Problem
1 You meet somebody new, the say their name and five minutes later you have forgotten. How do you remember the names of the people sitting beside you on planes, the restaurant or hotel, the group when you are holding a social or business meeting, the conference guests?
2 How do you get them to remember your name?
3 How do you remember a room full of people?
Answer
You have several ways of learning and remembering names.
These include repetition, alliteration, easy to remember names, nicknames, descriptions or the person, a halo background picture.
Remembering Individuals
1 Research a name or choose an easy name, preferably one syllable.
2 Visualise the place you met.
3 Visualise them in an imaginary house and garden or zoo with an alliterative connection.
4 Learn names in advance.
5 Attach an appearance, character, trade or profession.
6 Give or ask for a nickname.
7 Keep saying their name - and discussing their name.
8 Write it down - showing that you are doing so.
9 Write it down secretly.
10 Learn the country's popular first names and family names, and their meanings.
11 Attach some alliterative names to the places you are visiting.
Remembering groups
If you are a toastmaster at a wedding you will get a guest list printed out to announce people as they enter formally, maybe with the bride and groom first with their new name Mr And Mrs Brown, and so on. You can do this for any other occasion. If you are going to a restaurant, find out the name of the owner or manager, and ask about him on arrival. When phoning ask if the owner or manager or chef will be present, or who is speaking to you on the phone and who will be on the reception or cash desk.
Restaurants
When you reach the restaurant, even if they don't have your booking, you can say, 'I spoke to Sandra about Sicily'. If the person you met is at the door, with three others, you can ask, "which one of you is Sandra? Say, "We spoke on the phone!" and give her a big smile. If you are in luck, they will be ahead of you, and recognize you. Some of the top hotels keep cards on guests, check your birthday or star sign in your passport. When I go to Writers Holiday or Writers Summer School they keep a record of my room number and try to give me the same room every year. In a business such as a restaurant you could remember your customer's favourite cocktail and food.
Are restaurant booking people likely to mis-spell your name? You could leave your card in advance and ask them to staple it to their page for the weekend bookings. (Obviously not if you are trying to be anonymous. But good if you want to be noticed or just be sure to have a table.)
Identifying Yourself or Your Business
1 Find an alliteration or draw a caricature on your address card.
2 If you are in business, or retired with an interest in cats or cars, you can add such a symbol.
3 Add a symbol of your city to your address card or signature.
Where to find pictures?
a) Take a good picture of yourself dressed up at a family outing, wedding, Christmas party.
b) Wear your national costume or a local national costume or hat with the city or country name.
If I had been teaching English in the USA I could have worn a Union Jack tee-shirt in the USA. If I had been too shy to wear it in public, I could have photographed myself in it and had that picture printed on my address card.
Companies such as Able Label and Vistaprint have a huge stock of visuals you can add to cards.
c) If you are teaching English to a class of a dozen or more children or adults, the same people on a regular basis, create a list of names with the national flag or country map. No time? First lesson in class, teach everybody to say a sentence, ideally alliterative, and find one for every country or every letter of the alphabet, such: as
I am Al from America
I am from Brussels in Belgium
I came from Cambodia
I am Chinese from China
I live in London,
I am learning in London
I am Mr Lim from London
I am Larry from LA
I am Mike from Middlesex, Mike the Magician
I am new to New York
I am relocating to Russia
I am a citizen of Singapore
I come from sunny Singapore
Examples.
1 If you call yourself Paul the plumber or Mike the magician and sign yourself that way you increase the number of people who will remember you. I call myself Angela the Author. (This also distinguishes me from Angel the actress.)
We picked Lemongrass and Ginger hotel in Cambodia. No trouble remembering the name to tell a taxi driver when there or even remember it weeks later.
2 If you are looking for a hotel in New York, USA, America, pick a hotel with the letters N Y U S A. Always stay in hotels which start with your own initials. Pick an international hotel in your price range, always stay in one of them, keep their directory at home or on your laptop, and join their loyalty scheme. Pick a hotel near a landmark or railway station so you can always get a taxi back easily, see the route on a map and know your driver is going in the right direction, and ask passers by for the way. On arrival at a hotel or office building, ask for the best known landmark in the street or area.
Big Meetings
When I was teaching another teacher showed me how to draw a plan of the classroom with boxes for the tables. It helps if you have a list of pupils. The school has the list. They might not think to give it to you in advance unless you ask. You might want to keep a list by surnames and a list by first names. Learn to pronounce the difficult names, and identify the country of origin or the name.
In Singapore we had to take a class register. It was not just for fun. It was a regulation, a requirement. This was done so the government could check that people with a student visa claiming to be students were actually attending a class and not working.
Table Plan
WhenI draw a plan of the table and the number of chairs around it with dots or boxes. I do this when I go to a toastmasters international club meeting in Singapore, or am involved with organising a wine tasting evening around a long table in a private room in a restaurant in London, whether I am a n organiser or guest, I draw a plan of the table and the number of chairs, write in my own name, add the people either side, or the name of the VIP at the top, and add the names of attendees or latecomers down the side so I can identify them fast when they shout or mumble their names. Then I can write the correctly spelled name on my chart, or even just the initial.
At a wedding or conference you will often have a table plan with a list of guests outside. You can photograph your table, learn the names of the people you will sit next to. Find them in the drinks reception in advance, decide if you want to be sitting next to them, or recognize them or walk in with them so two of you can circulate in opposite directions to locate your table number. If you already have their business card, you already know their name, and their spouse or college before you it down.
Changing places
I go into the hall and check where I will be sitting. Am I near enough to hear the speeches? Am I far enough from a noisy band? Am I near an exit if I feel claustrophobic, need to run to the toilet or to take a mobile phone call? Am I near enough to the buffet to get the smoked salmon? Am I far enough to avoid the temptation to eat two chocolate desserts?
Is it free seating - if so which table is my favourite? Am I seated next to my spouse? (Let's swap the cards so we separate - we've been talking all day. Let's both meet two new people.) Am I too far from my family and colleagues? Maybe get together to share drinks and stories.
Am I miles away from the VIP? Let's find him at the reception, in case he/she leaves earlier and we don't meet. I can hand my business card and say what we have in common. Maybe he or she will be left lonely in a crowd of foreigners speaking another language and come and find me to talk.
You also want to see if you need to be in contact with the organisers. On the other hand, the PR may be giving you a sales pitch all evening preventing you from doing your own networking and stopping you from making a date with the attractive person you spy elsewhere. The way to escape and be popular is to say you don't want to monopolies them and introduce them to somebody else who will be a good prospect for them.
Keep moving. For example, "Dear public company PR, you must meet my husband, would you like a drink - I'll get you one. ... Hello, again, So sorry, I got waylaid by your charming, boss / PR lady / guest.)
Now, how can I help you to remember my posts?
Author
Angela Lansbury the author from London, speaker in Singapore, internet inspiration, inspiring teacher of English and your local languages on the internet, top travel tips and photos.
