first with foie gras and fig was the best. You could hardly taste the pate but the fig was heavenly.

6 Hattie's wines - the most amusing with the hats.

7 The gold wine containing gold.

1 Wine tube map webpage  conviviumwine.com or twitter @WinetubeMap or Facebook WineTubeMap

6 Webpage Hattieswines.co.uk

 Twitter @HattiesWines facebook HattiesWines webpage hattieswines.co.uk

See my next blog for foods at the show.

More shows around Britain including Birmingham and in Scotland. If you missed this year's in London be sure to go to the next one.

Christmas Gifts Problems & Prizes - Problem Solved With Booklist or Book

Gifts. The Asians are great at gift giving. Give somebody a gift and they give one back. At Christmas and parties the host has to keep gifts ready to reciprocate.
At Christmas 2013 Camilla is reported in the Daily Mail online as not knowing what to buy for Charles. he already has everything he needs.

Just do what we do. Each member of the family makes a wish list through the year of things they'd like but don't need urgently. Amazon and other opine companies let you create wish lists. Then print off the list. Other families tick of what they've got you and pass on the list to each other to avoid duplication. On the day it's a surprise because you've forgotten what you wanted three months ago and had no idea what you would get. Some people are satisfied with the surprise of not knowing a or b, boy or girl, heads or tails. This way an added surprise is which colour, or how many items. An extra surprise is the wrapping. What's inside this square box with the bow on top?
When I was a child I was given a book token and we would travel up to Foyles during the January sales and I would buy a one-volume encyclopaedia. Now the option of gift token is less secure, not just because you might lose the gift card - thrown out with the envelopes, or lost until the card is out of date, but because companies can go out of business.
If all else fails, print your own book about the recipient, a history of the recipient's life about them, their family, their whole life or their year. I am writing a booklet on how to self-publish your life story. I have done the history of a 90 year old relative, my next of kin, and myself and ancestors, and my Toastmasters speakers' club. If you have any questions about publishing, send me your queries.

Photo of Stanmore Xmas lights 2013 by Angela Lansbury

Wonderful Wines at World Travel Market

Wines, white, pink and red kept me busy all day at the World Travel Market. The best for me was the first I tasted, a tokay on the Hungarian stand. Sweet and delicious. They seem to produce all kinds of wine, something for everybody, including me.
On to Slovak wines.
Lebanese wines had the most amusing labels, classy, artistic, unusual and delightful. Symphony wine has a musical instrument on the label. I met the maker.

We also saw wines from North and South America.

Bridge in China collapses - more than 40 run onto it

The warning sign on a new bridge in China said maximum capacity 40 persons. The bridge collapses when a crowd surged on to see the view. It's daft to expect the public to stand counting to forty. Children would struggle. Foreigners can't read Chinese.  With people running on and off a long bridge how are you supposed to guess 39, 40, 41, 40? While you are counting everybody else is running past as families or coach parties rush to stay with the leader. Your father or coach party has disappeared way ahead of you. The answers as others have said is, design the bridge to support the number who can get on it. Restrict entry. Have a counting device. Have a warning sign when numbers are exceeded. Say why numbers are restricted.
Where was it? Lushan mountain, Jiujiang city. See article and picture in Daily Mail 2013, Tuesday Oct 15.

Raspberry Mouse?

I was reading the menu for last Saturday when I noticed the spelling of raspberry. Rasberry - missing p. Then I saw the word omlette with missing e. It should be omelette. What is the origin of that French word? Lette or ette suggests small.

Finally I noticed rasberry 'mouse' (sic). That does sound delicious. I imagine the Romans served their favourite dish, dormouse, surrounded by raspberries. Has chef Heston Blumenthal heard of it?

Sleepless at home or on holiday? Solutions are sleep, exercise, travel,a weekend lie-in - what works?

We all know you need sleep to feel refreshed and be alert for driving, which is why pilots and drivers of commercial vehicles have regulated hours of sleep or driving. But how do you sleep well, and can you make up for lost midweek sleep at the weekend?

