Travel, Quarantine, Absence, Silence, Texting, Polite Enquiries and Expressing Sympathy

 

When you are travelling people text you and get irate when there is no reply.

You have to alert them to the fact that you will be out of touch. You do not have to tell them that you are away from home or which country you are in. 

You should also be understanding about people who do not reply. If somebody does not reply, see things from their point of view.

What could be the matter?

TIME ZONE TROUBLE

They are asleep in a different time zone.

They are at work in a different time zone.

They have crossed the time line. Your weekday is their weekend off. Your weekend off is their weekday at work.

TRANSIT 

They are ordering airline seats and meals and cannot stop or they lose what they have just spent 20 minutes typing.

They are packing.

They are hunting for suitcase keys.

They are phoning for a taxi.

They are in a plane with no access to wifi or asked to switch off during take off and landing.

They are in a long airport security queue where use of cameras and phone is banned.

They are being interrogated by security on exit.

They are pushing a trolley.

They are directing a taxi driver.

ARRIVING OVERSEAS

They are greeting long-lost friends and family.

They are meeting neighbours.

They are ordering food.

They are dealing with dust, mould, weeds, leaks, defrosted food, repairs, gardeners.

They are burgled and need to deal with police, insurance company, window repairs, door repairs, receipts for the items stolen.

They are dealing with doctors, dentists, opticians, eye test and fames, hospital appointments, banks and unsurance, council tax, subscriptions, undelivered mail.

CONFERENCES

They are driving along the motorway.

They are at a rest stop using the bathroom and washing hands.

They are watching their suitcase and car.

They are watching surroundings for pickpockets in a street or market or crowd or empty street.

They are hurrying home after dark and need to watch the paving stones, tree roots and   traffic.

 They are speaking on stage.

They are in the audience where all are asked to switch off phones or leave phones by the door.

MEALS

They are cooking meals. They are washing up.

They are buying gifts for a visit.

They are visiting long lost friends and family and meeting new people.

They are holding a baby, or toddler, or babysitting. 

They are swimming or playing tennis, or another sport.

They are in the bathroom, shower or bath where their phone must be kept out of water and they won't want to accidentally broadcast sound and vision.

CRISIS 

They are visiting dying relatives at home or hospital. They want to give the patient their full attention and not answer 500 people on Facebook and whatsapp asking can we chat.

They are in a motorway accident. 

Or just filling up with petrol.

They are in a supermarket queue buying petrol.

They are at a wedding or funeral.

They are dealing with a lawyer or handing the executing documents and reporting deaths. The execution of a will, sending off numbers and particulars.

They are hunting for credit cards and pin numbers. Or for their passport.s

If somebody does not reply, or does not turn up, and they usually do so, it is not appropriate to get angry and demand why are you not answering me. It would be more reasonable and kinder, and more likely to get a result if you showed goodwill, and concern by asking, is everything okay? 

They could be ill or have a sick family member. If other people are nearby, they might not want to reveal the reason. They are not going to stand next to their dying relative shouting, "He's gonna die any minute!"

So, remember these suggestions>

Don't take it (silence) personally.

Don't demand a long, detailed reply. 

If a person is in a crisis situation they may be too busy.

Or, too anxious to answer a direct question.

Silence After Bereavement

I was once asked a question on the phone by a representative of a Commonwealth war graves commission. They asked, "When did he die. How old was he?" 

The young age at which my mother's first husband died suddenly hit me. I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out.

The death was in WWII. Neither the person asking the question, nor I, expected me to suddenly get upset.

I suddenly and unexpectedly completely lost my voice.

A little sympathy goes a long way.

On another occasion I called my neighbour. She answered, "You sound a bit out of breath. Are you okay?" 

I replied, "Yes - I'm okay, but  - my mother just died!"

She answered, "Where are you? By the front door? Stay there. Open the door. I'm coming right over."

