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Monday, September 23, 2013

Poetry, Comedy, Doggerel on Gravestones At Great Bedwyn

 Before driving back to London from our stay in Little Bedwyn, we indulged in a spot of sightseeing, allowing an hour to drive up the road to find Great Bedwyn, where quaint houses surrounded the old station. An even greater delight for history buffs and photographers is in Great Bedwyn shopping area, where opposite the church a relief sculpture of the Last Supper adorns on the side of the  post office. At ground level the post office is walled with headstones dated 1704 and 1802, presumably saved from a church. Several stones displayed amusing doggerel about the departed.
***
'Here lies John Higgs
A famous man for killing pigs ...
His knife is laid His work is Done
I hope to Heaven his Soul has Gone.'
***
From 1817:
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In memory of James Culley who died March 4.1817 Aged 64 Years.
My Breath was short my Labour hard
While on the Earth I did remain
But now the Lord hath taken me
From all earthly Labour Grief and Pain.
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Here Lies of Late the Landlord of the Lion
Departed Hence to be with Zion
The Son inclined to his earhly Will
And carries on the Business still.
***
Curiously, the stonemason has carved double sized capital letters for the words he wants to emphasize.
I foresee a great future career for myself, writing poems for gravestones. Alas nowadays the jobsworths are making rules confining the wording of gravestones to cliches form the bible. Jealous nobodies will not allow even a comment on the job or foibles of a rival dead person. So nothing complimentary nor amusing is allowed about the individual whose memory the loved ones wish to preserve. In the good old days, the headstone's doggerel acted as an attraction-gaining advertising for one's family. The rhyme preserved the memory and the individual personality.
Maybe one could bypass the graveyard censors' system by installing one's gravestone on a post office. A nice little earner for the post office. How about posters for obituaries? I feel another novelty career sprouting in my brain. At least I can write my own here and now and enjoy a chuckle to share with you:

Comic Obituary For Angela
by Angela Lansbury BA Hons

Here is a rhyme an author wrote
Hoping that she would be of note
So that when fate has called her home
If her gravestone is bare, alone
She can be sure none will forget
Her last words on the internet
She wrote ten books, more words to please
For a free sample, copy these.
Angela Lansbury
Writer of comic verse

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