Writers Summer School - what I learned about seating in dining rooms

 

The Hayes Conference Centre. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The Writers' Summer School was originally set up to bring together writing circles from around Britain so they could share their knowledge and writing and books. It is still the case that some people from writing circles arrive in cars in pairs, or in groups.

The net result is that a newcomer is a loner. So is an old timer who is not part of a writing circle. (Mine in Harrow disbanded, after some people moved overseas, others went too professional to need other amateurs when they had publishers to give feedback. Others grew ill, retired, died.

In a large group at a table, the pairs or foursomes are people who already know each from back home. 

Pairs Of People

One pair is a mother and daughter. Another are father and son. Another pair is a husband and wife team. Two others work together. 

Two more are a same sex couple. The talkative one eventually tells me proudly that they are 'partners'. They were very nice and friendly. The larger, chatty, dominant one, instantly talked to me. But her thinner partner never took her eyes off the partner, never looked at me. So the large women was the pivot between us. 

On another occasion, I went up to join a woman who had been very friendly to me in the comedy group. But she was now with another person who she worked with. They were engrossed in the practical arrangements for their next event, another conference overseas, the hotels, travel arrangement. I was left out. For me, the end of that arrangement, what had seemed like a potential friendship.

I have been thinking about the etiquette of joining groups. It is better to select who you will sit with before entering the dining room. Even if it means jumping the queue for food in order to get served at the same time looking for a seat. 

An alternative is to sit in the same place, the same table, with the same people, every meal. But I like to change tables and meet new people. I sometimes walk through the dining room, glancing at each table, until somebody smiles welcomingly. I sit next to them.

Sometimes I sit alone. I look around at those walking in. If somebody stands, hesitating, looking at me, I smile and beckon.  

Zoom, co-host and how to record, why record, or why not record?

We think only the host can record, not the co-host. This is something two of you can practise.

I am using both zoom and learncool. It's good to know more than one system. You can explain more easily to others.

Why Record?
If you have speeches and workshops you might record them so others who missed the meeting can catch up. the recording could be publicty, PR, for your group andornizers. Status for the performers. Everyone from Mum to future employers can see you.

A chance to review your performance and improve.
Value for those who paid your year's membership or the event fee but could not attend - or gorgot.

A chance to capture still photos from the video.

Keep up with the Joneses - the internet is flooded  with videos from your rivals and friends. If you are not recording you are left behind, too modest, not proactive, not visible.

A video can be used to sell your next event.

What about people who don't want to be recorded. Why not?

It could be privacy concerns. They don't want to reveal where they are or where they are not.

Performance concerns. They were tired sick, having a bad hair day, not at their best.

If you have a group of 50, 100 or 300 people you cannot afford to have your promotional video sabotaged by one person who makes a fuss about being photographed because they wore the bue jacket instead of the black one.

One way around this problem is to ask everyone to switc off their pictrue so that only their name appears on a black screen. This enables them to hug their children, stroke the cat, take a phone call, apply their lipstick and comb heir hair, eat their lunch, frown, cough, whatever, all though the meeting without having to worry about naked spouses and kids running out of the bathroom behind them, nor to sit bolt upright with a faint smile for three hours.

Author
Author, Author! About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. (Not related to the actress.)
Author of twenty books including: Quick Quotations; Who Said What When.
See books and profiles on Lulu.com and Amazon, such as Wedding Speeches & Toasts. Also watch videos on YouTube.
See other posts on singers and statues and languages and destinations.

Online Toastmasters International Meetings
If you want to learn to speak the Queen's English, or Received Pronunciation. join me at my online toastmasters club,
Braddell Heights Advanced. Wednesdays, 7-9 Singapore time which is seven hours ahead of London, England.