What if the silence is from somebody on holiday and you need a quick answer to a question, for example, about money.

If you are calling from overseas to somebody who has not called back about a responsibility, you can phone.

We had a club treasurer who was away overseas. We did not want to disturb him when he was on holiday. Eventually we called. We found out he was at a funeral.

When phoning, you could offer, 

"Is this a convenient moment? What time is it there?" 

"Are you okay? Is everybody else at your end okay? Is there anything I can do to help? Is there anybody I can inform? Do you need anybody to cover for you?" 

"Have you any idea when you might return? How long are you likely to be needed there?"

"Is there a better time for me to talk to you? Feel free to call me back. When is there a good time to call you?"

Try to end on a positive note.

"It was good talking to you. I am glad you are okay." 

Respect their privacy.

"I can tell people for you, if you would like me to. Who should I tell? I will tell everybody/Where should people send message of sympathy?"

Alternatively, if appropriate,  "I won't tell anybody. I won't tell them yet.  We can leave it until you get back. That's fine. I understand."

 

A friend of mine was having a stressful day and complained that two years ago somebody had told her they wished she would die. Six other people had already replied with supportive messages saying the writer was a great person.

I thought, two years ago is a long time and time to stop worrying and move on. I thought, in the long run we are all dead. But the insulting person had wanted death straight away. That did not happen. My friend had survived that day and two more years, and might well lead a long life,  

Samaritans Of Singapore

Singapore

https://www.sos.org.sg/

https://www.moh.gov.sg/covid-19/faqs/faqs---leave-of-absence-(loa)-stay-home-notice-(shn)-and-quarantine-order-(qo)

Malaysia

www.befrienders.org.my

USA

 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

About the author

See previous posts.

 

What time is it around the world? How to find out and remember

 

What time is it in another part of the world? When can you phone them or hold a meeting?

If you are making calls to your family overseas and just need one time zone, you have several options.

The Phone Alarm

You could arrange to phone your family every week at the same time. Set your phone alarm to alert yourself. Ask your family to set their alarms.

A Second Watch

You could set a watch to the other time zone. Either wear it, or place it on your desk in a tray labelled with the country, or hang it from a hook on the pinboard. You might be able to use the strap, or attache a thread or elastic band through part of the strap. If the watch hangs upside down, use a second hole in the strap or another point to attach a second thread.

A second clock

A cheap clock or an old clock can be placed on your wall or over a bookend on the desk. Again, label it with the country.

GMT

If you are doing a poster, add a standard time zone. For example Greenwich Mean Time GMT + or GMT-.

Note that another country may be on a different day.  A meeting evening in Canada, Newfoundland, on Sunday, was first thing in the morning, Monday morning, in Singapore. 

Note the daylight savings times.

In the USA on March 12 the clocks changed to Daylight Savings Time, DST.

If you are arranging or publicising a meeting, include as many time zones as you can. 

Useful Websites (alphabetically)

Just delete Singapore before searching, or change Singapore your home destination once in a conversion website

https://greenwichmeantime.com/time/to/gmt-singapore/

https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converted.html

https://www.worldtimeserver.com/convert_time_in_

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_zone

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a British author who has lived in the USA.

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer.

Angela Lansbury teacher of English (advanced and English as a Second Language or English as a Foreign Language, French and other languages, aspiring polyglot.

Angela Lansbury, author and speaker. Member of many toastmasters  speaker training clubs and speaking contest judge.

Angela Lansbury, the author of 20 books including Wedding Speeches & Toasts, and Quick Quotations, has lived in the USA, Spain and Singapore. 

She  has several blogs and writes daily on at least two of the following:

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Please share links to your favourite posts.

More photos and text today 

What time is it in LA, Chicago, New York and London, England? Pacific, Central and Eastern time

Problem
A webinar asks me to sign up and choose a time. What time is it where?

