The Christmas Tree in the Tavern Restaurant, Tanglin Club, Singapore. Photo by Angela Lansbury.
How could you get to attend if you are not a member? You might be invited to an event because>
1 Guests - Family and Friends
The organizers are selling tickets guest and member tickets which are reduced price for members (who are already paying the organization and annual fee or a montly fee, as well as the joining fee) but often only slightly more for guests. If you have lots of friends through one club, they are likely to know members of another club or to be a member of two clubs. Some clubs allow members to take in friends or family as guests.
2 Keep asking all your Singapore friends, are you a member of a club? In my early days as an ex-pat, I met lots of Americans through the American Women's Association. You could join this if you were waiting to be a member of the American Club, or in Singapore insufficient time to make it worthwhile paying the joining fee. Members of the association could meet at each other's homes for events such as bridge games and end of year parties, attend festive meals such as Thanksgiving, and attend moderately priced events in hired rooms such as the bridge game with sandwich lunch or tea. Full members had full use of the club including the swimming and could book tables in the restaurant. On a couple of occasions, one of the 'bossy' or busy or proactive ladies would suggest we all went for coffee or lunch in the restaurant. She had to book the table and the payment would be invoiced to her at the end of the month. We could either secretly slip her cash afterwards to compensate her, invite her back to our club or out to lunch if she was a friend. Or if only one person out of five was not a member, one of the other women who was a member might airily say, "don't worry, this is on me".
Free
Another system. When I first arrived, I knew nobody and was very lonely when my husband was away travelling. I would invite people to lunch at the club, but most of them were too busy with their own families and friends or work. I was desperately hoping somebody would accept and was happy to pay the cost of their lunch. My husband was having meals out with business associates all day every day. I was not even getting a Saturday evening meal out with him. He could hardly begrudge me one meal with a friend or acquaintance.
On one occasion I invited a VIP lady organizer of a group, a bridge group, or a book group, or one of the national associations (American Club, Japanese Club, Australian club). She arrived with a gift for me, a silver picture frame. She explained, "I cannot reciprocate by inviting you back to my club because I am fully booked all week and we are going back to America." I then realized that some people just accept that life is swings and roundabouts, sometimes you pay for a stranger, sometimes they pay for you. Other people like every transaction and relationship to balance, so if you invite them to a meal, whether at their home or a restaurant, you don't wait for an opportunity to reciprocate, because that might never come if one of you travels elsewhere or falls sick. You take a gift for the host.
How do you do this at short notice? It's like planning for Xmas. If you do it on a regular basis, you can plan in advance. You and buy in the sales. You have a box or basket labelled gifts.
All ready wrapped with fancy paper and ribbons. (The Japanese always expect gifts to be fancily wrapped. In China and Singapore even money must be presented in a lucky red packet.)
Then, if you are on the phone and are invited out and have to leave now, no time for shopping, you simply grab a gift from the box. If you like you can add the name of the person on the gift tag, and a nice message such as to my new friend, to my good friend, or thank you for the lovely lunch.
Reciprocal Clubs
If you are a member of a club, or the company you belong to has membership for all staff, you can get reciprocal arrangements overseas. For example, members of the UK civil service can join the Civil Service Club. I met him through a local Writer's club in London. He introduced me to a Toastmasters International Club. He is a member of several clubs, including some connected with Indian language groups. He arranges a Christmas dinner at the Civil Service Club for his friends.
You can visit many clubs just to be shown around with a view to becoming a member. Whilst there, look at the lists of activities. Some will be cultural. Book clubs, film clubs, national clubs. If you are sporty, you are sure to see a group such as football, cricket, squash, and cabinets of trophies or lists of events. If you are not nearby, you can check them out online. Find our what arrangements they have with clubs in your country.
If you are into sales, you might hire a table at a Christmas fare, to sell wine, jewellery, clothes, candles, food, books. You might have a customer who is a member of the club.
The Tanglin Club's Reciprocal Clubs
In Australia alone there are many reciprocal clubs, for example, several branches of the RAC club in different cities. In India, the Cricket Club in Mumbai is one of several.
Guests can book rooms in the club. See the club website for details.
Useful Websites
https://www.tanglinclub.org.sg/reciprocal-clubs/reciprocal-clubs.html
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