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=braddell%20heights%20advanced%20toastmasters
I am also a member of
Singapore Online.9-12 pm, Singapore time, Fridays. I am also a member of
Tampines Changkat Advanced.
Harrovians, London.
Tiarel.
Toastmasters International Find a Club
https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club
https://books.google.com.sg/books?id=upSEBwAAQBAJ&pg=PA21&lpg=PA21&dq=quick+quotations
lulu.com/shop/angela-lansbury/who-said-what-when/paperback/product

Flying Off To Give A Speech? Conquering Your Fear of Public Speaking. My ten top tips

Angela Lansbury, President of Braddell Heights Advanced Speakers' Club, standing left. 

Sylvia, second runner up of the club's International Speech contest and the Table Topics (impromptu speech) contest. Standing on the right, Arinjay, first runner up in both contests. Seated on the right, is Faith, winner of both the club's International Speech Contest and the Table Topics (Impromptu Speech) contest.

As they say, you've got to be in it to win it.
Conquering Fear of Public Speaking

My ten top tips

1 You are the most confident person in the room.

The members of the audience are more afraid than you are. You are on the stage. They are sitting at the back and avoiding the front rows.

2 Don't tell them you are afraid. 

Would you want the the pilot of a plane to tell you he was nervous, or a train driver, or a bus driver, or the chef in a restaurant, or the person on the till counting out your change? Instead look confident to reassure the audience they are not wasting their time. 

3 Take a deep breath and speak loudly. 

Several members of the audience are worried they won't hear. They are aged over 50, have hearing loss, are sitting behind somebody with a large head, are distracted by somebody nearby whispering, or speak English as a second language. Be kind. Be audible.

4 This is not the hardest speech.

The speech at your mother's funeral is your hardest speech. Same goes for any other funeral speech. No other speech comes near. Practise speaking this silly speech so that when you have to give one of life's hardest speeches you can be fair to the audience and the occasion. 

5 The audience are hoping to enjoy themselves. 

Make sure they do. Smile at them Focus on what they want. Their chief concern is: - what is in it for me?

6 Go to a Toastmasters International meeting.
Do a table topic (impromptu speech). 

7 Add a quotation.
This adds importance to your speech.
The audience will be impressed. You will feel enthusiastic about the hero or heroine you are quoting.

8 Add Drama
Add conflict, conversation, or song.

9 Use one prop to symbolise your message.
You can use up to three props, If you have three stories, have one prop for each story. That will help you remember the message and will help the audience remember. 

10  Repetition Adds Clarity And Memorability.
If your title, your opening line and your clsing line are your message, the audience will remember it.

The USA
In America there are online clubs speaking English and Spanish.

Singapore
One online club is bilingual. My club based online in Singapore is English speaking. Singapore also has bilingual clubs, and clubs speaking only in French, Chinese (Mandarin), and Tamil (an official language in Singapore and spoken in Southern India and Sri Lanka).

If you are interested in finding a club near you, at home or on holiday or a business trip, go to Toastmasters International Find A Club.

Useful Websites
https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
member of:
Harrovians Speakers Club, London, England, UK.
President of Braddell Heights Advanced Club 2019-2020.
Please share links to your favourite posts.

Seen In Singapore: Cute Toy At Bus Stop - I want one - how to find it

Singapore Flag.

Cute Toy At Bus Stop. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Waiting for a bus might not be your number one fun activity. However, this toy provided me with a permanent smile whilst I waited. 

I was at the Tampines Interchange. I wonder if I could copy the image and do a search on the internet to find a match and learn what the toy is and where you can buy it. 

I should have asked the woman where she bought it. But my bus came along.

I know you can search for products or try to identify plants and animals.

I found camfind.

https://www.komando.com/apps/338508/search-for-a-product-online-simply-by-taking-a-picture-of-it

Good and Bad Encounters on Buses

Problem
I was rather nervous about my bus journey. Lots of bad things happen on buses. All sorts or odd people. Even if no danger, the person on the bus beside you is smelly, nutty, too close for comfort.

Solutions
If you travel off-peak, you have a chance to move to another seat. I don't think it's offensive to move.

I often move to get a whole seat to myself. I am doing the person I leave a favour, because I leave more room for the person I was sitting beside.