On holiday at a hotel in a European city centre with dreadful traffic noise we thought we would never sleep.
We lay down and groaned. Then we woke up - it was already next morning!
How had we slept despite the noise? We'd been busy all day, from dawn packing up and catching a ferry from England to France, then driving cross-country. All day using up physical and mental energy.
If you cannot sleep - why?
Exhausted all the time?: Process of elimination.

Try: new diet eg less sugar; more oxygen - open window and get a thicker duvet; check medical condition - ask doctor to give you a complete checkup or at least test your thyroxine ; self analysis - exhausted what time of day, midweek or all week, morning or evening, speaking to whom makes you feel better or worse?

On another occasion I was at a hotel in Portugal, lovely hotel but a bedroom on a busy main road. After a night's poor sleep, I complained to the manager.
He smiled and said, 'I understand. Many people say that the first night.  Unfortunately the hotel is full - but, if you have an ongoing problem, you can move room tomorrow - however, most people sleep well the second day once they are used to it.'
I didn't believe him, but he was right. Having missed one night's good sleep, I was so tired, and so used to the noise, that on night two I slept through quite happily.
The latest study suggests that one night's good sleep at the weekend is not enough. You feel better but are not completely alert - and may be doing your body long-term damage.
I can testify to the lack of alertness. I learned the hard way, from a car accident. I missed a night's sleep trying to finish a chapter of a book for a deadline. I had a night's catch up sleep, but still felt very tired. I drove along the Hendon Way, NW London. I was turning right at the lights. The car ahead turned right. I was second. I followed. I saw a car approaching fast. My reactions were slow. I thought, he's going too fast - brake. I braked but came to rest in his path. Next thought, accelerate. I accelerate and thought, phew, that was close. His car hit the back corner of my car. My car spun around. I came to rest, having hit my ribs on the steering column in the centre of the car. My evening dinner date was cancelled anyway. My car was a write-off. I don't know what happened to the other car but luckily the other driver was ok. Lucky for them and me they were -  I could have killed somebody else. It was a classic and common accident of a car turning right at the lights and being hit by oncoming traffic. That's why you should always go slowly through the lights in case another driver creates an obstruction. You could argue that I went too slowly but it wasn't the car speed which was too slow it was my reactions were too slow.
Two morals to this story:
1 Don't leave things to the last moment, the last night - finish important tasks the week before.
2 Never drive if you are overtired - nothing is more important than your safety. If you are tired or drunk, just say you feel too ill to drive safely. Get a train or taxi, ask somebody else to drive or stay home.
Back to the theme - sleep - learn to organise life so you do not need to stay up late to finish work or revise for exams. Get two good night's sleep before driving on any major road.

Need to know - the native language in hospital

A Mexican native who does not speak Spanish leaves the nurse and gives birth on the lawn, if I understand correctly. And it's not the first time this or something similar has happened.
Possible solutions:
1 Send children to bilingual schools.  At primary level mother and child or parents and child should learn a second or the main national language together.
2 Get teachers of bilingual classes to ask pupils to translate sentences about real problems. Donate hospitals, doctors and police and fire stations a series of pages with translations of local languages. Nurses and patients can point to the questions and answers.
3 Give any expectant mother access to a translator who will supply a page of fAQ.
4 Have volunteer translators at the end of a phone.

Angela Lansbury Travel writer, specialising in food, wine, museums and culture

Please read my blogs for the latest top tips and tipples for your trips:

Top Tips on Tipples - on food and drink - drink with food, food with drink
on interesting, unusual and healthy food and wines,

Top  Tips on Travel
travel tips for your travel trips, and insights into other cultures.

Top Tips on Learning Languages
Tips to help you to learn languages! Where to learn. Memory aids.

