Collecting Your Own Jokes On Holiday

I have been to several Toastmasters International meetings when we have all been asked to tell a joke. One's mind goes blank. Unless you are one of the few comedians who spend their life telling non-stop jokes.

The trick is to keep a log of all your family jokes. Often another person's story reminds you of one of your own. On Facebook I saw a story about a woman with failing sight who too a book back to the library and apologized for the fact that it was overdue. The librarian replied, "Don't worry. It isn't a library book."

Love it. I expect she always wondered why her friend wouldn't talk to her.

We once sent back a bill in an Indian restaurant which was added up wrongly. Several waiters pored over the bill, and kept giving us funny looks.

My husband started muttering: "I could see at a glance the total was wrong. Can't any of them add up. What's wrong? We are regular customers. I don't know why they don't admit that I was right."

Eventually, the manager returned to tell us that he had conceded, "Yes, you were right, sir. It was added up wrongly. But don't worry, it wasn't your table's bill."

If you write down on the back page of your diary all the funny misunderstandings on holiday, you will have a fund of funny stories to re-tell later.

We had a different kind of mishap on our birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant. We waited forever for our birthday cake. A cake had been taken to another table, who had started their meal after us. I stared diconsolately at their cake. Eventually, despite my son's protests, "no, Mum, you are not to go up and ask about their cake," I could not resist going up to them.

I said, "How's the cake. We ordered a birthday cake, too, but it hasn't arrived yet. You don't took too pleased. Doesn't it taste nice?"

The wife said, "The cake is fine. But it's a birthday cake. And we are celebrating our wedding anniversary."

I asked, "Did you tell them?"

"Yes, but they haven't produced our cake yet."

I reported straight back to my son who immediately identified the problem. They got your birthday cake. The kitchen now has to make a new wedding anniversary cake for them, followed by a new birthday cake for us. Meanwhile, the chef is blaming the waiter. The waiter is blaming the chef. The owner is threatening to fire both of them. They are threatening to walk out."

The two restaurants have both gone out of business.

About the author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.