How do you cope with being late for a meeting where lots of people are expecting you to speak? In your home town you might be able to drive to look at the destination in advance. But travelling can easily make you late, even when you have allowed an extra half hour.
The first important thing to consider is whether to warn the hosts that you are late and to reassure them that you are on your way. In Singapore I used to attend one or two Toastmasters meetings every day, often taking a journey of an hour or more, involving a train, or two, or three, and a bus, and a walk at both ends. Then a hunt around the building to find the correct room.
Before setting off on the day I would check alternative routes and possible delays. But that was too late. I could make myself half an hour late checking on the route. So, now i put the details of my contacts in both my phone and my diary when I receive the invitation. I write to the host checking the room and the floor and how long it takes to get from the station to the venue and whether there will be delays for security to get into the building. Sometimes I had to fill in a form twice, once to get into the building on the ground floor, again on the 8th or 16th floor to get into the company's office.
Nowadays, in March 2020, with coronavirus checks in both private offices and public Community Club buildings, you need another five minutes for the Coronavirus checks. First you have to go through a zig zig route to go through to the desk of the person doing the temperature test.
Then fill in a form giving your name and phone so they can contact you if the building later has a case or coronavirus. You find a pen. You don't want to handle a public pen. You state which countries you have recently visited.
Then they take your temperature, note it down alongside your name in a book or on a form, then give you a coloured sticker to wear showing that you have been temperature tested.
Then you have to find out how to get through the turnstile and if there is a turnstile only for visitors with a different card.
Which lift? Some buildings have express lifts. You don't want to be in a lift stopping at every floor if you are going to floor 26 or the penthouse. One lift goes to the first ten floors. The next lift to the next ten floors. One lift only direct to the penthouse VIP office or revolving restaurant. On two or three occasions I have run back, through the turnstile, ask reception which lift, back through the turnstile, wait for the lift. Five or ten minutes to go wait for the lift and go up in the lift.
Ten minutes is the difference between arriving early arriving on time, arriving late, and finding that somebody else has given the opening speech or been allotted your speech slot.
Worse still, I have been left in reception, waiting for the person who invited me to collect me. I have had to wait until he has finished his opening address, and looked at his phone, and come down in the lift to collect me.
Then, to go to the toilet might require collecting a key from reception, even signing for it, and going on a detour, and waiting for them to open the glass doors to let you back into the office..
I have a family member who says, "You are annoying me. You are winding me up!"
The stress-relieving books I read tell me that nobody else is making you unhappy or stressed. Everybody gets stresses. It is up to you how you cope.
If the situation is serious, life or death, you need your adrenalin running and the ability to move quickly and decide quickly. However, many travel annoyances enquire the opposite. Keep calm and carry on.
When you arrive, late, flustered, how do you cope with the challenge of speaking on stage to a large audience or even reading out aloud to a room of people?
When I was a schoolchild I was an only child and shy of public speaking. I was scared that one day it would be my turn to stand on stage and read out the morning's bible passage or story.
When it was my turn to read out of book, I was nervous. I recall reading out aloud and my voice breaking.
In Toastmasters
International, visitors come along to get help overcoming shyness and fear of
public speaking.
I remember going to a Toastmasters meeting in London after
my father had died. The previous week I had wanted to get the weekend off duty
doctor to see my father, who was not
eating or drinking, and put my father onto a drip.
I sat in the Toastmasters meeting remembering how I had run from my father's bed to the desk of the ward nurse and asked her to call a dector. The ward nurse tried phoning the on call doctor two or three times. Each time
the doctor's answer was no.
I could not find the right words, the right message, for the
ward nurse to pass on to persuade the doctor to come down to the ward.
I went back to my father's bedside. Then my father died.
The doctor had to come down to sign the death certificate.
She said she was sorry. Weeks later I discovered that the doctor is paid to
sign the death certificate.
I was still thinking about this vital speech, and what I
should have said, when a visitor to the Toastmasters meeting struggled with a table topic, picked off the table for an impromptu speech on football.
I was still thinking: What had I offered the doctor? Would it have helped if I had
said something positive? For example, ‘If you just come down to look at him I
will be eternally grateful!’
When it was my turn to speak at the Toastmasters meeting I tried not to burden them with my problem, which would have made me glum, or crying, and instead smiled and spoke amusingly.
After the Toastmasters speakers' training meeting, the visitor asked how I spoke so easily, when she was totally terrified of speaking in front of strangers on a subject she knew nothing about.
I told her: Speaking on random topic is merely an exercise, not a real problem. Asking for a bank loan, or a doctor, is a real problem which requires practise and forethought.
Successful Phone Conversation
Before I started writing books, I wrote articles for
magazines. The query letter was the hardest part. You needed to find the person
to write to, what they had already covered, what you could offer, your
credentials, not too long. First the name of the person you want to speak to.
I remember ringing up an editor’s office. I was too scared to
speak to the editor. I just wanted to know how to spell the editor’s name. It
was for Parents' magazine.
I asked the woman who answered, who I presumed was the secretary, 'What is the feature editor's name? How to spell the feature editor's name. or should I write to the editor."
The person on the switchboard phone told me, "Write to the editor. The editor makes the final decision, and if she likes what you offer, the features editor automatically accepts it."
My new friend in the office! She was glad to help, had plenty of time because she was first
in the office and transport delays meant nobody else had arrived. We chatted
away gaily. We discussed our children and recent holidays. Finally she asked,
How else can I help you?
We went through the spelling of the editor’s name. We
checked a couple of times.
Finally I said, “Are you sure?”
She replied, “Yes I’m sure. It’s my name. I’m the editor.
What are you writing to me about?”
I nearly fell off my chair laughing. So I was able to reel off my list of possible subjects
enthusiastically.
She chose one. I soon
had agreed the length, the title, the payment due. Questions answered. Problems
solved.
All I had to do was write it quickly whilst it was still in
my mind. That led to several more jobs.
Thanks to that one phone call. Sometimes you get a gatekeeper. If they are not busy, chat them up. Make them a friend. if they are busy, be ready with exactly the information you need.
If you are scared to ask the big question, ask a little one.
After you establish rapport you can then get help with the bigger question.
If the gatekeeper canot help, ask when it is good to call. Phone or visit another day at another time.
If you are delayed, go through a checklist of things to do. Use waiting time. Don't waste time worrying while you wait. Work while you wait.
If you have a problem, usually it is not a problem, only an annoyance. But you don't have to be annoyed. Be stoical. Be dignified.
If you are waiting, you have been given free time to work, study, or plan your speech, or pray, or daydream or think happy thoughts.
Keep calm and carry on.
About the Author
Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer and author of twenty books.
