Snails crawl unhurriedly around my garden safe from any risk that I shall turn them into porridge. I have not been tempted to turn snails into dinner. We never made it to the Fat Duck restaurant at Bray which had such a waiting list we never got to try the famous, or infamous, snail porridge.
But we did splash our cash on buying Heston Blumenthal's Christmas pudding with the fruit centre, from, Waitrose and loved it. So we were keen to visit Blumenthal's Dinner Restaurant at the Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park hotel.
Nonovirus, apparently, was the cause of food poisoning which closed down the restaurant for a week, but we had booked a set price lunch and were mentally committed to going. Yes, we had booked to visit in the week the restaurant was closed. But they allowed us to re-book for the following week.
From the hotel's dark lobby with its real fire, we were quickly directed to the entrance to the modern interior bar. Beyond is the light dining room where tables for two overlook the spacious park and majestic tall trees.
Our table is a large 'small' table for two. The white napkin is sealed with a black paper cover. Unwrap the paper and inside you find printed with a snippet of fascinating restaurant history.
What of the service? When a diner at a nearby table drops a piece of cutlery, a posse of servers rush forward, co-ordinated like hospital staff called by an invisible bell to resuscitate.
The set meal has two dishes for starter, two for main course and two for dessert. Simple. Two us chose a different starter and dessert each. We picked the same main course - in any case I had no choice as I am allergic to shellfish. We had notified them in advance and notified them on arrival. I thought they might have given me a menu which had two main courses, neither of which had shellfish. I was mistaken.
I was in two minds about the bread. It looked like a baguette, with more holes than emmentaler. The butter was nicely salty. The novelty was that the chefs had produced what looked like slices of baguette, in such a pale brown that it was later in the meal that I realised there were two sorts of bread.
At the time we salivating diners were impressed by the combination of soft centre and noisily crunching shell. Sorry to say that, in retrospect, I preferred the walnut bread I've had at other restaurants, such as Gilbert's and Hawtrey's is better.
However, we had chosen the matching three glasses of wine. As I was dining with a wine buff (doing the WSET wine and Spritis level 4) my dining partner's enthusiasm influenced my mood.
Surprise Starters
The famous starter of meat fruit - an imitation mandarin with pate inside, was not on our set menu. We saw it tantalisingly being served to other diners.
My lemon starter was certainly tangy. However, I much preferred the other dish. Ragoo of Pig's ear sounded off-putting.
The meal got going with the main course of roast Quail. The purple kale was great, the inion and smoked chestnuts scrumptious. How could they make quail so tasty and tender. Quail is normally a scrawny meat, like a starved chicken, the meat clinging for dear life to the bones, like some kind of dinosaur herring, full of belligerent bones, designed to distract the diner and inconvenience conversation.
White Mist Around Ice Cream
By now we were playing guess what the other diners have ordered. A wonderful white trolley was wheeled up to another couple. The white trolley enveloped itself in a mist of dry ice, like an Indian smoke signal trying to gain attention. It was ice cream. Served in two cone shaped cones.
The server does not seem to be wearing gloves. Surely a week after the nonovirus ...? In the southern USA servers would all be wearing white gloves. But no time to worry about others. We are waiting for our own desserts.
We were both now onto our third glass of wine, and the dessert wines were both wonderful sweet wines. So we were smiling before the dessert appeared. The piece de resistance was definitely dessert. It didn't look as exciting as the other table's ice cream snowstorm. But what was missing in appearance was compensated for by tantalising taste.
At last - an amuse gueule. A free treat.
(You would think that as we'd had our plans to dine the previous week had been changed, we might have been given a little note thanking us for our patience, or some recognition of our valued custom. Fellini of Hatch End would have dashed over with drink on the house.)
The teeny serving of chocolate and accompanying biscuit looks good. Alas the chocolate doesn't really taste strongly of chocolate. The biscuit is like gravel. Not nutty or seedy, just stick in your teeth grit.
I call for a toothpick. The toothpicks are wrapped. Untouched by nonovirus. Score one point for that.
Delightful Desserts
But the piece de resistance is the delightful dessert. Perfect prune and tamarind tart. Sensational steeple cream. Again, I preferred my partner's choice, the lick your lips prune and tamarind tart. The prune pastry base is perfect, the creamy centre is yummy and topping is munch crunchy and sugar sippy.
We don't want to leave. What else can we have here? Lemongrass and ginger tea. It looks good n the small glass teapot. I am not overwhelmed by the flavour. I think my nose is blocked from reaction to the sugar or the previous chocolate or cream. I thought I had tasted stronger ginger from squeezing sliced ginger root through through a garlic press into hot water yesterday. But my companion declares that the lemongrass is extremely aromatic. If Mr Fussy likes the smell from a plate away, it must be good.
On my way out of the restaurant I realised that the kitchen was glass sided so you could watch the busy chefs and see the spotless kitchen.
The hotel itself is undergoing renovations, of the swimming pool, some bedrooms, an additional eat and drink area and more. I must admit I was a bit disappointed. My partner in dine likes dark and traditional. I look for the wow factor. I've been to Disneyland and all over America and Asia, in restaurants with floor to ceiling aquariums, triple waterfalls, Las Vegas five star hotels with flowers around the lobbies and restaurants made into framed imitations of famous old Masters and Impressionist paintings, waitresses in cheongsams, atriums so high you nearly fall over backwards. And London's top hotel which entertains HM The Queen has just a lot of charming girls in short silk skirts and two armchairs by a fire in the lobby, enough for two people to sit, and when you are two, and a stranger has one of the chairs, you are directed to the lounge bar, and one of you loses the other.
Service charge is 12.5%.
I was banned from hiding leftovers from lunch in my handbag, gloves or boots. In any case there were no leftovers. So I had no souvenir to bring home except my photos.
Petrus restaurant gives diners a teeny cake to take home. Such a lovely idea.
Meat Fruit Recipe
I was happy to be told by my dining partner that if we ever get any really good financial news (does anybody wish to donate a lottery ticket?) I shall be treated to the a la carte menu at Dinner restaurant.
I've looked online and found a recipe for the meat fruit. You need to spend only six days making it. So if your hobby is cooking, no need to go out to Dinner, you can make your own. Unfortunately, I regard making a piece of toast in a toaster as tiresome, time-consuming, messy and dangerous. So I shall wait for the treat of Meat Fruit until I am invited to lunch or dinner at Dinner.