Answers
The webinar says the times available are:

Pacific                                 Central                    Eastern
(Los Angeles)                     (Chicago)                New York
10 am                                  Noon                       1 pm

2 pm                                    4 pm                        5 pm

My laptop, set to UK time, says that the meeting starts one day or two ahead plus such and such a time which is 5 hours ahead.


Pacific                                 Central                    Eastern
(Los Angeles)                     (Chicago)                New York           UK
10 am                                  Noon                       1 pm                   6 pm

2 pm                                    4 pm                        5 pm                   UK 10 pm

I can't find a tab for columns on blogger.com in which I create posts for blogspot.com on which you read posts. However, I shall check to see this looks OK.

I now have a magic, easy to understand comparison of time zones in the USA, plus a comparison between the USA, all three regions, and the UK. I can sign up for a webinar, recommend it to friends in the UK when they are at home in the day rather than out for the evening, or returned from work.

As soon as I clicked publish on this post I got the feedback that people in the USA were the greatest number of those logging onto my post. But the second highest number was people in Germany. (Could be Americans in Germany.) So to help them I thought I must check the time difference between the UK and Germany.

I bet most people in Germany know. However, the clocks changed last week. Also, as a freelance writer and former sub-editor I know don't rely on what you think - ALWAYS CHECK!

Germany - and most of Europe, is one hour ahead. That means that 10 am in the UK is 11 am in Berlin.  11 am in the UK is noon - are they about to go out to lunch in Berlin? Or are they free to chat about non-work items and watch videos? Noon in the UK is 1 pm in Germany. 2 pm in the Uk is 3 pm 3 pm in German. 4 pm in the UK is 5 pm in German - are they going home - is their switchboard no longer answering? 6 pm in the UK will be 7 pm in Germany - are they home already, not keep to take business calls when they are with family? A really handy comparison.

When recording videos, podcasts, and speeches, I must remember not to say good morning, afternoon or evening, unless I explain when the recording was made, but instead say, hello. because people could be watching the recording any time.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please save and share links to your favourite posts.       

Ill over Christmas? Can't Cook? Lonely or Alone In December or January? The Answer - travel to later celebrations

Problem
You are ill over Christmas and can't enjoy it. A relative by marriage tells me and the world on Facebook that she is too ill to celebrate Christmas. She is too ill to get out of bed, go out, cook, taste the food, indulge in Christmas food, cook or drink alcohol. I have managed to celebrate Christmas with others from early December through to mid-January. How?

Answer
Rest
In my experience I get ill if I am doing too much and not getting enough rest. Some years I feel I have been travelling too much on crowded buses, trains and planes and mixing with too many crowds and breathing too many of other people's germs. Eventually something goes. Illness is my body's way of going on strike and telling me to go to bed and get some rest. After a day's sleep, I feel rested, better. Going to a club party means minimum effort organixing food, although some parties are pot luck.

December 25th, 2017, Chritmas Day at rooftop bar, Singapore. Just pay $22 entry per person for admission which includes $2 towards food, then add $2 to order a $24 platter of pizza.

Singapore's Early Christmas Parties In December
In Singapore the Francophone Toastmasters club which meets the first Friday of the month had their Christmas party at the start of December.

Changing Dates and Time Zones
In Singapore Christmas ends on Boxing Day (which is a holiday in the UK and some Commonwealth countries). However, if you wish, you can celebrate the 12 days of Christmas and leave up the decoration until January 6th.

Going Out To Meet Friends On Boxing Day
In London we used to meet a specific group of friends for a Boxing Day evening get together at a restaurant. This is a good system for a group including mixed nationalities, mized religions, couples with mixed marriages, or small families where you cannot have Chrsitmas Day at granny's, mother's, or one sister's home and boxing day at the other sister or sister-in-law or brother-in law.

I asked a Chinese single lady who has eight brothers and sisters and a clan of three generations, "Do you have a pot luck party?"

