A friend in Singapore complimented me on my use of chopsticks in Singapore. To my surprise he told me, "Some of us here have even more trouble with Western cutlery."
I asked, "What's the problem?"
He elaborated: "You have not just two pieces of stick you pick up, like for us, but cutlery in all different sizes and shapes. They are all for different purposes."
I gasped, "You found it a problem?"
"Yes. I have turned down opportunities to go into a restaurant, because I did not want to have to cope with all the cutlery. I am sure many people like me would be glad to hear an explanation of what all the different pieces of cutlery are used for, and in which order."
So, I gave one hour workshop on cutlery and crockery at his Toastmasters Club, Braddell Heights Advanced. I started with soup spoons, holding up a soup spoon. I asked:
"Do you know what this spoon is called, and what it is for ..."
Somebody shouted, "A soup spoon."
Since they had all been given the right answer, or at least a clue, I held up the soup spoon and asked. "Put up your hand if you think it is a soup spoon. Now put up your hand if you think it is a dessert spoon? Judging by your answers, half of you think it's a soup spoon. But half of you think it is a dessert spoon - or you aren't sure, or think it is for both purposes."
Soup Spoons
Let us start with the spoons, soup spoons. the round bowl on the spoon is deep and for sipping soup.
Firstly, the soup is served first at a Western meal. It is served last in traditional Chinese restaurants. Not everybody knows this. If you are ordering in a restaurant serving from an a la carte menu, makes sure which order the dishes will arrive, especially your soup. Once in a Chinese restaurant in China we ordered soup and it didn't arrive. We kept asking and being told through the meal that it would arrive. When the soup arrived at the end of the meal we had a discussion about the poor service and whether we could not add to or even deduct from the supposedly optional service charge.
The moral is, if you are a Western customer in a Chinese restaurant, or a Chinese customer in a Western restaurant, check when your waiting staff expect to serve the soup. If you want it served in a different order, you must explain to them and explain why.
If you are serving in a restaurant or dinner, or running a dinner or banquet, make sure the menu shows when the soup will be served.
Now, back to the cutlery. In Western restaurants the soup is servd first. You use the cutlery from the outside inwards towards the plate. So the soup spoon is on the outside right (facing with the spoon cavity at the top or north.
Importantly, the spoon bowl is circular, not oval.
In an Italian restaurant in Edgware, NW London, I asked a European member of staff for a soup spoon. I was about to write that I had no spoon, but thinking about it, perhaps I had a knife and for and dessert spoon.
She brought me a dessert spoon.
I and my family sat debating why.
"That's an insult."
"No, she's just careless."
"She's busy, not thinking."
"Maybe she's half-witted. Maybe she's dumb - which is why she is doing this job."
"Maybe she is smart and thinks this job is beneath her."
"We should be discussing the finances which we came out to dinner together to discuss, not getting distracted by actions of the servers."
None of our ideas about the cause of the problem were right. We should have called the manager and asked for a soup spoon.
On a return visit, months later, we discovered the problem. Out waitress could not recognize a soup spoon. No such item was used in her country in Eastern Europe. She was surprised and interested to hear that a round spoon was exclusively for soup. She had thought it was just a different design by another cutlery manufacturer.
The moral is
1 If you are given the wrong cutlery, speak up, nicely. You and the staff may both learn something.
2 If you are running a restaurant or a dinner event, train your staff to ensure they know the different items of cutlery.
My audience ranged in age from 9 years old to indeterminate age but probably well over the age of fifty.
If you would like a one hour speech or interactive workshop, or one which is longer or shorter, for a Toastmasters club in Singapore, or London, or anywhere in the world, please contact me.
A next post will be on wine bottles and drinks at dinner.
Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, speaker.
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