Is it a personality thing? Some people like to claim a seat and stay in it. Some always sit in the same place on a bus or train every day, the one at the front with the view ahead. Schoolchildren run to the seat higher up at the back, where they can sit together on the longer back seat, be together in a group. That does a favour to the older people who don't want to risk walking up the short flight of stairs when the bus is moving, nor down them again to get off.

Also schoolchildren know the route. So they can sit at the back and rush off quickly at their stop. Strangers need to sit near the doors, watching for signs, or listening to the announcements.

I move to sit against the window and enjoy the view. If somebody large sits beside me, they have to spill into the aisle. I am firmly supported by the seat. I do not have my pockets exposed to people passing. I can put my bag against the window. I can tuck my clothes around any pockets.

But seeing the stop before mine I go into panic mode. I move to be near the door ready to get off without delaying the whole bus. I might move to the front to ask the driver if this is the nearest stop to my destination, such as a railway station. It's not always obvious. In a big station, (as happened to me in Singapore) the driver told me to wait until he pulled into the terminal, to save the delay and danger of crossing a busy road.

On my last trip, I moved to stand up in the wheelchair space to take photos. A woman with a buggy got on. I immediately offered to move to make way for her. She said she was fine. She sat down with the buggy next to her, leaving the space the other side of the pole for me to stand.

later, having taken a specific photo of a landmark, I sat down. As I sat in a single inward facing seat by the door, the bus stopped. A man who was unshaven, with missing teeth, said something I could not understand. it sounded like 'ez well ah'. He pointed at my hat. My hat said Venezuela. I was given it at the Venezuela stand at the World Travel Market in London. My hat gets lots of comments. I am a walking advertisement for Venezuela.

The old, unshaven man gave me a big smile. I gave him a big smile in return.

A moment later he was gone. No harm or danger to me. A smile and comment from him to cheer me.

An encounter to brighten his day. If I had been in the street I might have tired to evade a character I didn't know trying to make conversation. But because it was a bus, and I was surrounded by people, and he was getting off, and I could choose to get off at another stop (which I was doing anyway) I was safe and happy to brighten his day with my smile.

Thousands of bus journeys in every city every day. A few end in tragedy. Most end in comedy, if that's what you want.

I had met people who were unsmiling, smelly, mentally challenged, but also conversational people, young people, old people, smiling people, polite people, people to take me way from problems. Better than mediation or sitting at home alone. For a change of scene, take a bus.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Photographing and videoing yourself, friends and family

When you plan a wedding or funeral and know the photo of the central  characters will be recorded on photographs which will be on record, you take great care that the clothes are elegant or attractive, the hair is adjusted and the women's make-up is neat and any blemishes are covered. The same applies to the model in a promotional video for a business.

At a formal occasion you have many photos of the chief personalities and the professional photographer edits out, or the paying customer rejects, any photos in which the bride, groom, or main speaker has their eyes shut or stands awkwardly.

Now that so many of us are being photographed in public places and events, and taking photos at public places and events, we are increasingly finding it important to look our best at all times in photos.

The Problem and Solution
Here are some problems I have noticed:
1 Lopsided Clothes - tie or scarf of boy or man
a)  A barmitzvah boy's tallis* (scarf) hangs lopsided. Children in photos have skew-whiff ties.
b)  Ask person being photographed or parent or pairs of children to check each other

2 Lopsided Clothes - scarf of man or woman
b)  Speaker at Toastmasters' meeting has scarf hanging longer on one side.
 Photographer asks people posing to check

3 People in back row are hidden
Ask small people to come to the front. (You might ask taller people to stand at back but its friendlier to ask small people to come forward rather than pushing people to the back.) If time, arrange taller people or VIP or visually appealing costume such as mayor in regalia in centre. Arrange heights in an arch from the centre. Alternatively a line.

4 Brighten dull line-up of known or known people
 In a wedding photo create movement or action or links. For example, everybody facing the right, everybody looking at the bride int he centre,  everybody raising a glass, linking arms on New Year's Eve, ballet dancers with right toe forward and hands together overhead, heads turned left.

