Escapism - Travel To Escape Threats, Bad Memories, and illness - Getting Out and Back Quickly

Let's start with the worst case scenario, needing fast action.

Threats

What can you do to escape danger? In some countries such as the UK and USA you can take out a restraining order. However, this does not always succeed.

 When somebody is trying to kill you, or your child, you could take your child on a holiday to a foreign country and then change hotels. Take a trip from there to a different country. 

Before sending a letter or making a phone call, you could go across the border to an adjoining country for the day. So that your location is not known or traceable. Rent your home to somebody who does not speak English who looks of a different race. 

Witnesses

What if you cannot leave the country because you are needed in a court case?

1 In some cases it is possible to give evidence by video link from a separate room.

To avoid danger, to save the cost of travel, and missing work or medical appointments, you may be able to give evidence by video link from another country. I remember this being done in Singapore.

2 Your country might organize a witness protection scheme.

Changing Identity

You could change your name by deed poll.

You could adopt a pen name or professional name.

You could change to a shorter name, from Alexander to Alec or Al.

You could change back to your longer name, from |Al to Alexander.

You could alter the spelling of your name, eg from Jane to Jayne, or from Jayne to Jane.

You could marry somebody and take their family name.

You can change your email from your name to your status or profession. eg from John Smith at the Company to Treasurer at The Company.

Moving permanently overseas

Since Brexit you have to consider several legal and financial questions 

1 Do you have the right to reside overseas permanently?

2 Can you buy property overseas?

3 Can you receive your pension overseas?

4 Can you avoid paying tax in two countries?

The cheapest form of accommodation is often camping. 

If wartime or security causes your holiday, or return flight to be cancelled, and you need to return home for work, children's schooling, consider whether you can hop countries. You might use budget airline, private plane, taxi, bus, ferry, hire car, shared expense car. You could start a whatsapp group for all the passengers on a stranded plane, which cannot fly because the crew are over their flying hours limit.

To leave or return in a hurry, you could even buy an old or new car and sell it at the destination.

Useful Websites

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15793521/Mother-died-Bristol-explosion-hailed-hero-saving-child-seconds-gangster-ex-boyfriends-grenade-

https://www.college.police.uk/app/prosecution-and-case-management/victim-and-witness-care

https://www.myexpattaxes.com/

https://www.singaporelawwatch.sg/About-Singapore-Law/Civil-Practice-ADR/requirements-of-foreign-jurisdictions-on-the-taking-of-evidence-given-voluntarily-by-way-of-live-video-link-from-a-witness-located-in-their-jurisdiction-in-civil-proceedings-before-singapore-courts

Dorset ballad: the Cerne Abbas giant, the wedding wish granted, and ghosts!

Short story writer Della Galton asked for a Dorset song for her book. She meant us to look for one. Instead, I wrote one. First I checked out the local landmarks, which I found on the county website. Where is Dorset? On England's south-west coast.

Dorset with a coast in Southern England, UK

Cerne Abbas Giant, Dorset, England.

The Cerne Abbas giant, a figure cut into the chalk through the grass. This well-known local landmark was one of the items I sought to see last time I drove through Dorset on my way to the coves of Cornwall.

St Catherine's Chapel on the hilltop, from afar. 

On my first to Dorset I did not know about the legend. On my last visit to Dorset, I was with my husband, who was not keen on the idea of St Catherine helping you find a husband. 

If I had known, I would have gone there. Huff, puff uphill for the view - and St Catherine's Chapel outside from the hilltop

Finally, a haunted house. Athelhampton.


Athelhampton Hall House in Dorset, England, UK

I was ready to write a ballad.

I wrote:
Here you are. I checked local landmarks and legends online. Here's an ancient Dorset song, from 8.50 April 21st 2020, by Angela Lansbury. It starts


:I went to St Catherine's Chapel,
For it's said she will answer your prayer,
'Please send me a husband, who's wealthy'
But only two poor men were there.

One of them said to me, 'Darling,
Why don't we go for a walk?
I'll take you to see the great giant -
Whose ample physique is carved in the chalk!'

I said, 'Sorry, dear, you're not for me
For you're poor as a little church mouse.'
To scare him away, I ended the day
At haunted Athel-hampton House!

Mother said, 'Our sensible God only helps
A person with skills who will help himself.
You can add up a bill and read lots of books
What else does a man need to share health and wealth?

'You're young and pretty but age fades your looks
What's missing, that's lasting? You must learn to cook!'
So off I went, to take cooking lessons
Guess who I married? I married the cook!

We went to the chapel to marry
'Cos Saint Catherine had answered my prayers
What's more she provided as witness
Those two ragged beggars, still hoping there.

Weddings also take place in the big haunted house
Guest often hear 'ghosts'. I guess that's a mouse!
Guests, sleepless as mice, claim, 'A ghost moved my bedding!'
'Who's the bride in your garden?' 'Ma'am, we've no wedding!'

-ends-


Useful and Entertaining Websites For the armchair traveller
https://www.hauntedrooms.co.uk/haunted-places/england
https://www.athelhampton.com/copy-of-history

Author, Author! About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. (Not related to the actress.) See books and profiles on Lulu.com and Amazon, such as Wedding Speeches & Toasts, Quick Quotations, Who Said What When. Also watch videos on YouTube.
See other posts on singers and statues and languages and destinations.

Please share links to your favourite posts.
If you want to learn to speak the Queen's English, or Received Pronunciation. join me at my online toastmasters club, Braddell Heights Advanced. Wednesdays, 7-9 Singapore time which is seven hours ahead of London, England. I am also a member of Singapore Online.

How To Prepare For Weddings and Jewish Weddings

A few more thoughts on weddings, and Jewish weddings.
Apart from the usual drsses of the bride and mother of the bride and groom, and the flowers at the venue, and the wedding canopy, one item to admire is the bride's ketubah or marriage document.

The writing looks like Hebrew. It is written not in Hebrew but in Aramaic, which was the language of the poeple at the time of Jesus, pre-dating modern Hebrew and modern Arabic.

Ketubah from Yale University, USA. I found this picture in Wikipedia under Jewish weddings. The photo is in the public domain.

WEDDING LIST?

Will you have a wedding list or provide your joint bank account details?

VIDEO

Will you have a video and record the speeches and a few words from both sets of parents? 

MUSICAL RECORD

Will you video a moment or two of singing or music playing by any talented family members? (Years later it might be your only video of them playing.)

GRACE

Do we need to know how to sing grace before and after meals with the rabbi. Which tune?

TABOOS AND OBLIGATIONS?

Any Orthodox or other rules we should know about? Groom's family sit on left? Women sit separately, upstairs, behind barrier? Such as not shaking hands with the rabbi? Not eating before grace said by rabbi. Nor interrupting the bride reading her prayers before the ceremony?

Signing by a rabbi.
Photo by Meshulam in Wikipedia under Jewish Weddings.

Signing
Signing as witness with our Hebrew names? Not signing as witness because we are closely related?

Women and Dancing
Not dancing before the couple start the dance? Women not entering area reserved for men?

Timing
Give all guests directions from the wedding ceremony to the reception. You might find that a car leaves and a person gets left behind because they went to the toilet or could not find the designated car in the car park or could not find the person with the directions or did not hear the announcement of the venue.

If you have the reception at the same venue, five minutes is not enough time to allow people to proceed from the wedding ceremony to dinner.

Firstly, the ceremony could run late. Secondly people disappear to the toilet or stop to chat, stop to read noticeboards, make phone calls - even go out to the street to smoke a cigarette, get lost, one hundered people wait in line to read the seating plan and cross the room looking for their table, stopping to chat on the way.

Thirdly, a queue (Americans say line-up) to allow the Toastmasters to get announcement of each guest enterting the room and/or shaking hands with the bride and groom. Some will only stop half a minute to whispering congratulations. But a few will hand over envelopes or ask where to leave a gift, explain how they are related, add other queries, say why their spouse cannot atend or will be late, and tell their life story.

STANDING AND SEATING

Where do I stand or sit in the ceremony? Do the mothers of the couple escort the bride in? Is there a ceremony rehearsal or floor plan?  Do I have to say or read anything in Hebrew at any time? If so bring it to me so I can practise it.

Tips
Location and parking
We looked up the synagogue on google to see if we could work out the route and whether parking was available. That reminded us to ask about parking. On the internet I've seen wedding cars as well as funeral cars getting parking tickets, so it's as well to know the situation in advance and plan getting permission to park.

For security reasons access to the website is restricted and you have to log in with an email and password.

Angela Lansbury
Author and travel writer.

Who can be a wedding witness? Who can officiate? How Does A Wedding Certificate Affect Travel?

Whether you are marrying locally or travelling to another country, you will want a wedding document to be signed by witnesses?

The answer is not as straightforward as you think. I advise you to check.

Jewish
I was at a UK wedding, a Jewish wedding, where the witness was a member of the family, the best man and cousin of the groom. This caused a delay at the signing, which meant everybody was hanging around waiting to drive off to the reception and meal.

Muslim and Arab
In some places you may be considered betrothed or married without a written document. (Arab countries? Equally you could be divorced without a written document.)

At one time you could not book a hotel room together in some countries unless you were legally married. So a common law husband and wife would not be granted the right to a hotel room on holiday. The employer would not give an allowance for married accommodation.

Translation
It would seem sensible to require a translation of the document. How do you know what you are signing, an agreement to marry, change your religion, a mortgage, a will leaving all your goods to your spouse and their children by other persons after you die?

Civil Requirements
In some countries you can have a religious ceremony and certificate without a civil certificate. In others you are required to have the civil certificate before, or after, the religious ceremony. You may wish to have both, either to please parents, or to ensure that your marriage is recognised by both religious and civil authorities in the case of divorce or any other legal question such as inheritance.

You might also find a document useful, for example, to get immigration to another country, to prove the lineage of your children who are claiming citizenship. If you wanted to go to Israel, or to Spain under the right of return, you might find a marriage document of parents useful later for the children.

Travel and Marriage Certificates
You might also find documents of marriage helpful for obtaining a second passport, or waiver for visa when taking a holiday.

In the UK in 2019 different rules apply to different religions. In the USA different rules apply in different States.

If you are travelling, you may need documents providing evidence of your identity such as passport, birth certificate, divorce certificate, evidence of home address.

In some places a relative cannot be a witness as they are considered an interested party. In some places the officiant can be a witness. In others he or she signs and requires two others to be witnesses. In some places you can just invite two passers-by to witness.

The moral of the story is to find out in advance. This is handy with the modern habit of having two ceremonies, one religious and one civil. I have see two weddings in the home countries of bride and groom, even three ceremonies, in her home country, his, and the country where they met and have friends and colleagues.

In Singapore I performed a mock wedding ceremony, which I called a rehearsal, when the officiant was late at a wedding reception. The bride wanted photos taken in daylight in the garden. The groom said there was no point having a dinner to celebrate a marriage when no marriage had taken place.
Fortunately the bride got her photos in the sun with the groom, best man, maid of honour and the surrounding guests. The officiant turned up just as it turned dark and the meal was being served and he made the marriage official.

Next day I checked whether I could be an officiant in Singapore. It would have taken a year's study, investment of time and money, knowledge of assorted religions and laws, and I had other commitments.

A marriage document can also affect your right to a pension, to stay in a house after a spouse dies, to inherit from the spouse, to be buried beside them, to have them buried beside you rather than a previous spouse they have not divorced.

Laws may change and become more liberal, or more strict. Forewarned is forewarned. Your marriage certificate showing your wedding or anniversary might get you upgrades on an airline, a free drink or Champagne on the airline, or at your hotel. Happy travelling.

https://www.rabbilevh.com/single-post/2015/01/11/Who-Can-Sign-Your-Ketubah