Photo of Rhea by Michael Palmer in Wikipedia.
The Rear Of The Rhea Is Here
by Angela Lansbury
What is a rhea?
First I must say
It's oddly spelled
R H E A
The rhea, like its name, is absurd
Because it's a large, but flightless bird
Some people won't hear one bad word,
Ok, let's say, delightful bird
At first, when that big bird was found
They called it rhea, that's Greek for ground
South America's rhea is taller
Thank God, our Darwin rhea, here, is smaller
About the truth, about the rhea
Except of course, for me and you
Like emus, we've no work to do
We look up facts, so we are clear
In case we ever must confront
Bravely, without a tear, nor fear
That dear, but very dangerous rhea
Thousands write to support its cause
It doesn't have big teeth, lion's jaws
But don't shake hands, evade its paws!
It catches, clasps, kills - with long claws!
On good days it just eats long grass
So if you're bothered by too much grass
No time at down to mow the lawn
Just let your rhea march, munching, past
One lady thought it would be fun
To own a rhea, just start with one
It's lonely, so then you get two
But what d'you think two rheas do!
A year goes past, while drinking tea,
You look up, gasp, "Hey - I see three!"
They breed and breed, you've soon got four
Let's split them up. please shut that door
'We've not got room, what shall we do?
I'm sure they'd like some at the zoo
So take a picture. Shut that gate!'
'Sorry, one's gone - I was too late!'
Cute in National Geographic
Not fun, running round in traffic!
It's run, done something in the field
I hope that helps the farmer's yield
It's not good news, not a good day
It's dangerous - on a motorway!
They're lost, they're breeding, two, four, five
The good news is that they'll survive
It's like an ostrich, and will eat
All kinds of plants, but sometimes meat
Rodent, reptile. It's friends with deer
Stands calm by cows, if herds are near
An 'emu' was glimpsed far from home
Caught on camera, then mobile phone
Escaped rheas at first sound fun
Delays, expense, police - with guns
Although, from far, a rhea's cute
Shyly running, in its feather suit
Now it's escaped, they'll prosecute
Stop car crashes. Game keepers shoot
We should know more, we all agree
To talk this over, over tea
I'll go off to scan the media
Please read more in Wikipedia
Because there's lots more I could say
But we've not enough time today
Let's go out looking, all of us here
Before laws ban them and they disappear
Learn more about the backward rhea
See which facts we can muster
The prime use of its feathers
Is to make a feather duster
If you fly to Argentina
You'll find the rhea is no stranger
You see it on centavo coins
There they're not rare, nor endangered
Gouchos would trip up rheas with ropes
Eat eggs and meat, make leather cloaks.
Farmers are angry, rheas eat crops
Not bad, they're good! Here shooting's stopped!
If soon, the world's rheas disappear
Don't drown sorrow in tea or beer
Come to England, amigos, Hertfordshire
You'll see two rhea rears running here!
-ends-
copyright Angela Lansbury.
Inspired by controversy caused by escaped rheas by the English motorway, pursued by gunmen, eventually recaptured, or returned for lunch, instead of ending up as dinner.
Please share links to this post.
For the story about the escaped rheas causing trouble to motorway traffic, see
UK Escapes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/27050298
https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/what-s-going-on-rhea-yorkshire-police-find-an-emu-on-patrol-1-9014419
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-warning-over-aggressive-escaped-rhea-bird-on-the-loose-in-nottinghamshire-10345553.html
Escapes in Germany
http://www.10000birds.com/greater-rheas-germanys-new-big-bird.htm
For info on rheas:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhea_(bird)_
ENGLAND, UK
To see rheas go to Woburn Safari Park, England.
woburnsafari.co.uk
http://www.woburnsafari.co.uk/discover/meet-the-animals/birds/greater-rhea/
SCOTLAND
http://www.edinburghzoo.org.uk/animals-and-attractions/animals/darwins-rhea/
https://www.visitscotland.com
NORTHERN IRELAND
http://www.belfastzoo.co.uk/animals/darwins-rhea.aspx
vistibritainshop.com
CHILE, SOUTH AMERICA
Or Parc Nacional Pali Aike, Chile
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g2615237-d2461967-r346309803-Parque_Nacional_Pali_Aike-Magallanes_Region.html
https://www.cloudbirders.com/tripreport
http://www.visitchile.com/en/
ARGENTINA, SOUTH AMERICA
https://www.audleytravel.com/argentina
https://wikitravel.org/en/Argentina