Angela Lansbury
Top Tips 4 Trips

Poetry, Comedy, Doggerel on Gravestones At Great Bedwyn

 Before driving back to London from our stay in Little Bedwyn, we indulged in a spot of sightseeing, allowing an hour to drive up the road to find Great Bedwyn, where quaint houses surrounded the old station. An even greater delight for history buffs and photographers is in Great Bedwyn shopping area, where opposite the church a relief sculpture of the Last Supper adorns on the side of the  post office. At ground level the post office is walled with headstones dated 1704 and 1802, presumably saved from a church. Several stones displayed amusing doggerel about the departed.
***
'Here lies John Higgs
A famous man for killing pigs ...
His knife is laid His work is Done
I hope to Heaven his Soul has Gone.'
***
From 1817:
***
In memory of James Culley who died March 4.1817 Aged 64 Years.
My Breath was short my Labour hard
While on the Earth I did remain
But now the Lord hath taken me
From all earthly Labour Grief and Pain.
***
Here Lies of Late the Landlord of the Lion
Departed Hence to be with Zion
The Son inclined to his earhly Will
And carries on the Business still.
***
Curiously, the stonemason has carved double sized capital letters for the words he wants to emphasize.
I foresee a great future career for myself, writing poems for gravestones. Alas nowadays the jobsworths are making rules confining the wording of gravestones to cliches form the bible. Jealous nobodies will not allow even a comment on the job or foibles of a rival dead person. So nothing complimentary nor amusing is allowed about the individual whose memory the loved ones wish to preserve. In the good old days, the headstone's doggerel acted as an attraction-gaining advertising for one's family. The rhyme preserved the memory and the individual personality.
Maybe one could bypass the graveyard censors' system by installing one's gravestone on a post office. A nice little earner for the post office. How about posters for obituaries? I feel another novelty career sprouting in my brain. At least I can write my own here and now and enjoy a chuckle to share with you:

Comic Obituary For Angela
by Angela Lansbury BA Hons

Here is a rhyme an author wrote
Hoping that she would be of note
So that when fate has called her home
If her gravestone is bare, alone
She can be sure none will forget
Her last words on the internet
She wrote ten books, more words to please
For a free sample, copy these.
Angela Lansbury
Writer of comic verse

The Pelican Inn, Froxfield, Wiltshire, and Delightful Ducks

The Pelican inn is easy to find on the old London to Bath main road, now the A4, with parking conveniently both sides. Froxfield, not fox field but Froxfield. I like to think of maidens in frocks photographed against a backdrop field, not noticing the watching fox. The village is between Hungerford (unfortunately well known for the modern times Hungerford massacre), and Marlborough, known to most as the name of school, to some as the name of a brand of cigarettes.

Froxfield's the Pelican is a free house with wifi and its leaflet claims that it attracts walkers. It is also on the little of venues for overnight stays for those indulging in the nearby Michelin starred restaurant The Harrow, which has an interesting wine cellar and holds dinners with talks by visitors from vineyards as far away as Australia, which is what attracted my family to the area.

The Pelican inn takes its name from the Pelican omnibus which used to stop outside the door. We stopped and parked in one of the two car parks on either side.
Walk into the inn and there's reception in the centre between the bar and the open sided restaurant room.
The place is small, fewer than ten dining tables downstairs, probably because there are fewer than ten bedrooms upstairs.
Yes, it's an old inn, with old beams and creaking floors.

I puffed anxiously up the steep staircase, clinging on to the left hand wooden handrail, fearing endless stairs, but there's only one staircase.
We three had booked two bedrooms. Bedroom numbers go up to eight, so three of us occupied a quarter of the rooms. Statistically that makes me a pretty good inspector. I chose the room overlooking the duck pond. Not sure whether the pond links to the stream, but the ducks soon sailed into view of my busy mobile phone camera lens.

In the basic bathrooms I pounded gleefully on the cute complimentary shower get and other liquids - but found no soap.I realised that those clumpsy looking (sic) Victorian taps with the cross tops are the handiest things to turn if you don't know left from right and can't remember whether taps go clockwise or anti-clockwise. I  needed a firm wrench at it because I sealed it tight by turning the wrong way.

