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Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Managing an online meeting or contest, dropouts, depressions, threatened suicides and reliability





When I took on the role or president of a Toastmasters club  which trains speakers I thought that the main role was to give a cheerful (if possible motivational) speech at the start of the meeting.

In my, so far, 9 months of the required 12, I have noticed the following challenges and solutions.

1 Members do not commit until the last minute.

2 Members drop out without warning.

3 Members are upset at not winning or getting discouraging remarks from others.

You need to have an arrangement about
1 when you are available and
2 Regular reports or feedback - or what prevents you working and giving feedback
3 Who to contact in an emergency
4 when you will return.

1 You might be available in office hours but not evenings when family such as partner and children take priority.
You might be busy at work, but available in the evenings.

You might be able to answer quick one liners, under five minutes. but not long chats.

2 One system is to say that people who drop out must find a replacement.

You could say that you are always available and if you don't reply there could be a transport delay or medical or family emergency. If you have a dying relative or sick child, let people know. Then they won't think you have snubbed them or worry what they said to upset you but will realize the problem is at your end.

If the boss makes meetings when you have a wedding anniversary, one way around this would be to ask your boss for advice on a good restaurant for your wedding anniversary on the last Friday of the month. Then when he arranges a meeting he already knows that you will be inviting your wife for an anniversary dinner. If he still call the meeting then, because others are in flight, or he's travelling abroad, ask what you should do about losing your money to the restaurant which won't refund and what kind of flowers to send your wife. With luck the company will compensate you.

When you call a meeting, or dinner, it's best to give two alternative dates and ask if there is a good reason why anybody cannot attend either of those dates. Send minutes of the missed meeting to those who could not attend. Cut down the length of meetings. Or extend the meeting and allow some people to attend the first half and others to attend the second half (starting with a summary of the disccusion or agreement in the first half. Those unable to attend can send a monthly report.

Collecting Regular Feedback
When I worked as a sub editor on a woman's magazine at IPC, we had a daily meeting at 5 pm. Everybody summarised what they had done and anything not done and any problems. For example, if somebody could not find a good alliterative title for an article, all were invited to say suggestions, or  offer to do the job overnight.

Similarly you could ask for monthly reports from club secretaries and treasurers.

3 Your passport has an emergency contact number. A club should have one also. We had a member of a Toastmasters club in the UK who had heart trouble. If he had fallen ill during a meeting, who to call to ask if he was ok? Who to call to say one of us had accompanied him to hospital?
Who to call to ask if he was ok at home, without waking him or hasseling him?

Personal/Family Messages
In Singapore we received a text saying a member who was not first in a contest was going to kill herself. Who lived nearby? Who to call to check on her?

What plans do you have for members suffering from bullying, conflict, depression? Do you have a counsellor? Or a fact sheet.

In the USA if you see a suicide on a bridge, or a person in a seige holding others in a school, a building, a forest, a car, who knows their parent's number to call?

Universal WhatsApp Messages
In the USA some schools and universisties have a number to reach everybody in the case of an emergency such as fire, flood or active shooter.

Rehearsing Winning And Losing Speeches
When you go for a contest, whether it is for the Oscar's or a club meeting, you should have a speech prepared ready for
WINNER
SECOND
THIRD
NOT PLACED
DISQUALIFIED

Each candidate could rehearse being winner. Thank the trainers and helpers, not a boring list of names which will bore the audience, but naming specific advice or help. The rivals who lost should also be congratulated. Without them their would be incentive to practise, no joy. If the winner is disqualified from competing again, you could say how much you look forward to seeing them, how you are willing to train them to give them the edge.

Then practise being runner up. Again, the excellence to emulate, the incentive to try harder and try again.

What of the contest chair, maybe to pick on good points of all the speeches, or contestants.

What of the report by the loser. I saw one person at division level saying that he lost by about six votes, so if four people had voted differently he would have won, and he intended to stand again for office the following year - with another year of experience to add to his credentials.

Upbeat Speeches
Some speeches follow a pattern, I was a despised failure but I am now a success. You have to watch that the message ends on a happy note.

Coping With Failure
There are two dangers. the listener is depressed. The singer or speaker is depressed. After Amy Winehouse died, I listened to her hits, her winning songs. Back to black. Her own songs were all about depression. A speaker in Singapore, before she even heard the results of the speech, repeated the depressing opening words of her own speech. this rather destroyed the message that she was now a hopeful person, determined to succeed.

Two days later she was right as rain. But had spoiled the day of success for the winner. And worried her supporters. We put so much effort into helping the shy to envisage success. but perhaps we need more effort to help them through the setbacks.  ote

We quote Edison a lot. He said, 'I have not failed 1000 times. I have learned 1000 ways not to do it.'

I am now wondering how much more effort we must make, coaching candidates to cope with both setbacks and success.

To end on a practical note:
In Singapore we often have a whatsapp group for those attending a particular meeting. In the case of the building being closed, Covid19 banning meetings, or the meeting cancelled because of falling numbers, we can tell people not to go to the venue and a new date or the online meeting date and login details

Planning Succession
Who do you want to take over as President, Treasurer, secretary. One system is to have people rotating so they are ready to take on another role next week, next month or next year.

Is the President reliable? (We have seen US President Kennedy shot dead, and Boris in hsoital with Covid 19. Is somebody else ready to take over? Are they reliable?

Are they willing to commit, and to tell others about the commitment?

If the president is absent, the person who takes over could be the previous president, or the future president.

Ultimately, it is PR. For yourself, your family, your neighbours, your religion, your country, your world. What is the story you are telling?

Angela Lansbury, author, trainer.
Author, Author! About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. (Not related to the actress.)
Author of twenty books including: Quick Quotations; Who Said What When.
See books and profiles on Lulu.com and Amazon, such as Wedding Speeches & Toasts. Also watch videos on YouTube.
See other posts on singers and statues and languages and destinations.

About Speech Training
If you want to learn to speak the Queen's English, or Received Pronunciation. join me at my online toastmasters club,
Braddell Heights Advanced. Wednesdays, 7-9.30 Singapore time which is seven hours ahead of London, England.
I am also a member of
Singapore Online.9-12 pm, Singapore time, Fridays. I am also a member of
Tampines Changkat Advanced.
Harrovians, London.
Toastmasters International Find a Club
lulu.com/shop/angela-lansbury/who-said-what-when/paperback/product-21713991
learncool.sg

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