A Lifetime of Holidays, Heavenly & Hellish, Humour

Hellish Moments

Fire

We never had fire, although people my parents met on holiday, who lived in a grand Tudor wood mansion, which my parents hoped to visit, died in a fire which destroyed the house.

 I have experienced three fire alarms. The first was in mid breakfast in Scotland at the large Peebles Hydro hotel. For us guests, waiting for breakfast was a nuisance. For the hotel, even worse, a costly delay, and a logistic nightmare.  They had to clear all the old, cold, food, re-cook the buffet, take orders for everybody simultaneously, serve several hundred breakfasts. 

The next was mid lunch in the USA at a restaurant. 

The third was at bedtime on New Year's Eve in Florida. We thought it was a joking best man at the wedding in the garden below. It happened a second time. In retrospect, we realized it could have been our indoor fireworks (sparklers).

Flood

We had flooding in Hatch End, London, in the high street (Americans say main street).  My friend advised me, 'Take everything off the floor. Papers, shoes, small rugs. Then go upstairs.'

I replied, 'Ihank you. I'll clear the floor.' I reminded her, 'I can't go upstairs. I live in a bungalow.'

At Writers' Summer school in Derbyshire, we had flooding down the outside paths and frogs hopping about so you had to avoid tripping over them or stepping on them.

Snake in the Garden

In Stanmore, in my parents' bungalow back garden, we had a a fat snake. I called the Council. No help. So I called the zoo. The snake was a pregnant female adder. Expected to have about twenty more! 

The RSPCA collected it with a pitchfork and glass container.

Language - lost in translation

As a teenager in Paris,  France, I missed out on seeing a performance of the play which was part of my exam. I made a mistake with muddling up Wednesday and Friday. Mercredi and Vendredi. 

Funny Moments

Russian Comedy at Las Vegas

I met the two Russian and American clowns at Circus Circus. I asked one of them, 'Are you the Russian or the American?'

He replied, in a Russian accent, 'I am the Russ-ian. He is the Amer-i-can.'

I turned politely to the other clown. He repeated the same words in the same accent,  'I am the Russ-ian. He is the Amer-i-can.'

English Language and Singlish

In 2023 at the Singapore (District 80) annual convention in a workshop on marketing your brand we were asked to state our  unique selling point. I said that I was a native, British English speaker, and could teach spelling, pronunciation and grammar.

Another member of the audience said, 'I would like to challenge Angela. If she teaches me spelling, pronunciation and grammar, will I still be understand even if my thoughts are Rojak?'

I replied, 'No, because Rojak is a Singlish.h term and nobody in Britain would understand it.'

(Rojak means a jumble or medley of fruit.)

Happy Moments

I have more stories about  my Lost passport, the Mad Wee Road, Scotland, theft, and Playing Cards. They will be in a later post.

Please share links to your favourite posts.

Hotel Discounts

At a hotel lobby in the USA, I was lingering, looking at postcards when I overheard a potential customer at reception trying to book a room at a discount.

He asked, 'Can I book a room at a discount.'

'Yes, sir. Are you a member of the American Automobile Association?'

'No.'

'Are you a member of the military?'

'No.'

'Are you a member of the emergency services?'

'No.'

Ever keen to be helpful and make a sale, she asks,

'What business are you in?'

'It's a secret business.'

'Then I shall give you the 'secret business' discount.'

Odd Moments

The Rothschild lunch

Sprinklers For Safety? Je-Well Water And What Sets Sprinklers Off At Jewel and Hotel Skyscrapers

Photo from Wikipedia.

Description	English: A sign warns hotel guests not to hang items from fire sprinklers.
Date	7 October 2017, 19:41:53
Source	Own work
Author	Scott Brody

One year, long ago, we had to evacuate three times because of false fire alarms.


The St Andrew's Cross, Flag of Scotland, currently (2019) part of the UK



The first fire alarm was at Peebles Hydro, a large hotel on the mountain top of Peebles in Scotland. The chefs were out on the lawn, a bride in her white night-dress, and hundreds of people and staff. The red fire engines clanged noisily uphill towards us.

When the emergency was declared over, the hotel had to cook the breakfast again for the morning breakfast buffet.


Flag of the USA

Later that year, in the USA, our lunch was interrupted by a fire alarm. We waited so long, and got so hungry, that eventually we went off elsewhere.  We did go back into the hotel and offer to pay for our drinks and starter, but they apologised and did not take our money.

Next drama was on New Year's Eve. A wedding party in Florida in a marquee below set off the fire alarm. A relative bought some sparklers for our child. They set off one on the balcony. the smouldering sparkler was taken into the bathroom to dunk it safely in water. Then the fire alarm went off again. We assumed it was the wedding party.

Then the manager came up to see us. He said, "It's from your floor of the hotel. Was it you? Were you smoking?"

Mystified, we replied, "No. We are non-smokers."

Years later, we realised that our smouldering hand held firework might have caused the problem.


Flag of Singapore

This year (2019), the wonderful Jewel shopping mall attached to Changi Airports terminals, with a multi-storey fountain, has suffered from a leak. Not from a leaking water fountain, I understand, but from sprinklers set off by something.


Flag of England, the St George's Cross, fpart of the Union Jack.


The Union Jack flag of the UK.

UK House Fire And Sprinklers
I had friends in London who went on holiday leaving neighbours to watch their house. They had sprinklers. What could go wrong?