The room is small which explains the tiny double beds which leave more room to walk around. Visual appeal provided by cute cushions. British hotels tend to go for bland decor.
 If you like healthy food and fresh milk, you will enjoy the thermos of fresh milk on the tea tray. I've found that only in a two or three hotels in a lifetime of travelling worldwide. So, if you hate sachets of long life so called milk, you will instantly enthuse about the bedroom facilities.

 My family booked two rooms. Mama gets to choose. I wanted the one overlooking the back garden, tree tops seen when you lie on the bed, and duck pond viewed on tiptoe from the window.
Duck pond? Where are the ducks. Just an immobile statue. Ah - as I watched a duck sailed into view and I clicked my mobile phone camera.

Next morning I was glad to learn that the front bedroom overlooking the road did not keep anybody awake at night. Our sound sleeper said if you live in Hendon or Notting Hill, you expect to be woken once a week by drunks, fights, emergency vehicles, and learn to go back to sleep and ignore any noise. That's right.

It's a good thing I was not still lurching drunk at dawn next morning, facing the steep descent down the stairs, with only one fixed solid handrail stuck to the wall, now on my other side. One member of my family is right-handed, another left-handed, so that handrail could not please everybody.
But at the bottom of the stairs I was greeted by a welcome sight facing me, breakfast was ready, already, the table of cereals.

From my dining table I ducked down to look through the fireplace to the bar area beyond. Well-spoken regulars sat near us, but no need to ask them what to do in the area. I'd already read the leaflets telling me that the local attraction was a windmill. No more clutter - no more leaflets!
We saw a signpost to the windmill and followed it but soon got lost in winding roads one car wide. I wished I'd taken the inn's leaflet on the windmill and its postcode. So I've mentally saved the windmill as something  to see on another visit to the nearby Harrow restaurant at Little Bedwyn.

The Pelican inn's bill is a good antidote to the pricey prices of your dinner round the corner for celebrations such as an anniversary at the Harrow. Last time we splurged on the Harrow we stayed overnight at The Bear in Hungerford. The Bear is bigger,  more of an all jumping hotel, but the Pelican offers a nearer and good value alternative.
I never saw the windmill, nor a pelican, only a few ducks.
Quack, quack, quack, I'll go back.

But wait - there's more - about the pelican and the ducks. After enjoying a sniff of the aromatic mandarin and bargamot shampoo bottle, I took a last look at the little 30 ml bottle in the revealing bright light of day.
I noticed the black silhouette of a pelican on the front. Another pelican was raised in relief on the cap.
The title DUCK ISLAND was printed sideways. By dint of a squint, holding the bottle up against a white background, I discovered in small print the website: www.duckisland.co.uk

The bottle gives the toiletries company address as
Duck Island Ltd
51 Queen Anne Street
London W1G 9HS.

More details about

The Pelican inn from
www.pelicanann.co.uk
www.facebook.com/pelicaninnfroxfield
The Pelican Inn, 
Bath Road, 
Froxfield, 
Marlborough, 
Wiltshire 
SN8 3JY. 
Tel: 01488 682479.
Angela Lansbury BA Hons is the author of twenty books on travel, etiquette, public speaking and comic poetry. She is a member of two Toastmasters International speakers' clubs, also on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and YouTube.

Chinese USA and uk tourist manners

Which tourists annoy the locals and why, which natives annoy the travellers and why, and how can we improve service? I can explain the problem with tipping. China and Singapore ban tipping. An employee can lose their job if they accept a tip which is seen as a bribe designed to enable the immoral tipper to jump the queue.  Staff are paid wages by the employer and not expected to take tips. If you try to tip it is also deemed as condescending and patronising, saying I'm a successful person and you are a poor struggling soul.

I'm a friendly person but I like the no tipping or 10 per cent optional charge. No delay at the end. No obligation to round up. 

