How to 'eat' soup and serve soup

How to sip soup in your own country is obvious. When you go on a trip to another country, or even another country's restaurant, not so obvious.

A Singaporean friend wrote to me:

Since you probably learned etiquette when you were a child, it comes to you naturally.   You may not be fully aware of the issues faced by people (like me) who did not grow up in the same environment and do not know even the basics, such as how to drink soup from a plate - I usually drink soup from a bowl.    

So, here are some guidelines for the benefit of my Singaporean friends, and anybody else who needs to know, or wants to know, or wants to know what to explain to children and adults from their own or other cultures.

UK
The special spoon for soup is called a soup spoon. Usually the handle is the same length as a dessert spoon. The difference is that a soup spoon has a rounded bowl, whilst a dessert spoon's concave area is more like an oval, slightly tapered.

The round concave part of the soup spoon is too large to go into your mouth, so obviously you will be scooping up the soup and sipping it from the side of the spoon.

The soup spoon handle is held in your right hand.

What about the soup bowl and scooping up the soup?

Whilst you have plenty of soup in the soup plate's central bowl area, you can draw a slightly tilted spoon through the soup towards yourself.

When you are coming to the end of your soup, to low for scooping, you can tip the plate. If you tipped the plate towards yourself, you risk tipping soup into your lap. (Also, I have just thought, it is easier for your eyes to focus intermittently on your dinner companion and the far side of the plate, than tire your eyes and ignore your companion by looking straight down.)

So you tip up your soup plate, very slowly an gently, until you can get some of the remaining soup into the soup spoon.

When you have finished, you leave the soup spoon in the bowl. Do not put it on the tablecloth because that leaves nasty stains during the meal as well as costing the tablecloth's owner time and money to remove the stain.

A large container for soup to be served to you and other diners is called a tureen.

Styles Of Soup Plate
A traditional soup plate is similar in size to a dinner plate and has an almost flat lip all the way around. What is the purpose of the lip? For the person setting the table to place the plate on the table without touching the bowl containing your food.

The soup plate lip should catch any drip from your spoon as you raise the soup to your lips.
The lip, held securely in both hands, ensures that the  plate bowl is untouched when the waiter removes the plate so their hand remains clean, or their gloves if they are wearing gloves. The remaining soup contents are not tipped out when removing the soup plate.

If you are running an event at which staff are serving soup, show them the shapes of the soup spoon. I was in an Italian restaurant in Edgware and asked for a soup spoon because I had been given only a knife and fork and dessert spoon.

The girl serving gave me another dessert spoon. When I pointed out that she had given me a dessert spoon, she was surprised. Her country in Eastern Europe did not have soup spoons.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

How To Identify Soup Spoons On Restaurant Tables In Europe

Cutlery Conundrums
A friend in Singapore complimented me on my use of chopsticks in Singapore. To my surprise he told me, "Some of us here have even more trouble with Western cutlery."
I asked, "What's the problem?"
He elaborated: "You have not just two pieces of stick you pick up, like for us, but cutlery in all different sizes and shapes. They are all for different purposes."
I gasped, "You found it a problem?"
"Yes. I have turned down opportunities to go into a restaurant, because I did not want to have to cope with all the cutlery. I am sure many people like me would be glad to hear an explanation of what all the different pieces of cutlery are used for, and in which order."

So, I gave one hour workshop on cutlery and crockery at his Toastmasters Club, Braddell Heights Advanced. I started with soup spoons, holding up a soup spoon. I asked:
"Do you know what this spoon is called, and what it is for ..."
Somebody shouted, "A soup spoon."
Since they had all been given the right answer, or at least a clue, I held up the soup spoon and asked. "Put up your hand if you think it is a soup spoon. Now put up your hand if you think it is a dessert spoon? Judging by your answers, half of you think it's a soup spoon. But half of you think it is a dessert spoon - or you aren't sure, or think it is for both purposes."

Soup Spoons
Let us start with the spoons, soup spoons. the round bowl on the spoon is deep and for sipping soup.

Firstly, the soup is served first at a Western meal. It is served last in traditional Chinese restaurants. Not everybody knows this. If you are ordering in a restaurant serving from an a la carte menu, makes sure which order the dishes will arrive, especially your soup. Once in a Chinese restaurant in China we ordered soup and it didn't arrive. We kept asking and being told through the meal that it would arrive. When the soup arrived at the end of the meal we had a discussion about the poor service and whether we could not add to or even deduct from the supposedly optional service charge.

The moral is, if you are a Western customer in a Chinese restaurant, or a Chinese customer in a Western restaurant, check when your waiting staff expect to serve the soup. If you want it served in a different order, you must explain to them and explain why.

If you are serving in a restaurant or dinner, or running a dinner or banquet, make sure the menu shows when the soup will be served.

Now, back to the cutlery. In Western restaurants the soup is servd first. You use the cutlery from the outside inwards towards the plate. So the soup spoon is on the outside right (facing with the spoon cavity at the top or north.

Importantly, the spoon bowl is circular, not oval.

In an Italian restaurant in Edgware, NW London, I asked a European member of staff for a soup spoon. I was about to write that I had no spoon, but thinking about it, perhaps I had a knife and for and dessert spoon.

She brought me a dessert spoon.
I and my family sat debating why.
"That's an insult."
"No, she's just careless."
"She's busy, not thinking."
"Maybe she's half-witted. Maybe she's dumb - which is why she is doing this job."
"Maybe she is smart and thinks this job is beneath her."
"We should be discussing the finances which we came out to dinner together to discuss, not getting distracted by actions of the servers."

None of our ideas about the cause of the problem were right. We should have called the manager and asked for a soup spoon.

On a return visit, months later, we discovered the problem. Out waitress could not recognize a soup spoon. No such item was used in her country in Eastern Europe. She was surprised and interested to hear that a round spoon was exclusively for soup. She had thought it was just a different design by another cutlery manufacturer.

The moral is
1 If you are given the wrong cutlery, speak up, nicely. You and the staff may both learn something.
2 If you are running a restaurant or a dinner event, train your staff to ensure they know the different items of cutlery.

My audience ranged in age from 9 years old to indeterminate age but probably well over the age of fifty.

If you would like a one hour speech or interactive workshop, or one which is longer or shorter, for a Toastmasters club in Singapore, or London, or anywhere in the world, please contact me.

A next post will be on wine bottles and drinks at dinner.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, speaker.