Where's My Lost Phone?

Problem
You come back from a trip out and a couple of hours later you can't find your phone. Did you leave it behind somewhere? If not, where did you put it.

Answers
Ask a friend of family member to phone it. Likely places:

1 In your coat pocket. (Or Jacket pocket). Hung up in the hall. On the back of a chair. On the floor. You are wearing it.

2 Under the newspaper or shopping bag. By the shoes you took off at the door.

3 In your bag or rucksack.

4 In the car. (Or on the car.)

5 In the bathroom. By the toilet or wash basin.

6 On the bedside table. On the bed. Under your dressing gown or clothes.

7 In your pocket on you, in the dress, coat, trousers.

8 Where were you last? In the garden? Is it on the garden table?

9 On your desk under paperwork.

10 On the floor under your dining table or desk.

11 In the outside pocket of a bag or suitcase whose inside contents you've already checked.

12 Behind the cup or coffee maker in the kitchen.

13 Under the jacket on a nearby chair.

14 Under a cushion or pillow you pushed or threw aisde.

15 Behind your laptop. As soon as you put down the lid you will find your lost phone.

16 Whose phone is near you? Have they taken your phone? Phone your phone using theirs.

17 Sitting on a surface the same colour (black on black), camouflaged, invisble. Stick something colourful on the back or edges of your phone.

18 Try Find My Phone from your laptop or computer.

Failing all else, tidy the house. Eventually you will move a bag and find it.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and phtographer, author and speaker.

Language, Quotations, Symbols and Titles Which Sell For Travel and Gifts

How times have changed. In the Sixties anybody who wore an advertising tee-shirt looked like an elderly, white haired, obsessed or depressed prophet of doom parading Oxford Street with the banner The End Is Nigh or New Shop Opening. Not illegal, not immoral, but definitely either nuts or so poor he had to accept money to walk up and down carrying advertising.

Now the trains are full of people wearing slogans, religious people wear religious symbols and quotations for holy books, national flags appear supporting football teams, witty quotations, motivational quotations.

You can wear a symbol such as a gold cross to advertise attachment to Christianity. Tee shirts and charms on bracelets or pendants to show you are a guitarist or rock band, their supporter. Skis and souvenir shirts from ski resorts show you are a skier. Scissors show you are a hairdresser or dressmaker. Wine bottles and grapes show you are in the wine business. Anybody at a trade show wears a tee-shirt advertising their business whether they are sitting down on the stand or walking about looking at other people's stands.

You can write books on language and grammar, serious books teaching English, or funny books explaining or making fun of mistakes and dialects such as books on Let's Stalk Strine or Singlish.

I bought fine bone china with card patterns to serve food at bridge parties.

I bought clothes with grape patterns and jewellery featuring wine bottles to wear at wine dinners.

I bought tee-shirt with the sayings and photos of Oscar Wilde and Edgar Allen Poe. I also nominated as birthday presents bracelets, rings and items on Banned Books.

I ordered from the Vistaprint site a bag featuring one of my books, a hat and a tee-shirt to match, business cards and stickers.

Looking at the Singlish cushion I thought, I could make and sell all sorts of products with my caricatures or sayings, or others which are out of copyright.

In medieval times the architect would sometimes the faces of his sponsors on public buildings; he might include his symbol or self-portrait or a caricature of a person he disliked hidden in the statues of a cathedral or the gargoyles.

Hitchcock gave himself a walk-on part in his later films. In the film When Harry Met Sally, the older lady who says to the waiter in the restaurant after the actress fakes an orgasm, "I'm having what she's having" is a relative of the film maker.

On this mural in Singapore the artist has included himself in the notes on local characters at Cooking Pot Bay, which is the translation of the name of the MRT (Mass transit railway station) and area, Telok B l a n g a h. 

Many authors use their books as a picture on Facebook. I have my own self-advertising.

If you want to buy a book from me, and get a signed copy, I am usually carrying either a book of quotations or a book of children's poetry or a story for and about children and a talking dog.

Angela Lansbury, author of;
Quick Quotations, and
Who Said What When
Larry the talking dog
, ten books by mainstream publishers and ten self published, more in preparation.

Singlish turned into a cushion

This c u s h i o n was on sale at the Danish Seamen's Church fair in Singapore. The seller has a Facebook page. The cushion's colours are grey with yellow piping and the word Singlish in yellow or a rather jolly and unusual turquoise.

Price for the cushion (in April 2016) was $60. I think that is just for the cover, with another $5 if you want the cushion filling. 

Why would you want the cushion cover with no filling?  To transport home on public transport when shopping at a fair.  To pack in a suitcase to travel by air to another country. So you can use a flatter filling to match other cushions or as a chair back or cushion seat. to seam two together to make a bolster.

Why would you want it with the filling? To save trouble and use it immediately. To save the time of buying a filling elsewhere. So it looks better as a gift and does not get forgotten and stuck in a cupboard. To be sure you do not buy a cushion which is too small. Not every cushion in the world is a standard size.

More details from

Meredith Davis

Little Red Dot Cushions

Irdcushions@gmail.com

tel:(+65) 8387 1050

Plus six five is the phone code for Singapore, not needed if you are in the country.

Predictive Text

The predictive check and spell checker are working hard to turn my blogs into something I did not write. S i n g l i s h turned into singles. C u s h i o n turned into f u s i o n. If, despite my efforts, without warning, you read something strange, please use your powers of deduction to work out the original, or email me through feedback. Thank you. 

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Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Union Jack Club near Waterloo station, London

Union Jack club is for all the armed services. (Unlike other London clubs specifically for the army, navy or air force.)

Delightful, entertaining photos and paintings and historic items. I saw a framed mention of Jewish services (AJEX), toastmasters, and South Africans. Plus a picture of the poppies, red around the Tower of London.

A picture of the ceramic poppies at the Tower of London.

Souvenirs and Gifts
You can also buy an oblong horizontal Union Jack design cushion for £10 and a small number of other items including a lady's scarf. I'm not sure why anybody would want to buy what looks like a china model of a bulldog bearing a union Jack, but if such a thing appeals to you, take a look.

Joining and Donating
I understand the fees are quite modest, about £30 a year. I think it's a great refuge, cheaper than a pub and safer.

Tea
We only ordered tea. I don't drink tea so I asked my companions if it was Okay. One of them said, 'Hot water and a tea bag. You can't really to anything wrong.' Free newspapers to read. Enough pictures and ornaments and displayed and news cuttings about the royal family and history to keep you busy for hours.

Toilets
I thought the place was very clean. The ladies toilet had hand wash gel and moisturiser ins dispensers like smart hotel, not much aroma, but it felt very elegant.

Verdict
If you don't have a club and want somewhere to sit or entertain friends, a great refuge. Year's membership the price of one meal out.

There's an outdoor lift to take one or two people up the flight of steps outside the building. Don't lean on the back wall as I did or you'll get a shock when the lift moves off and rubs past you. No inner door at the back.

If you are taken to the club as a visitor you might not see all it has to offer but the brochures reveal much more. In addition to the express espresso bar in the lobby, there's a restaurant, accommodation, a car park, upstairs meeting rooms and a large room for up to 180 people.
www.ujclub.co.uk

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, researcher, author, speaker.