Serrata - family run 'Turkish influenced' restaurant in NW London

Hatch End, 'restaurant capital of North West London' said one of our local paper, has lost Hatchets but gained Serrata. The name means saw-toothed or saw-like in Latin, but they created it by merging the names of two family members.
When is it open? For lunch and dinner. If you can't wait for dinner time, and you are on a budget, the Lunch and early evening menu says: Select a starter and a main course for £11.95.
Great friendly people greeted me. A pity that they can't open in the afternoon because of family commitments.
The small restaurant, recently open in August 2013, was busy on a drizzly September Monday evening despite the dark echoing floor, which looked like lino to me. (I dare say it's practical and clean, but I prefer a warm coloured carpet.)
I decided to look at their menu online and choose my next meal.
The menu includes starters such as: falafel, crispy duck, melon with smoked salmon or prawn. Prices range from £4.50 for soup of the day to £9.95 for king prawns. I just bought falafel in Tesco Express, so I'll opt for melon with smoked salmon.
Main courses include classics such as chicken, calves liver, duck, lamb shank, and fillet or ribeye steak served with potato and season veg. Prices frange from £12.95 for chicken, to £18.95 for fillet steak with fat chips. Meat free options include musakka.
Desserts feature baklava, cheesecake, bread and butter pudding, three scoops ice cream for £4.85, either the healthier sounding option of mango sorbet, or pistachio ice cream, or vanilla. May I have one of each please. Fancy something different? Not stuffed dates but stuffed dried apricots and prunes, filled with mascarpone cheese and rolled in walnuts.
Their opening hours are lunch time 12-2.30, evenings from 6 pm. According to their website they are closed Monday lunch.
One page on their website tells the story of Mrs Beeton, whose house was on this location. You could sit at the restaurant table using your handphone to read the Serrata website and Mrs Isabella Beeton's story, a great topic of conversation.
I was horrified to learn that a German bomb destroyed this historic landmark. Here, right in the centre of peaceful rose garden suburbs of Hatch End. Then and now, Hatch End is far from the bomb sites I recall seeing as a child, bombed out buildings in the East End of London near the docks, Commercial Road and industrial areas. I'd actually been thinking how far from Mrs Beeton's English recipes were the varied European restaurants in this locality today. But the website fondly assumes that Mrs Beeton is forever a benign presence, or memory. They like to think she would have smiled kindly on a family run restaurant. What would she have thought of Turkish coffee? (£2.50.)
Location, Uxbridge Road, Hatch End, Pinner, Middlesex
Tel: 0208 428 9973.
More information from
www.serrata.co.uk
email them at info@serrata.co.uk

CAPITALS or Capitals?

In school in the UK we were taught that only five-year-olds use capital letters for emphasis. The same goes for using more than one exclamation mark. It is not correct, professional, businesslike.

A legal document or court report would not use multiple quotation marks.

A BBC report, like a business report, used to stick to facts. Rhetoric and repetition of words and phrases or  was left to politicians making speeches. Repetition of punctuation marks was not used by adults.

To a coolly detached, impersonal reader who has not yet formed an impartial judgement, multiple exclamation marks and sudden jumps into capital letters are annoying and distracting and suggest that the reporter is carried away by emotion and not giving a news story but an opinion piece, not even a well-argued opinion piece but a rant.

It is not for the newsreader to comment that an event is hilarious or tragic. The comedy awards presenter can say that the no 1 joke of the festival is "hilarious". The family can describe the loss of their loved one as "a tragedy". A news report simply states who, what, where, when, why. The accidental death of an unconvicted, alleged 'murderer', in bizarre circumstances might be a tragedy to their family, a comedy to bystander, a triumph of justice to a third person such as a victim, but a newspaper reporter is like to cause outrage by saying so.  The news report should give the facts without emotion. 

Comment should come evenly from both sides in a court case or any other report.

Punctuation around the world and double and single quotation marks

QUOTATION MARKS?
In the 'good old days', good in my opinion, I learned English from traditional books at school. My view on punctuation was reinforced when I trained as a journalist in the UK.  

