I remember my wedding in London, UK, when I was in a long white dress and my father galloped so fast along the aisle to the ceremony that I nearly tripped over the front of my dress.
In theory, when you are merely a guest, everything should run smoothly, just lots of eating and drinking and admiring the bride and watching quaint customs. The romantic canopy for the couple.It is called a huppah. I know all about the couple standing under the canopy and the groom breaking a glass underfoot.
Huppah, Vienna, Austria, 2007. Photo by Gryffindor, from article in Wikipedia on Jewish weddings.
For the fourth time in my life I am invited to an Orthdox Jewish wedding.It brings up memories of all the hiccups and surprises.
Flag of Israel
ISRAELI WEDDING
Wedding of bride, A..., in Tel Aviv, Israel.
I assumed that a wedding after 6 pm it would be religious and like London, formal clothes, long skirts and hats. However, most Israelis are modern, like most American Jews. The wedding was outdoors with the couple under a canopy, yes. Hot weather, growing cooler. Adults and children in shorts and men in short-sleeved shirts. An evening garden party. I looked a bit over-dressed. Clothes were the least of my worries.
I was just happy to be there in time. Luckily it started late.
I had been stopped at the airport on entering Israel by security who wanted to know, 'Why are you here?'
'To attend a wedding.'
'What is the name of the bride?'
'I haven't a clue. I know the family of the groom. The invitation was all in Hebrew.'
Eventually, after some delay, security matched me up with other family members who could supply the name of the bride and the address of the event.
UK wedding
You would think a wedding in London would be easier. The wedding of a bride, R......., in London, England. Known her for years. She was at nursery with my child. Her mother was my travel agent. What could go wrong?
I went to the synagogue. I went inside. I went to speak to the bride's mother. She told me to go and see the bride in the waiting room before the wedding ceremony.
She was seated on a low sofa surrounded by the voluminous skirts of her long white dress. She did not stand up.
I congratulated the bride. She did not reply but muttered in Hebrew. She waved her Hebrew prayer book at me.
Eventually she stopped reading. She explained she could not reply to me because she was reading her obligatory or customary per-wedding prayers in Hebrew from a prayer book.
I need to brush up on my Hebrew. I can say Mazel tov, good luck (literally luck good, adjective comes second).
Duolingo
To learn Hebrew you could try Duolingo or Tinycards.
Recently I received information about another forthcoming wedding.
I made a list of my thoughts on the next wedding but did not want to overwhelm the bride, so I have made notes and have recorded them so I can have something to say to her when we meet before the wedding which is not until a year or so away.
GUEST LIST
I would like a guest list including names of rabbi, best man, relationsiip, also photos so we can recognize people, especailly VIP granny or aunty, brothers, from overseas we have never seen before.
INTRODUCTIONS
WHAT TO SAY
Add a word or two about each guest, eg professions or hobbies or home city, especailly of anybody with whom we have something in common so we can speak eg about journalism, teaching, living overseas.
WHAT NOT TO SAY
Also I need to know who is sick/terminall ill/bereaved/ widowed/ so I don't ask a widow, 'Where is your husband?'
On the guest list is a friend whose son, a journalist, died a year ago. The young man was our son's schoolfriend.
It is a serious situation. A friend of mine, Y, was unexpectedly widowed when her husband died of a heart attack the month before her brother's second wedding. My friend opted to attend the ceremony, where she would just be standing silently watching, but not the reception so she did not have to speak to anybody and did not cast a dampner on their jolly evening.
It is a serious situation. A friend of mine, Y, was unexpectedly widowed when her husband died of a heart attack the month before her brother's second wedding. My friend opted to attend the ceremony, where she would just be standing silently watching, but not the reception so she did not have to speak to anybody and did not cast a dampner on their jolly evening.
WEDDING FAUX PAS
On a lighter note, at my wedding I introduced two young men who lived in the same city. They seemed very surprised to be introduced.
I asked, 'Do you know each other?'
The older one revealed, 'Yes, very well. We live in the same house. We are brothers!'
Author
Angela Lansbury
Author of: Wedding Speeches & Toasts; How to be the Best Man.
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