HM Queen Elizabeth II died Sept 8 2022. What changes does this mean for you and the world?

Queen's Christmas message. (The Queen's Speech is what she gives to the opening of Parliament.)

'The queen is dead. (1926-2022) Long live the king.' TV programmes had already been cancelled in the afternoon of Thursday September 8th 2022 when the family were summoned to Scotland. She died at Balmoral in Scotland. 

Balmoral, Scotland, privately owned.

Who Heard?

The members of the royal family were told she was failing fast and were called to Scotland.

A TV presenter was already wearing a black tie. In fact, all the BBC presenters were in black from the time of the announcement about the queen being under medical supervision.

The flag, the Union Jack, on Buckingham Palace, was lowered to half mast. Phones began pinging with alerts about the news.

A back-edged announcement appeared on the gate.

Notice on Holyrood Palace, Edinburgh, Scotland, the queen's - now the king's, official residence.

Holyrood Palace.

What Next?

Next will be the funeral. In London, England, UK. 

But for everyday life in the UK, and overseas, what does this mean?

1 UK passports will change. Anything with the words queen will change to king. This means

2 Notes and coins.

3 Postage stamps.

4 Pillar boxes. (Post boxes. Americans say mail boxes.)

5 Magazines, newspapers and books and postcards with stories and photos about the queen and her era.

6 TV programmes on history.

7 Uniforms of the military.

8 Stamps around the world.

9 Souvenirs - postcards, tee-shirts, mugs. 

10 Next Christmas we will have the king's message.r countries around the world will be making changes to stamps - as well as souvenir shops.

In addition to postage stamps and regalia in the UK, 

Why so many changes? All so costly. Unnecessary. We have always been the UK, not the UQ.

The Queen's body will be displayed in Scotland, where she died, displayed at a religious building, then moved to London. 

In London the coffin will move from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Hall in Westminster Palace (which is across the road from Westminster Abbey) where she will lie in state so that the public can file past and see her for the last time.

On the day of the funeral members of the royal family will follow the slow transfer of the coffin down The Mall.

The funeral service will take place in Westminster Abbey, with former Prime Ministers of the UK and heads of state from overseas. Expect security to be tight.

Afterwards, the coffin will be taken in a hearse (carriage for the coffin) to Windsor. 

The final place will be St George's chapel. The royal family, guests will observe a choir singing hymns. The body will be lowered into the vault below the quire. (Centre or crossing point of the arms of the cross shape of the building.)

On the day of the funeral any sports events previously planned for that day will be cancelled. So will strikes. It will be a bank holiday and schools will be closed. 

Who will be affected? 

Cancellations

Horse racing, cycling, golf, football. The Last Night of the Proms, an evening of patriotic and jolly music, cancelled. the good news is that strikes will be cancelled.

Certain flags will fly at half mast for a brief period (quite complicated as to which flags and how they are raised when the new king Charles III is being proclaimed - sworn in?), and events will be televised around the world.

Additions

Bells will be tolled. Canons will be fired (in Wales).

Glossary

casket - American term for the box for a dead body, strictly speaking a basic four-sided rectangle

catafalque - platform for a coffin

coffin - a fancy six-sided box for a dead body (the term coffin is the most usual one used in the UK)

quire - area where the choir (or group of singers) is seated (also a sheaf of paper) 

King Charles III

King Charles III.

Queen Consort Camilla

Places To Visit

UK

London

Buckingham Palace, London, England

Flowers from members of the public.

The Mall

(Black taxi cabs gathered with lights on.)

Piccadilly - pictures of the queen

Scotland

Edinburgh

USA

Times Square

Paris, France - Eiffel Tower

Tel Aviv

Australia - Sydney Opera House picture of queen on the sails, Friday 10th Sept and Saturday 11th Sept nights.

Useful Websites

On You Tube I was offered links to subscribe to the UKs BBC news and America's NBC news.

Plans for the funeral, from the BBC

Map of St George's Chapel, Windsor

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-60617519

Changes

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11195633/Cash-stamps-police-helmets-passports-different-King-Charles-III.html#comments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Elizabeth_II

https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/death-queen-elizabeth-marked-around-world-with-tributes-flowers-2022-09-08/

Sights

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11196967/Sydney-Opera-House-lit-image-Queen-honour-late-monarch.html

Angela Lansbury, English language expert and speaking and language trainer, travel writer specialising in places: countries, museums, restaurants (wine and dine), romantic destinations, people (famous), and events. Practical, amusing and entertaining books, articles and blogs.