Double Quotation Marks

Traditional punctuation dictated that books, newspaper headlines and handwriting used double quotation marks for quoting a conversation. So you used double quotation marks when reporting the exact words of a defendant in a court case; but you used single quotations for the editor or reporter's comment.

Therefore, James said it was an "accident" means he actually used the word accident. If you describe it as an 'accident', or an alleged accident, you are giving the defendant the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise you are prejudicing the reader. The defendant may ask to be judged in a different city or country or by jurors who have not read the newspaper. he or she might even claim that the case should be dismissed because there cannot be a fair trial after 'trial by media'

Single Quotation Marks

A single quotation shows the editors comment, that we have summarized what he said to get in in a headline, paraphrased what he said, or deduced what he implied, or what we inferred from some other statement. Single quotations are also used to distinguish and separate other items which are not reported speech, such as book titles.

Quotations

For example, "The book everybody should buy," says the author, or the reviewer. (Quoted words.)
The book, 'Everybody Should Buy', is now top of the book charts. (Title of book.)

The book 'Everybody should buy' is selling well. (Book title.)
'The Book' everybody is talking about ... (Praise.)

"He claims it was an 'accident' but we know better." (Here the single quotation is both a quotation within a quotation and sarcasm.

American Punctuation

However, some time at the end of the 20th century or the first two decades of the 21st century, American fashions took over the printed world. Punctuation is reduced to save space and time. the single quotation key on the far right keyboard does not require the use of the shift key, unlike the double quotation mark above it.

The Harrow Writers' Circle issued instructions for its competitions on the new system of single quotation marks for speech, with double quotation marks used to identify a quotation within a quotation.

Double Quotation Marks

In the 'good' old days, when single quotation marks suggested sarcasm by the writer, or a viewpoint of the general public, headlines were clearer. Italics were used to distinguish titles of books. Italics were used to emphasize a word within a quotation.

Newspapers

But now, alas, the single quotation mark is becoming common. The style books of the major newspapers and publishing houses producing books and brochures and leaflets must be promoting it. For the sake of consistency, and modernity, I shall probably have to follow the trend. it would be too confusing for me as a writer and for my readers to see two sets of punctuation produced at the same time. 

The Internet

The internet means that what I write in London is read in the USA and Singapore. What I write in Singapore is read in London and the USA. What I write in the USA is read in Singapore and London. I used to feel annoyed and insulted when Singaporean school pupils, who had previously been under the UK education system, and were still doing O level, marked by UK examiners, tried to tell me that they were using the correct spelling and punctuation because they had copied the US films and reports on the internet. 

Now I am on a see-saw. One more straw on the see-saw and I shall land with a thump, shocked and surprised, on the side of the single comma, while my two friends on the other side, two of them on the double quotation side, look aghast.

No! I have just read a very confusing newspaper headline, which leaves me wondering whether I should go it alone and return to the old system in my self-published books.
Your comments would be appreciated.

Worse still, I have discovered that several European countries think they are in Australia and hang the quotation marks upside down at the start of the sentence. 

Who? The Dutch.Not double Dutch but single Dutch and upside down Dutch.

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quotation_mark

Please share links to your favourite posts.

Keep Doors Shut In Public Buildings

A child allegedly leaves a nursery school and walks home, via busy roads, past a pub, near a canal and through a wood. How did she get out? Somebody left a door open.
Workers can leave open doors and windows.
Is there a sign on the door warning people to shut it?
All places where there are children (or adults with Alzheimer's and hospital wards) should have a sign saying:
Keep door shut at all times
to prevent
children/vulnerable adults wandering out
and unauthorised adults entering.'

Travel Safely - Road Safety and Park Safety

A mother and child were killed by a park vehicle in the USA. The driver allegedly ran away.


