This week I went to a funeral in the UK. I wore black.
Everybody else wore all black.
The invitation said nothing about the dress code.
I know lots of funerals nowadays people wear mixed colours. Some invitations specify wearing jolly colours.
My friend Christine at the funeral told me, "Always wer black. Unles it specifies otherwise, the rule is, wear black."
I had my usual blue anorak with the hood with me. I left it in the car. In the boot of the car, in case anybody broke into the car hoping to find money in the pockets or because they wanted a coat to wear or sell. The safest thing is to leave a completely empty car. At least everything in the boot so the car looks empty. I could have kept the blue anorak in my black tote bag.
As soon as we drove into the chapel driveway, I looked at the other guests and their clothes. I saw all black.
Off came my blue anorak. Thank goodness I had a black coat.
The Black Funeral Coat
My black coat was from Marks & Spencer. It has a spare button. No hood.
The Blouse
Most people were dressed completely in black. I thought mostly black, with a white blouse - mostly covered by something dark, would do. It was a white blouse with black edging around the neck and cuffs.
Is A Black Hat Suitable For Pedestrians?
I needed a black hat, too. To complete my all black look.
However, I did not risk taking a black hat. I knew I might be coming back late at night and you should always wear somthing white at night, for safety, being seen when crosing roads.
Hiding A White Hat
The essential white hat could go hidden inside my tote back during the daytime funeral. The white hat stayed inside the tote bag when I was indoors at the funeral and reception.
When I was planning my outfit,I wondered aloud, 'Will I be cold walking to a gravesite?"
My husband pointed out, "It's a cremation, so you won't be walking to a gravesite."
Nonetelss, as I suspected,we stood around outdoors near the exit from the chapel after the funeral service. Some people would be going back to work or going back home and not on to the Reception, so it was a chance for them to speak to the widow and family.
The Guests - the Magic Circle
Our deceased friend had been a member of wine socities and a judge at bontests for beer, wine and spirits.
Some of the guests were members of a wine society or two or three (beer and spirits too. Others were members of the Magic Circle.
Condolence Cards & Book Signing
I had guessed that we might either be asked to speak or sign a condolence book wit our memories. What the family want to hear are praises for their loved one and facts about orgnaizations they were involved in, which might not be known to the family. So I took care to ask my family what memories they had of speaking to him, where they met him. I was able to get a record of the correct names of the organizations. Sometimes one's brain searches for a day for memories. I wanted my brain to start searching from the day before, not at the funeral and for the day after.
The Black Scarf
Just before leaving the reception, after saying goodbye to the deceased man's mother, I put on a warm woolly scarf which I had in my tote bag. It was wine red. (Not as bright as it looks in the photo.)
At home I had a black scarf which I shall use next time I am attending a funeral.
Warming Food And Drink
To lift our spirits on arrival we were offered Bucks Fizz (half champagne and half orange juice), or plain Champagne, or plain orange juice.
Before leaving we could have warmed up with hot coffee or a herbal tea. Why do I mention hot coffee? Isn't coffee always hot? No.. Having travelled the world, and lived in the USA, I know that in the hot south of North America, in summer, the Americans drink iced tea.
We had a mixture of cold sandwiches and hot food.
It is a small satifaction to feel that one has dressed suitably.
-ends-
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