Life Hacks: How to Open a Can Of Food Without Openers in an Emergency, and a wine bottle with t a corkscrew and tell Irish Jokes

The comments are hilarious.

When would you have a can and no can opener?

Your budget allows for buying a can of tinned food from a nearby shop but not a can opener.

Hotel
When travelling to a hotel where you might arrive after the restaurant has closed. If you are lucky you may be in a five star hotel which has 24 hour room service. But if its late and you are tired you don't want to wait 30 minutes whilst they cook up a meal. You may also be unwilling to pay their inflated prices and risk getting spicy food or food not meeting your diet requirements.

Moving House And/Or Overseas
When moving house which may be overseas and your kitchenware will take 3 weeks to arrive.

When popping down to a corner shop when you are in a guest house and the corner shop sells cheap cutlery but no can openers.

Hotel
You are in a hotel and have a can of food. The hotel has cutlery but not tin openers.

Emergency Bag
In Japan which is prone to earthquakes I am told everybody keeps an emergency bag by the front door to grab when they rush out in an emergency.

Swiss Army Knife
We used to travel with a Swiss army knife which includes a can opener.

Then planes started banning knives.The first time we lost a knife. The second time we were carrying a stamped self addressed envelope just in case we accidentally took something we needed to post home. Sure enough we did. The Swiss army knife still in the suitcase from the last trip by train within the country and the trips in the car.

We were able to go back through security and post it and then come back through security.

Granny's Tips
I plan to be the perfect President of the club and the grand granny who has an answer for every question. Here's one of those 'I wish I had known this earlier' moments. How to open a can without a can opener. Holding a meeting and buying a can of fish to provide a quick nutritious protein meal. Arrive at a hotel after the restaurant has closed. I wish I had known this when i moved house and unpacked the tins of food but a half hour wait before we found the can opener.
Another tip - always keep an old knife, for and spoon in the bottom drawer of your kitchen. Then you have something to hand out when your spouse or handyman (or woman or person) asks do you have a knife, or fork or spoon, without damaging your best crockery.

Open Champagne And to go with the food, several, seven, ways to open a bottle of wine or Champagne without a corkscrew!

Tell Jokes Whilst you are waiting for somebody else to risk damaging their body or their clothes, here are some Irish jokes:
An Irishman take his car into a garage. The mechanic says, 'I'll put my head in here and try to fix. You tell me if the indicator is working or not.
The customer replies, 'it's working, it's not working; its working; its not working.'

https://www.irishcentral.com/culture/craic/irish-jokes-best

Useful Websites
https://vinepair.com/articles/7-ways-to-open-a-bottle-of-wine-without-a-corkscrew/

About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Fruit desserts when travelling? Chopped fruit? Spoon or cutlery?

In war time (WWII) Britain it was hard to get fresh fruit and rationing continued until 1952. I recall my late mother telling me how she met a new friend chatting in a queue for bananas.
   In the late fifties and sixties in the UK it would have been normal for a restaurant on its own or in a hotel to serve fruit salad as one of the options after a meal, especially through summer, when strawberries would have been considered a treat in June.
    In the winter restaurants in London served apple crumble or fruit pie in winter. In the summer the sweet trolley would have a bowl of fruit salad.
    Then along came ice cream. It was originally an extra, an alternative to hot custard or cold runny double cream.
    By the year 2013 fruit salad had become a rarity. I can name the one restaurant I remember serving it. The Blue Check in Bushey. By now an increasing number of people in the USA and UK were living longer and being diagnosed with late onset diabetes. Every weekend we would go to dinner in England with my widowed late father and he could not eat dessert because no fruit was available. Sometimes sat a buffet we were able to save orange slices from the vegetable salad bar, or ask the servers to find us some fruit. Chinese restaurants such as Imperial China on the Watford Way near Watford serve slices of orange after the main course, often a greasy duck, so the acidic fruit is good in the mouth - was well as the face and hands!
   Now, ironically, the fast food places are more likely to offer a fruit option than the proper restaurants. You can get a small packet of fruit in fast food outlets such as McDonalds and other burger places as well as most major supermarkets and Drug supermarkets with a sandwich stand, which offer fruit as one of the side options in the meal deals consisting or a sandwich, fruit pack and bottled juice. Large branches of Tesco, and the smaller branches of Tesco Express and M & S similar stores on motorways offer the fruit to pick up. Some ice cream, yogurt and fruit packs have a spoon in the lid.
   It is handy to have your own spoon with you in your bag or car.  If you need cutlery to eat your fruit from a supermarket, save one from a lunch time fast food purchase for your later in the day meal. Or ask a supermarket assistant for advice and help.
   Marks and Spencer often has a separate plastic knife and fork supply at the service till, or nearby, or back on the dessert kiosk area, which you may have to ask for. In the days when you could take a Swiss Army Knife on a plane I used to travel with a folding knife which also had a folding fork and spoon. You needed a second Swiss army knife to use a knife and fork, or a spouse or companion with a second set.
    Another option is to have fruit at breakfast. If you order breakfast in your hotel room you can save any spare fruit. Most railway food kiosks have an apple or piece of fruit for sale. If you carry your own bottled water, whether a branded water or refilled from a drinking tap at home, you can use your water to wash the fruit later in a wash basin in a cloakroom.