1 Can't understand people who run away. My first instinct seeing an injury is to get help. I was passenger in a car which hit a jaywalker who changed direction. He ran out into the middle of the road then tried to run back to the kerb in Asia. We stopped. I ran around screaming at bystanders to use a phone and call an ambulance.
2 Every vehicle driver should have a test in which they are required to reiterate the correct procedure in the case of an accident.
3 Areas where vehicles operate should be taped off away from the public.
4 Vehicles operating in parks and walking areas should have a 'going forward' bleep, distinct from a reversing vehicle bleep.
5 Vehicles should have loudhailers or announcement systems asking people sitting or lying or palying or standing on lawns to move to seats while vehicles operate nearby.
It's a good idea to note the numbers of other countries' emergency services. Often there are different numbers for fire, police, ambulance; local police for non-emergencies, and in Singapore reporting noise nuisance.

Buying Real and Imitation Silk

I am happy to buy 'Thai silk' some of which is not real silk but silky soft with a lovely sheen and flattering fit. The fabric looks glamorous. It is easy to look after, does not get dirty, but can be washed. It does not crease easily. It is not see-through. It looks expensive.

I recently bought a pure silk item from an ebay seller. It was lined and stretchy but did not look classy and had no label.

I wrote back to the seller: What makes you think it is silk? If so, 100%, 50% Imitation? Silk-like? What evidence do you have that it is silk?

I looked up the tests which seem to be setting fire to the item - in a safe place - not in your house - not where vegetation can catch fire - and without destroying the object but extracting threads - all things which I do not wish to do!

The seller said she had it hand-made overseas for a daughter's wedding. I'll show examples of silk I have seen in shops and which you can buy from catalogues or on ebay.


1 Noil silk is bobbly. It feels rough. What's the point? (If you like it, it's available from Patra, who also do other silks of all kinds.)

2 Stiff, heavy genuine Thai silk, with uneven threads, used for boxy jackets. Expensive. Label Jim Thomson.

3 Heavy silk.

4 Silk mixed with cotton.

5 Silk mixed with elastane to give stretch.

6 Fine silk used for scarves and light dresses. Flows well. Can cling. Fragile - fabric easily torn. garments can be pulled apart at the hems as you pull garments on and off.

Caftans in silk fabric with oriental flower patterns, sold in Singapore. Some dresses are silk, some a good imitation. Look at the label or ask the seller.

Thai 'silk' with lovely sheen - my favourite. 

Gold and silver tops.

Patra in the UK has a catalogue and website. Noil silk is bobbly.

You can buy Thai 'silk' in dark colours or bright colours with contrasting gold. 

You can buy tops sleeveless or with short or long sleeves, jackets, dresses, fishermen's wraparound trousers with bell bottoms, matching top and skirt outfits, or try to order sets, but each batch is different even from the same supplier as the factories may vary or be hand-dyeing. Some of the gold sets are sold as 'wedding' outfits.

7 Imitation 'Thai' silk. Stiffer. From Northern tribes with an oval all over pattern. Classy.

8 Some have a great sheen and are mixed with gold for wrap skirts. Gold elephants can be repeating pattern all over or in a band at the hem. Elephants are the Thai Symbol. (My joke: A buyer never forgets!)

9 Silk velvet can be either a mix, such as a flat pure silk, or silk base mix fabric, with other fibre inserted, or entirely silk. Silk velvet is often devore, or cut-out, with a pattern in the velvet and sheer fabric making it light and pretty.

10 The softest silk I've found is sand-washed silk.

Safe driving. Safe speed.

I read that people are racing around cities in the USA as if they were race tracks.
The speed limits are there for a reason. In built up areas you stay below 30 mph because a person hit at that speed will be injured but may survive. Drive faster and you will kill any pedestrian you hit. (In addition to endangering yourself.)

Some reckless people speed around in cars at night.
Just watch the Singapore video or the slide show of the Ferrari racing across the lights, hitting a taxi and flipping, killing the mainland Chinese Ferrari car driver, the Singaporean taxi driver,  and Japanese taxi passenger.
Comments include (I paraphrase for grammar, good taste, and sense), 'Your car is not the only car on the road." Another comment says, pause at a green light to be sure the road is clear, even if you have right of way.
   