5 Two people standing apart, but camera will focus on distant wall behind in centre
Ask people to stand together, or overlap. Alternatively, have one sitting, the other standing behind. Stand them back against the wall of the room so camera is not focussed on the wall in the distance. Get the club banner or vase of flowers in the centre so something in focus in the centre is of interest.

3 One shoulder higher
Very common, as any tailor can tell you. Can be made worse by carrying a bag on the right hand side which makes the right shoulder either droop or such up, or by sitting at a desk with right arm raised writing or by a car accident injuring collar bone or arm.

4 Standing Lop-sided
Standing with one leg forward or back. a) Get people to stand up straight.
b) Alternatively make a joking feature of it.  A comedian or kid or masked character or person pulling a face can make it look like the lopsided stance is deliberate and increases the funny effect.

5 Toes pointing in
Makes a shoe model, or any model, or any adult woman look like a gormless five year old. Ask the model person to keep feet parallel. I've seen this in Hotter shoe catalogue. I love the shoes but hate the pictures which do not draw attention to the shoes but distract me. I feel like throwing a catalogue in the bin when the photographer has an adult model or even a child with toes painting in. Anybody into chiropody or the Alexander technique would tell you that you are inviting foot and spine trouble to stand with toes pointing in - or you are giving the world the news that you already have a problem.

6 Knees apart when sitting
Makes a fat person look larger and aggressive. On a woman with a short skirt gives an ungainly view up legs of underwear or worse and distracts from face.

7 Folded arms in audience
Makes the member of the audience look bored and disrespectful and half awake.
Suggests the speaker is boring and the event is a waste of time.

8 Bags on floor
Trip hazard. Flusters members of audience leaving chairs to go on stage. Looks untidy in photos. Obscures full view of person being photographed.

9 Lopsided banners
Straighten the banner. It's an advertisement for the club - and the photographer. Don't look sloppy. Look smart. Nobody will know that you took the trouble to get the banner straight. But you will know. Yes, I got that right. Without my going to extra trouble. they would not have been looking as good as they do.

10 Lopsided badges, lanyards or necklaces
People were badges upside down, or the badges droop. Get them horizontal.

11 Untidy hair
At a recent meeting I watched a video of somebody else who had an uneven hair cut. I felt like going up and offering to cut the person's hair for free. It's hard to cut your own hair.  Imagine my horror when I then saw a video of myself at the same event, with my hair not combed, untidy at the back. I often arrive at meeting in a hat or hood which I remove. I go to the Ladies and comb my hair. On this occasion I was waylaid by organisers wanting help. I suggest that at meetings people get into pairs in advance and do a mutual check, whether for photos or just general appearance.

12 Create Interest For Singles and Pairs
Singles in photos and paintings can have an item in their hand such as a tennis racket or a pen or a book. Add a nearby decoration such as a vase of flowers, trophy, or something on the wall behind, such as the name of the venue, the restaurant menu showing the location name, or stand them beside the signpost of the city, the name of the museum, (providing this is not a security risk), or a uniformed person nearby such as the concierge of the hotel, the pilot of the plane, a person of a different height or race, a Masai warrior, a scuba diver, a shopkeeper with a bucket and spade, a waiter with a bottle or cake, a sign saying Best ...., a poster or advertisement, a calendar showing the date, the hotel flower display in the lobby, the flowers in the garden, the shops' s or neighbour's cat or dog or bird, a show room bicycle or car, a pretty or funny coffee cup or mug.  Take serious and smiling photos. Then they can be used for both happy occasions such as weddings and serious ones such as funerals.

Footnote
*(For anybody who doesn't know but wants to know, the tallis/tallit or fringed scarf, worn by Liberal Jews on special occasions as well as the Orthodox Jews at all times - follows the instructions in Leviticus or laws in the Jewish Hebrew Bible / English Christian Old Testament which is a translation.)

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.