She said, "No. Americans like pot lucks. We are all too busy working, often from 7 am.  I teach in a local primary school.  Some of my family get home at 7 or eight or even nine at night. Too tired and busy to cook. We have a catering company delivery a buffet for our big family."

In Singapore our Indian friends organize an annual Boxing Day lunch at an Indian restaurant. The husband says, "It is because 'Judy' (his wife) is a teacher always has that day off from teaching." His wife teaches English and French at American and ex-pat schools.

Singapore's Late December Celebrations
Bishan Toastmasters club has a meeting December 26th, 2017 with one Christmas theme speech listed.

Cairnhill Toastmasters club has a Christmas potluck supper in the break of a Christmas theme meeting on December 27th, 2017.

In London in 2017 a club's meeting date fell late in the month, too close to Christmas. Some people were involved in office parties. Others were travelling overseas to family, or just taking a Christmas holiday. Therefore they postponed the club Christmas party to January when they also got a lower price for a restaurant meal for the group and choice of dates because the restaurants were not already booked up with other people's Xmas parties. Christmas decorations in the shops were cheaper and club members had leftovers from their own home Christmas parties as well as stocks from previous years.

Christmas Warmer and Earlier Down Under
In Australia and Singapore, the clocks are different. Therefore you can see the Queen's Speech several hours earlier on TV.

If you suffer from SAD (lack of sunlight as well as cold making you stay indoors out of the sun causing depression) you could go south around the world to the warmer tropics such as India, Singapore, or South Africa or Australia or New Zealand.

Czech Republic In Europe
Last year, 2016, I was in Prague, Czech Republic. I thought there would be nothing happening on December 27th, certainly not a club meeting. I emailed the half dozen clubs in Prague and was amazed to find an enthusiastic response from a Pague club which was holding a Christmas theme meeting.

If you are visiting a club overseas, you might wish to pack Christmas theme biscuits from home as a contribution to the festivities. Be prepared for a charge made to visitors and members for Christmas food. It will be less than you would pay in a restaurant with the added bonus of networking and conviviality. The Czech group ran things differently, a short meeting, then all going on to a budget restaurant with long tables in a giant cellar beer hall - with Christmas decorations. If you have a small family, or are single or widowed, visiting or joining a club is a way of finding a group with whom you can talk.

(Toastmasters International, which started in the USA, is now worldwide. Membership is about £100 a year depending on the location and frequency of meetings. You can join most clubs for half a year at a reduced price. When you are a member, you are welcome to join meetings worldwide and learn how to log into Find-a-club.)

Travel To A Change Of Christmas Scene
Back to Christmas. Dates are arbitrary. You can follow the sun or the moon, Julian's calendar or Gregory's calendar. Some countries have a day of rest on Friday, others on Saturday, others on Sunday. If you can't co-ordinate with one country's celebrations, find another which co-ordinates its parades with your health when you feel ready to go and celebrate.

Celebrating New Year
Who celebrates later? If you need a mid-winter break or holiday, the Scots have their main celebrations at New Year. Join the Scots in Scotland and Scottish ex-pats worldwide or in Scottish communities or watch on TV.

Celebrating In January
Eastern Europe and Eastern Orthodox communities worldwide celebrate in January. If you haven't the health or money or time to travel in January, you can travel on the internet.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Blog readers and readership at different times of day

I aim to write a blog post first thing in the morning. If I write late at night and have already reached my target (50 more readers than this time last year), I schedule the post to appear tomorrow.

Jeremy Jacobs (great alliterative name) who at one time was the most widely read blogger (probably still is) gave me two pieces of u s e f u l advice. (Predictive text turned the word with spaces into usual, presumably a more usual word.)

1 Affiliate your blog to others to get reciprocal readership.
2 Write seven blogs on Sunday and schedule them to appear through the week so you never risk missing a day because you are away. This timing leaves you free to go out to work during the week and not delayed writing blog posts.

How to Schedule
What does schedule mean? It means in this context, delay publication of your post to a later date, and time.