Have you been to Disney and seen the video of the car racing downhill as the woman steps out with the
pram?

If this a speeding driver is out, keep your cat locked up at home at night.What happens when a pedestrian who is drunk or high on drugs lurches out?
Ever if Speedy were an expert (which I don't accept as an excuse) what happens if some other driver copies the trick next week and kills one person, or twenty?

Thirty something flat-sharing guy seeks gal for marriage

You are sharing with room-mates? Where are you planning to put a wife and two kids? How do you plan to support her if she has to stay home with a baby or handicapped child or threatened miscarriage.

Most people I know have their own room or flat at 25. Your girlfriend's sister met an estate agent who had a house and car and takes her out to dinner. Your girlfriend is embarrassed to admit her date was coffee with a guy with no job prospects or plans and just when she felt romantic your room-mate turned up.

Here's an idea. Hold some regular get togethers. Start a club or join a club and aim to be the president. Tennis, speakers groups (Toastmasters International). Learn to play bridge and have bridge games for four or eight.

Go to an evening class where you meet members of the opposite sex. Dancing.

Hold some dinner parties with suitable marriage-minded girls and guys. Each of the guys should tell a girl that his male friend wants to get married. The first couple to get married invite all the other singles to be bridesmaids and ushers.

AutoGRAMMAR

AutoGRAMMAR will be useful to most of us. I admit it's helpful to recognise those who cannot use a dictionary nor spellchecker. But most of those who don't bother to use spellchecker won't use AutoGrammar either, so the dim-witted, lazy and grammar accident-prone will still be identified.
 I like the reader's comment about 'get' (meaning fetch) a drink, and 'have' (meaning obtain) a  drink. I had never previously noticed that 'error'.

Could Marilyn Monroe Have Become First Lady?

If Kennedy had married Monroe he would have been the most popular President in the USA, and worldwide. But maybe Marilyn would have been a distraction causing jealousy.
Why is a film star becoming first ladyt so far fetched an idea? Princess Grace of Monaco had been a film star, filmed in the nude. President Reagan was a film star.

Feeding foxes, cats and rats

Problem
1 You like foxes.
2 You hate rats.

Answer
1 Leave out food for foxes.
2 Don't leave out food for rats.

We have foxes. Georgia Weston, secretary of Harrow Writers, and presenter-trainer on Harrow Community Radio, points out that if you leave food in the garden all night for foxes or cats, and hedgehogs, you may also be feeding rats.

Foxes eat rats but rats breed faster than foxes. Foxes produce 7-10 a year, whilst rats can produce hundreds. That is why you conceal food for chickens in a raised container or something they need to tread on to keep away rats.

You can tell when foxes have urinated, says Georgia, because the smell is so strong.
Foxes are more inclined to walk or wander into your house if you have attracted them and taught them not to be afraid. They can be bringing in lice and ticks and fleas. You can treat dogs, but not wild animals. Yuk.

We were so pleased with our fox pictures. But we are not feeding the foxes.

A fox in our back garden UK

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and YouTube. Like my posts and share them. Thanks.

I think I swallowed a gold filling. Does anybody have a metal detector?

• Gillian Clancy, Judy Otway and Geraldine Smith like this.
• 

  Judy Otway Lol!

  Yesterday at 22:51 · Like
• 

  Carol Fenlon ha ha, you'll be on poo watch then?

  10 hours ago · Like
• 

  Angela Lansbury Yes being the world's only expert on this subject, I can write a short book. Chapter One. At home: Utensils, rubber gloves, pail, magnifying glass, sieve, rolling pin .. Chapter Two; In a railway carriage ... Do you think I could use this as subject for a humorous speech. Somebody wrote a book called How To Shit In The Woods which I bought in the USA at a national park bookshop. The shop assistant said it was their best selling book. I could be on TV with this one.