They had a house fire caused by their supposedly hibernating tortoises waking and eating through wiring whilst the family was away on holiday. By the time the neighbours arrived, and the fire brigade arrived, the house was filled with black smoke. My friend said water damage to the furniture and furnishings and clothes was an equal issue.

As I recently discovered in London, after three or four days of water, in a bathroom, water has turned to mould and mushrooms are growing in your carpets.

How Sprinklers Help
How do sprinkers work? Some have a system with a plug of wax. When the wax melts in heat, water is released. As I have learned, water must be mopped up quickly, so that people don't slip on the floor, and mould does not grow.

Action and Inaction!
Avoid smoking and setting off fireworks indoors. Candles and fire ceremonies could also set off alarms and send people evacuating in a panic.

The costs could include injuries to running people, slipping on wet floors, damage to furnishings and goods, loss of business.

On a reassuring note, I like to think that in a fire there are sprinklers.

Useful Websites
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_sprinkler_system

Scotland
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peebles_Hydro

USA
visittheusa.co.uk

UK
visitbritain.com

Singapore
http://theindependent.sg/jewel-changi-airport-leaks-again-waterfall-now-reaches-the-mall/
singaporeair.com
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/second-water-leak-at-jewel-changi-airport-due-to-sprinkler-issue-11482610
https://www.visitsingapore.com/contact-us/

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. See my other posts on Jewel shopping mall and Changi airport, and destinations such as Singapore, Scotland, the UK and the USA. Please share links to your favourite posts.

Retire to a Hotel? Or A Cruise?

A UK HOTEL
Mrs Thatcher spent her last days in the Ritz Hotel, in London.

The Ritz Hotel, London. Photo by Dickbauch in Wikipedia.

Could we do the same, spending less?

Retiring to a hotel was done by elderly people years ago in the UK. I visited Peebles Hydro in Peebles, Scotland. They had one elderly resident who had been staying there for years. She was the last of several.

The hotel planned to stop offering long-term accommodation. As they upgraded the hotel and raised prices, they felt they could not raise the room rate annually beyond the original budget and force out the resident who was on a fixed pension.

HOTELS
Advantages of Hotels
I can see the advantages of a hotel when you are fit and active. In fact, the swimming pool and gym of a hotel, and constant company and stimulus, could help you postpone dementia and depression. Ideal for the widow or widower who wants company.

Friendly Faces
What if you like familiar faces? You could move into adjacent rooms with a spouse or a friend. You could choose interconnecting rooms.

USA
Jewish Complex
When I lived in the USA, in Washington DC I visited a Jewish complex which had a residential home for the elderly linked by a walkway to an activity complex. the general building contained meeting rooms, a swimming pool and a library.

The complex was run like a country club. If you did not (yet) have a relative in the retirement home, you needed to invest in a single, couple or family annual membership to use the swimming pool. The families could visit on a Sunday morning where you could buy a bagel brunch beside the pool and read the free newspapers.

The advantages for residents included kosher food, sing-songs and activities.

DANGERS & DEMENTIA
Our relative, when widowed, had stayed in a block of one bedroom flats with a warden and weekly activities.

Retirement homes usually have emergency bells or regular checks on vulnerable residents.

We moved her into a retirement home which provided all meals when were living overseas and she started falling. It was not safe for her to be alone.

DEMENTIA
The situation got more urgent when she went missing.  Her doctor advised us to call the local hospitals. For security reasons, the hospital would not tell me, the daughter-in-law, whether she was in the hospital.

We asked the doctor to check. Then my son, who was her grandson, and as a blood relative had more rights than I did, was able to get the information and visiting hours. She was released into his care.

She had checked herself into the hospital, which she thought was a hotel.

Retirement homes usually have emergency bells or regular checks on vulnerable residents.

NURSING HOMES
Nursing homes offer extras. For example, staff to help you dress, clean your teeth, and change the diaper (UK nappy) for the incontinent. They also supervise the taking of medication.

On the other hand, you can get health visitors to do daily visits or twice a day visits if you are living at home in London. Would they visit if you lived in a hotel?

FREE TRANSPORT
Currently (2019) London offers free transport to the elderly although they are considering removing that bonus.

I like the idea of using an airport shuttle bus for free transport and a change of scene, to try new restaurants.

Many big hotels offer free shuttle buses to major shopping centres.

HAPPY HOTELS!
To sum up, so long as you have your wits about you, you might consider retiring to your favourite hotel group. If you register as a frequent guest, they might give you upgrades and birthday cakes. The happy hour could keep you happy.

CRUISES
Other elderly people have sold up their home and gone on round the world cruises. What entertainment do you get? Daily dancing. Food and exercise. Entertainment programmes. Sport. Lots of company. See the world, without having to fly or pass medicals to fly.

SAVINGS & DISCOUNTS
You can also get discounts at some hotels for seniors. Some cities offer reduced price travel for seniors. you can get discounts at many hotels in the USA with membership of the AAA (American Automobile Association), the military and various other deals and discounts.

If you are looking for a hotel with extras:
Seaside hotels
Mountaintop hotels

I religiously read through five pages of comments. One person thought that you had to check out of a hotel on day 2 because otherwise the hotel is subject to landlord-tenant laws.

USEFUL WEBSITES
https://www.extendedstayamerica.com/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6743907/Man-says-hell-spend-golden-years-Holiday-Inn-not-nursing-home.html

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please share links to your favourite posts.