Releasing Doves At A Funeral (or Wedding) - Wonderful White Doves

 

Doves released at funeral. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

Why release doves at a funeral? Why not? Any precautions you should take?

I went to a funeral where doves were released and it was wonderful. If you had asked me a week earlier about releasing lanterns with candles inside, which has been banned in some places as a fire risk, and creating litters. What about kites? If you let them fly off, again it can create litter, or tangled wires, or upset aircraft, or just have unforeseen consequences.

If you had asked me about doves being released I would have frowned. Surely it is cruel to capture wild birds? And if you release tame ones, won't they be disorientated and a prey to larger birds of prey?

I found out the happy answers at a funeral. Half a dozen doves were brought along in what looked like a large woven basket by the handler. Each mourner, the widow, her daughters and the grand-daughters, was, in turn, handed one of the doves. 

The doves were white. Pure white. Pristine white. Like brand new white teddy bears or soft toys. 

I was amazed. My garden wood pigeons are murky grey and white.

The ladies and children were all given instructions on how to hold the birds. You had to cup your hand around the bird's tummy. 

After everybody had received a bird, another handler called one, two, three, go! The birds were released. 

They flew upwards. High above, they formed an aeroplane shape with one bird in the lead and the others in the slipstream. I had read about this previously. 

We were surprised that the group did not fly straight off. They flew over the rooftops to the right, then back to the left, off to the right again, back to the left, off to the right again.  Finally, another big loop - then they were gone.

Doves released at funeral. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

Afterwards, I asked the handler where he was from and whether the birds would go back there. Yes. He was from some way away. I supposed the birds are what we would know as homing pigeons. 

The event, a novelty, had been suggested and organized by the funeral director. Was it a good idea?

Yes. A resounding yes. Quite apart from the fact that some susceptible people might see it as symbolic. Symbolic of what? Releasing you sorrow. Letting the deceased person go. Seeing their soul rise to heaven.

Several advantages come to mind.

1 It was different. It was special, as if the family had made a special effort for their deceased to have a good send-off.

2 It made the event personal. (The deceased loved animals and birds.)

3 After the sombre mood of the exit from the service, it was a distraction. A novelty. The participants, the family, had something different to think about. How to hold the bird. The bird. Watching it fly. 

4 The onlookers also had a novel funeral, a memorable funeral, something interesting to talk about instead of sadness.

Anything to beware of? Yes. The widow's hand was scratched by the claw of the bird and bled. Her neighbour said, 'You need to get antiseptic on that!' 

What should you do to avoid being scratched? Wear thick gloves, gardening gloves? Carry a tube of antiseptic and a plaster? Ask the organizer of the birds how to avoid being scratched?

To sum up, the doves were so soothing. Highly recommended. You end on a high note, literally high, with your eyes on the sky.

You can also release a pair of doves at a wedding.

What else could go wrong? Of course, anything which could go wrong, will do so, to somebody some time. Apparently untoward events have occurred at the Vatican (attack by a seagull and a crow) and the Olympics (with the Olympic flame). 

Warning - The Vatican banned a repeat.

If you release the birds indoors, they might refuse to fly out of the open window. They could be attacked by other birds such as seagulls, which is distressing, and some onlookers might think, ominous, as well as unfair to the birds.

I am not sure that I would want to risk the unpredictability of birds at a wedding, if it is an indoor wedding.  

However, at a funeral, after you have walked outdoors to admire the flowers, for an outdoor funeral, it worked perfectly.

TIPS

1 Wear protective gloves.

2 Make sure to capture the best moments on video.

Useful Websites

UK

https://www.foreverdoves.org/

https://www.thewhitefeatherco.co.uk/pricing/

https://woodstock.wbu.com/mourningdoves

USA

https://www.godoves.com/

UK, USA and Canada

https://dove-release.net/ 

What could go wrong?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Release_dove

 About the Author

Angela Lansbury was born and bred in Britain, and has lived in the USA and Singapore. Her family have worked in or lived in Spain and Switzerland. She is a member of Toastmasters Clubs meeting on Zoom with visitors from the UK and USA, India, Sri Lanka, Europe, the Middle East, Asia and Australia. Through the Toastmasters mentoring program Angela has connected with individuals in Vietnam and Romania, a different connection each month. Please come to the next BHA Toastmasters meeting on the 3rd Saturday afternoon every month. 

Please share links to your favourite posts.

Flying Off To Give A Speech? Conquering Your Fear of Public Speaking. My ten top tips

Angela Lansbury, President of Braddell Heights Advanced Speakers' Club, standing left. 

Sylvia, second runner up of the club's International Speech contest and the Table Topics (impromptu speech) contest. Standing on the right, Arinjay, first runner up in both contests. Seated on the right, is Faith, winner of both the club's International Speech Contest and the Table Topics (Impromptu Speech) contest.

As they say, you've got to be in it to win it.
Conquering Fear of Public Speaking

My ten top tips

1 You are the most confident person in the room.

The members of the audience are more afraid than you are. You are on the stage. They are sitting at the back and avoiding the front rows.

2 Don't tell them you are afraid. 

Would you want the the pilot of a plane to tell you he was nervous, or a train driver, or a bus driver, or the chef in a restaurant, or the person on the till counting out your change? Instead look confident to reassure the audience they are not wasting their time. 

3 Take a deep breath and speak loudly. 

Several members of the audience are worried they won't hear. They are aged over 50, have hearing loss, are sitting behind somebody with a large head, are distracted by somebody nearby whispering, or speak English as a second language. Be kind. Be audible.

4 This is not the hardest speech.

The speech at your mother's funeral is your hardest speech. Same goes for any other funeral speech. No other speech comes near. Practise speaking this silly speech so that when you have to give one of life's hardest speeches you can be fair to the audience and the occasion. 

5 The audience are hoping to enjoy themselves. 

Make sure they do. Smile at them Focus on what they want. Their chief concern is: - what is in it for me?

6 Go to a Toastmasters International meeting.
Do a table topic (impromptu speech). 

7 Add a quotation.
This adds importance to your speech.
The audience will be impressed. You will feel enthusiastic about the hero or heroine you are quoting.

8 Add Drama
Add conflict, conversation, or song.

9 Use one prop to symbolise your message.
You can use up to three props, If you have three stories, have one prop for each story. That will help you remember the message and will help the audience remember. 

10  Repetition Adds Clarity And Memorability.
If your title, your opening line and your clsing line are your message, the audience will remember it.

The USA
In America there are online clubs speaking English and Spanish.

Singapore
One online club is bilingual. My club based online in Singapore is English speaking. Singapore also has bilingual clubs, and clubs speaking only in French, Chinese (Mandarin), and Tamil (an official language in Singapore and spoken in Southern India and Sri Lanka).

If you are interested in finding a club near you, at home or on holiday or a business trip, go to Toastmasters International Find A Club.

Useful Websites
https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

About the Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
member of:
Harrovians Speakers Club, London, England, UK.
President of Braddell Heights Advanced Club 2019-2020.
Please share links to your favourite posts.

Funerals: who should attend? what should you wear?What more can you do?

The Taj Mahal, India. © Yann Forget in Wikipedia

Do you visit graves and mausoleums of people you don't know? Millions visit the Taj Mahal, every year. Do you like attending funerals? Many people flew across the world to attend the funeral of Princess Diana, even though they had never met her, nor any of her family.

However, others won't or can't attend the funerals of family and friends. Some people just don't like funerals. Why?

Distress
The upset at losing somebody.
The reminder that we are all mortal.
Seeing the family looking tearful.

Confusion
The confusion of not knowing relatives from friends.
Not knowing what to say.
Not knowing what to wear.

Black Catholic Dress Code
A year or two ago, never forgotten, I turned up in a black and white patterned jacket at an all-black Catholic funeral in the UK. I had to drop to my knees behind the pew in front and reverse my jacket. Luckily it had a black lining.

Timing of Funerals and Flights
This year, 2019, some of my family just changed their flights specially to attend a funeral in London. We had weeks of pre-funeral uncertainty over this. My flights were redemption flights which cannot be changed without paying a premium. So we kept postponing the booking of my flights. Finally, after a couple of months of waiting, we booked my flight. Then we were told the date of the funeral.

Jewish And Muslim Fast Funerals
By contrast, Jewish and Muslim funerals happen fast, so fast you sometimes risk missing them. Traditionally funerals would happen fast because bodies go off in the heat.

I recall a Muslim friend of mine who was angry with her religious authorities who wanted the funeral of her grandparent to take place so quickly that she would not be able to get there. She needed to take a round the world flight from Singapore, allowing a few hours to spare in case of any flight delays.

She had lots of things to arrange. Not just the flight for three people when planes were full in high season. Packing for the children. She was pregnant and needed a doctor's letter for the airline saying she was safe to fly and would not give birth in mid-air.

