Collecting Your Own Jokes On Holiday

I have been to several Toastmasters International meetings when we have all been asked to tell a joke. One's mind goes blank. Unless you are one of the few comedians who spend their life telling non-stop jokes.

The trick is to keep a log of all your family jokes. Often another person's story reminds you of one of your own. On Facebook I saw a story about a woman with failing sight who too a book back to the library and apologized for the fact that it was overdue. The librarian replied, "Don't worry. It isn't a library book."

Love it. I expect she always wondered why her friend wouldn't talk to her.

We once sent back a bill in an Indian restaurant which was added up wrongly. Several waiters pored over the bill, and kept giving us funny looks.

My husband started muttering: "I could see at a glance the total was wrong. Can't any of them add up. What's wrong? We are regular customers. I don't know why they don't admit that I was right."

Eventually, the manager returned to tell us that he had conceded, "Yes, you were right, sir. It was added up wrongly. But don't worry, it wasn't your table's bill."

If you write down on the back page of your diary all the funny misunderstandings on holiday, you will have a fund of funny stories to re-tell later.

We had a different kind of mishap on our birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant. We waited forever for our birthday cake. A cake had been taken to another table, who had started their meal after us. I stared diconsolately at their cake. Eventually, despite my son's protests, "no, Mum, you are not to go up and ask about their cake," I could not resist going up to them.

I said, "How's the cake. We ordered a birthday cake, too, but it hasn't arrived yet. You don't took too pleased. Doesn't it taste nice?"

The wife said, "The cake is fine. But it's a birthday cake. And we are celebrating our wedding anniversary."

I asked, "Did you tell them?"

"Yes, but they haven't produced our cake yet."

I reported straight back to my son who immediately identified the problem. They got your birthday cake. The kitchen now has to make a new wedding anniversary cake for them, followed by a new birthday cake for us. Meanwhile, the chef is blaming the waiter. The waiter is blaming the chef. The owner is threatening to fire both of them. They are threatening to walk out."

The two restaurants have both gone out of business.

About the author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Revelation! Why English spelling does not match the sounds you hear and should say

If you want to write a language the way you hear it, try learning Malay-Indonesian or Esperanto. Apparently Russian is pretty consisten as well.

A lot of jokes are made about English spelling, in fact whole humorous poems are written about English spelling, challenging anybody who does not speak English.

When I used to consider this question of irregular English spelling, and how it fails to match what is said, especially after I was asked by pupils, I used to condiser the cause was the variety of languages which ae the source.

Now I have a different theory to include in my repertoire of reasons. The Wikipedia explanation goes on for ages and is very complicated. To sum it up in no more than a sentence or two: In the Middle ages pronounciation changed, possibly after French influence declined. Wards caused anti-French feeling and words were given Anglicised pronounciation. Howere, the old spelling was retained. Look at it another way, pronunciation changed but spelling did not change.

Now you know. if you are trying to understand others, or to teach English in an overseas country, here are your points of reference.

Simple Wiki is too simple. Just a couple of setnences. It gives the authors who are the source of this theory, and the time period when the change allegedly occurred, but does not give any examples.

More Information From
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Vowel_Shift
https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Vowel_Shift

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author, speaker, teacher and trainer, specilist in the English language, aspiring polyglot (speaker of many languages).

Happiness jar - holiday souvenirs? What do you collect? Souvenirs of the holiday, year, or day?

A friend on Facebook mentioned their Happiness jar. What a great idea. I must make a happiness jar. 

How about a travel memory jar, too. But it would be full of chocolate wrappers from restaurants. In the old days it was matchbook covers. That's just restaurants.

What about hotel souvenirs? If you are lucky you can get hotel pens with names. Or shower gels. (Too big for a jar. I used to collect travel brochures, maps and postcards. I used to send myself a postcard to get the stamp.

What do you collect?

I have a five year diary. It should be a happiness diary. 

I could add a happy saying, motivational quotation, or humorous quotation.

I could quote the family. Or write down a family joke.

In each country of the day I could write a proverb or saying.

I could go through the countries of the world and learn about a new country every day.
PS Jan 3
***
I looked up souvenir songs to see if I can find something happy. Souvenirs to Souvenirs sung by Demis Roussos is a miserable song about seeing reminders of a lost love. Is it any coincidence that his surname ends SOS! That was how I remembered the spelling of his name. I'll look for some happier songs - to cheer me and you.

You can see this post was written - but I've updated it later. Re-writing history. However, I'll create a new post under today's date - so read on subsequent posts.