It was a while before I discovered the 'schedule' word to click on brings up a calendar. Unfortunately the timing never seems to match where I am writing as I move around the world. In case you don't know and are writing a blog post, on the right hand side of your screen in the column under Settings, second down is the word schedule and a little clock. Click on this and up comes the calendar.

Seasonal Posts
If I find or take a photo of hearts, I can save that for a post scheduled for publication on Valentine's Day, Feb 14, this year or next. The same applies to Christmas. And any other article which can relate to a seasonal event. I might read that a recipe was used for an ethnic festival. Not of any great interest today, but a nice seasonal post on the day of that festival, especially if I visit that continent at the right time of year.

Where Are Readers
I avidly the place and number of readers, and compare posts. Are more people interested in Asia or in America? Do seasonal posts get more clicks? Yes. Does a new restaurant get more interest than a re-visit to an old one? Yes.

I noticed I have more readers in the USA. That may be because I am writing in English so the English speaking countries will provide more potential readers. Also more Americans than people in other countries.

Sometimes I have the illusion that I have huge numbers of readers in the morning. On reflection, I see that I have posted at 1 am English time and the Americans are awake but the Asians are asleep.

My son works in marketing and tell me I would get more readers if I angled my blog very specifically, for example, bargains, luxury, weird and wonderful.

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Business Meetings Abroad - where? Skype calls

There are six ways of arranging meetings with international colleagues,
1) by conference call,
2) airport lounge or hotel meeting when in transit,
3) your hotel
4) at a town or country club, using reciprocal memberships
5) or a city coffee shop,
6) restaurant.
You might try all of these, on one business trip, or over the course of a year, as I have. Let's start with the conference call, saves flying. But first time for any of your users can lead to chaotic conference calls.

1 Conference Call
a) Choices
You can save on the cost of international calls by using Skype.
I've seen this done across three continents with companies the size of Nielsen, and also participated in multi-city conference calls with not for profit Toastmasters International speakers clubs.

b) Challenges
i) Across three time zones, e.g. USA, Europe and Asia, you may find that your VIP in the office in the USA always arranges conference calls in office hours which mean that people in other parts of the world have to get up early or miss their weekend social or club or sports meeting or family events such as birthday parties.
ii) One or more of the participants may be unfamiliar with the system and unable to hear or see or be heard and seen as you take each of half a dozen members in turn for their comments on each item of your agenda.

c) Solutions - Preparation and Troubleshooting
iA) Organisers in head office in the USA. Vary meetings days and times, e.g. first week of month or uneven weeks (1st, 3rd, 5th) use mornings in home or head office country, alternating weeks, use evenings in home country. Or change from Mondays to Fridays so you are not always taking your Asian staff away from their family or club or social meetings. Or simple ask staff if they have any regular or intermittent events at those times. You may think work is a priority over social life, especially with new staff, or even with long-time staff, but to keep goodwill and prevent staff leaving from overload it's a good idea to check every now and then.

iB) From the employees point of view, the head office cannot know that you are taking an exam for a course which is run on a certain evening a week, nor that it is your wedding anniversary. Instead of saying that you cannot attend or feigning sickness, let the others know of your plans in advance.

For example, you could ask the others where they recommend you take your spouse for your wedding anniversary dinner, and book the restaurant they suggest, and thank them. If they then decide they must hold a meeting that date and time, they may remember your dinner and realise that your are losing money on the booking and disappointing the family. The company (boss) might apologise, rearrange the conference call, or send flowers and a card or a gift to your spouse by way of apology and so that their special day is still special and to create goodwill.

ii) When trying this out with a new team, it's a good idea to have a short run with just two of you with the leader and each user so as to troubleshoot. This will get the newcomers up to speed with the system and prevent multiple users avoid all those delays whilst newcomers to the system say, I can't see the picture, I can see you but can't hear you, how do I increase the volume etc.