Jewish Orthodox Tradition
I attended one Jewish funeral, years ago, when somebody I knew pointed out that I was wearing black leather trousers. Both leather and trousers were considered unsuitable. However, the mourners made no comment on my clothes and said they were very glad I attended.

More recently I attended an Orthodox funeral. To me any synagogue which is not Liberal or Reform sounds Orthodox. Best to ask the dress code. I was surprised that peole were wearing mixed black and colours and colours. Only the immediate family wore all black. That way you could identify the immediate family.

My wearing all black caused confusion. Three people assumed I was one of the daughters. They told me, "So sorry to hear about your father". Since my own father had died recently, that caused even more confusion.

Christian Delayed Funeral
Contrasting with Jewish and Muslim funeral which take place fast, Christian funerals can be delayed endlessly. Recently we kept waiting weeks for news. 'Will it be a quick family service only, with a public memorial service six months or a year later?'

After weeks of uncertainty, my family not booking return fights, the date was been announced. it turned out that the widow, who also lost their son earlier the same year, had taken events badly, and had been yo-yoing in and out of hospital and nursing homes.

Time Off Work
I heard that my family were disappointed that only about thirty people turned up. None were noticeable from the deceased man's workplace, which was a bank.

I can see that an important institution cannot have double figures of people taking the day off, whether as paid leave or as holiday allowance. However, I think one person as representative of the company should go.

Back To Work
I have been to events where people who are working attended the service, then disappeared.

I asked, "Why did they leave so early? Why didn't they stay for the reception? Everybody was invited!"

"They could not take the whole day off work." So they attended only the late morning service, not the family get together over lunch food afterwards.

Others might miss the religious service, but come to the house after work to console the family by ensuring they are not alone and lonely.

There is the last minute hunt for the black clothes, the shoes, the socks, cuff links, change jewellery. When my mother in law was in her nineties, I had a black dress and matching hat hanging on the far right of the wardrobe, ready for her funeral or anybody of her generation. I was prepared.

Sometimes the deceased person themselves asks for no fuss. Freddie Mercury was one. You cannot see a grave for him. Only a plaque.

Plaque to Freddie Mercury in Feltham, London, England.

And statues of Freddie.

Statue of Freddie Mercury in Montreux, Switzerland.

To allow the ground to settle over a grave, only several weeks after the funeral, a heavy headstone is set up.

In Singapore I learned that there the Indians have no idea what a gravestone means. I gave a talk, ending with a picture of Spike Milligan's humorous headstone message, in Gaelic to thwart restrictions. The English translation is: I told you I was ill.

Indian Cremations
The Indians had cremation, but no headstone. So don't assume that all family, friends and colleagues will understand what is required.

Distant Relatives
At one funeral in London, an ipad was set up so that family in Australia could watch the event and join and and speak to those attending.

Records
For anybody who misses the event, you can keep a copy of the funeral oration, or the obituary in the local newspaper, to post on to wellwishers.

Traditionally, funeral directors and tombstone suppliers have cars which they sell, announcing a funeral, or thanking those who attended.

Another record is to list your deceased family member's gravestone or obituary on find-a-grave, ancestry, or one of the memorial websites.

Useful Websites
find a grave
visitbritain.com

Author, Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. See other posts and next post on cemetery visits. Please share links to your favourite posts.

A Vietnamese Funeral

Seen in the Ethnology museum in Hanoi, North Vietnam.

As I walked towards it, I thought, what a jolly scene. Then I read the captions and realized it wasn't a jolly occasion at all. However, the colour helps the mourners cope, in my opinion. All black funerals make you feel worse. The colours are significant. A distant relative or passer-by could easily identify the son performing the rites and the daughter-in-law.

This scene is one of many intriguing items at the Ethnology museum. It has two sections in adjacent buildings, one ticket for both. Allow time to see them both.

We flew on Vietjet and stayed at the delightful Sunline Paon hotel. See my previous posts on Hanoi restaurants and attractions.

Author

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer. Author and Speaker. Teacher and trainer of English and language and etiquette.

Why you should label family and travel photos

Problem
The day after my mother died I started going through family photos to find a nice photo of her to display at the funeral, and put on the dining room table for the prayers and meal at home afterwards.

I stayed at my father's home to comfort him and went through my father's photos. He's with my mother and somebody else. "Who's this?" I asked. "Where was this? When was this?"

Dates, