Australian Weddings - the black and white

Australia

I have also seen weddings in public parks in Australia. The problem with public parks is that strangers can come along and heckle or  intrude on photos. Not to mention wandering dogs!

I have also seen pictures of ski scenes in weddings, and under-water ceremonies. I am glad I didn't need clothes for a snow white wedding or an underwater wedding.

How To Be A Bridesmaid

When my book, How to be a bridesmaid was published, I was in Australia for a visit. My publisher arranged for me to be on TV. Meanwhile, I went around a wedding show at the hotel. 

The seller of a video service showed me her brochure and video. She thought I was a bride-to-be. I started getting Imposter Syndrome.

 Eventually I had to admit, "I'm sorry. I don't need a video. I am not a bride-to-be. I am on TV tomorrow to promote my book, How To Be A Bridesmaid. I am looking for ideas and facts about weddings in Australia, in order to be amusing, informative, up-to-date, and relevant to the audience." 

To my surprise, and delight, she was not at all annoyed. She simply turned the her sales pitch and used the situation to her advantage. She said, "Ooh. I'd love to have my video company on TV. Can you get me on TV."

I sighed. "I have no idea how to get you on TV. I didn't arrange it. I am only on there because the publisher in London fixed it. I am going to speak to them later about what I am to talk about, so we can run through it. The only thing I am going to talk about is etiquette. Wearing white. Not wearing black. Unless you had a video of a bride wearing black ..."

"Yes! Yes! I do!" she said. "That would be great. I just have to get permission from the bride. Hold on, I've got her number here. Hello, I am wondering ...? Angela! She would be delighted. She and her bridesmaids all wore black. She would love to be on TV! Give the TV company my name and I'll send them a short clip. Don't worry about copyright, or credentials. I'll sort all that out. You can say whatever you want. I am so thrilled. I am so glad I met you! Thank you, thank you! What can I do for you?'

I replied, "Tell me about wedding disasters."

"I'll send you a collection of clips from things which were cut out of wedding videos. You can't show them. But you can talk about them. Just don't mention any bride's names."

That was a dream come true for me. I had my magic moment on TV of looking horrified at a bride wearing black. I was prepared. I shook my head, tutted. Then I stammered a polite, diplomatic, reason why - it worked for her - but would not for most brides! 

I also had enough funny stories about wedding disasters to speak entertainingly on radio for the rest of my life. 

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Hecklers - welcomed?

Problem
You are invited to give a comic speech or performance and you get hecklers. What do you do?
How do you respond to hecklers?

Answers
1 Do not get angry. Do not walk off stage nor threaten to do so. Remain good humoured. Be prepared. If you can't think of an answer, you could try silence.
'It's lovely to have such an involved audience.'
'I'm glad to know you care. Not about me, but about somebody.'
'The feeling is mutual.'
'He means well.'
'I'll thing about that - later.'
Flatter the audience.
'Ninety-nine per cent of Singaporean / American ? (whatever city or country you are in) are lovely. When they said we had sold 100 tickets for this show / this theatre held a hundred people, I thought, there could be trouble.'
When the organiser asked me, 'Do you like surprises? I said yes. That was a mistake.'

2 Plan and list some possible heckles, work out possible responses and memorise responses.
Depending on the age of the heckler - or for humorous effect if you reply as if they were a different age:
'I asked my father to come along. That was a mistake.'
'Never invite your ex along.'
'OK you can be part of the act - but you won't get paid.'
'Anybody got a funny answer to that? Thank you / Maybe there isn't one.'
'I told my brother, pretend to be drunk, angry - and stupid.'
'I said I was too busy to come to your stage act. I just changed my mind.'
'I told them I liked a challenge. Learn from my mistake.'
'I have always regretted not learning karate.'

Angela Lansbury, author, speech trainer.