"Don't get me started!"
Around the table at supper we all told our stories:
Airline Horror Stories
Everyone has a favourite airline and a favourite airline horror story. Walter prefers Easyjet to Ryanair. However, he complained, 'Luggage allowances are getting smaller and smaller. I was asked to pay for luggage. I had bought a cheap ticket with NO luggage allowance!' When dealing with an unknown airline, the moral is, check the luggage allowance.
I asked, 'What of the early days of plane travel? Was it always so much better?'
Walter said: 'Years ago we got on the plane and a family who had never travelled before got on with us. First they changed from their clothes into their night clothes. Then they unwrapped their cooker and prepared to light it to cook supper!
'I called an air hostess who came running to stop them.'
Nicky, a hotel owner warned us about the hazards of buying property abroad in Asia.
Warnings About Buying Property
Nicky said: 'I went to buy a property and I could see from the plan that it wasn't the area they claimed. When I asked the girl, she replied: "The common area outside the lifts is divided between the six flats on that level so that counts as part of your floor area."
'I then asked about the swimming pool. She said, "The residents can use it free for five years. After that you have to join the club owned by the management to use it." '
I asked Nicky, 'Have you heard the story about the hotel guest who mistook the bedroom door for the bathroom door and locked himself out - in the nude - in the hotel corridor! Do you think it's a true story?'
Nicky said, 'Of course it is. Lots of hotels have self-locking doors. If you have a hotel with fifty or a hundred rooms, somebody locks themselves out every day. Once a week somebody is in their underwear or semi-dressed. And every month or year somebody will be completely nude. This happens all over the world. What is surprising is that once somebody thought it wasn't a true story. You don't believe anybody was that naive, do you?'
Hotel Horrors
The Dead Body
The story goes that a man checked into a hotel, collected his key, and found a dead body in the bed. When the living guest returned to reception, the receptionist didn't seem the least bit bothered. He simply handed over another key and said, 'Try this room.'
I am told that deaths in hotels, as well as on planes and coaches, are something staff have to prepare for. You can cover a body with a blanket and pretend the dead person is sleeping or resting. Or move them behind a curtain, in first class. Or down into the crew sleeping area.
Hotels wheel out dead bodies, covered with cloths, like dinners, on the large dinner trollies for room service, or wheeled tabled used for conference catering.
When a relative of mine was in an old people's home we were asked to stay in the room with her for ten minutes. Later, I asked the supervisor why. She explained that they were wheeling out a dead body, not unusual in a home for the elderly, and wanted all the living in their bedrooms so as not to see and get upset.
Hospitals, in the UK, move bodies on covered trolleys in separate lifts to the basement.
The Wrong Key
In a New Orleans hotel I could not get the door to open. The bell-hop arrived with the luggage. He tried the key and the door opened, a man in a bath towel frowning.
I gasped, 'What are you doing? This is my room.'
He retorted, 'No it isn't. It's my room!'
The porter shrugged, resigned, 'Oh, no. They can't get the keys right. They do this to me all the time.'
Let me move on to lighter subjects.
Video Lost
A honeymoom couple returned and showed their video to the whole family, including me. The husband turned on the video and proudly announced, 'This is our honeymoon video.' The opening shots were blank. He wound on. Still blank. He wound on further. Still blank. He would to the end. Still blank.
It could have been a tragedy. Luckily one of the audience had a sense of humour. She said, 'It's all censored. You just have to imagine it!' She burst out laughing and soon the whole room was in hysterics.
Camera Catastrophes
Finally, a mixed blessing story. Tom dropped his camera on a stroll up a mountain near a friend's house in New Zealand. The pair retraced their steps several times but could not find it. A year later the New Zealand friend reported, 'I found your camera. It was broken and unusable but I have retrieved the memory card with all your holiday photos!'
As Shakespeare said, Alls's well that ends well.
About the Author Angela Lansbury
Travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please share links to your favourite posts. What are your favourite memories?
Around the table at supper we all told our stories:
Airline Horror Stories
Everyone has a favourite airline and a favourite airline horror story. Walter prefers Easyjet to Ryanair. However, he complained, 'Luggage allowances are getting smaller and smaller. I was asked to pay for luggage. I had bought a cheap ticket with NO luggage allowance!' When dealing with an unknown airline, the moral is, check the luggage allowance.
I asked, 'What of the early days of plane travel? Was it always so much better?'
Walter said: 'Years ago we got on the plane and a family who had never travelled before got on with us. First they changed from their clothes into their night clothes. Then they unwrapped their cooker and prepared to light it to cook supper!
'I called an air hostess who came running to stop them.'
Nicky, a hotel owner warned us about the hazards of buying property abroad in Asia.
Warnings About Buying Property
Nicky said: 'I went to buy a property and I could see from the plan that it wasn't the area they claimed. When I asked the girl, she replied: "The common area outside the lifts is divided between the six flats on that level so that counts as part of your floor area."
'I then asked about the swimming pool. She said, "The residents can use it free for five years. After that you have to join the club owned by the management to use it." '
I asked Nicky, 'Have you heard the story about the hotel guest who mistook the bedroom door for the bathroom door and locked himself out - in the nude - in the hotel corridor! Do you think it's a true story?'
Nicky said, 'Of course it is. Lots of hotels have self-locking doors. If you have a hotel with fifty or a hundred rooms, somebody locks themselves out every day. Once a week somebody is in their underwear or semi-dressed. And every month or year somebody will be completely nude. This happens all over the world. What is surprising is that once somebody thought it wasn't a true story. You don't believe anybody was that naive, do you?'
Hotel Horrors
The Dead Body
The story goes that a man checked into a hotel, collected his key, and found a dead body in the bed. When the living guest returned to reception, the receptionist didn't seem the least bit bothered. He simply handed over another key and said, 'Try this room.'
I am told that deaths in hotels, as well as on planes and coaches, are something staff have to prepare for. You can cover a body with a blanket and pretend the dead person is sleeping or resting. Or move them behind a curtain, in first class. Or down into the crew sleeping area.
Hotels wheel out dead bodies, covered with cloths, like dinners, on the large dinner trollies for room service, or wheeled tabled used for conference catering.
When a relative of mine was in an old people's home we were asked to stay in the room with her for ten minutes. Later, I asked the supervisor why. She explained that they were wheeling out a dead body, not unusual in a home for the elderly, and wanted all the living in their bedrooms so as not to see and get upset.
Hospitals, in the UK, move bodies on covered trolleys in separate lifts to the basement.
The Wrong Key
In a New Orleans hotel I could not get the door to open. The bell-hop arrived with the luggage. He tried the key and the door opened, a man in a bath towel frowning.
I gasped, 'What are you doing? This is my room.'
He retorted, 'No it isn't. It's my room!'
The porter shrugged, resigned, 'Oh, no. They can't get the keys right. They do this to me all the time.'
Let me move on to lighter subjects.
Video Lost
A honeymoom couple returned and showed their video to the whole family, including me. The husband turned on the video and proudly announced, 'This is our honeymoon video.' The opening shots were blank. He wound on. Still blank. He wound on further. Still blank. He would to the end. Still blank.
It could have been a tragedy. Luckily one of the audience had a sense of humour. She said, 'It's all censored. You just have to imagine it!' She burst out laughing and soon the whole room was in hysterics.
Camera Catastrophes
Finally, a mixed blessing story. Tom dropped his camera on a stroll up a mountain near a friend's house in New Zealand. The pair retraced their steps several times but could not find it. A year later the New Zealand friend reported, 'I found your camera. It was broken and unusable but I have retrieved the memory card with all your holiday photos!'
As Shakespeare said, Alls's well that ends well.
About the Author Angela Lansbury
Travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please share links to your favourite posts. What are your favourite memories?
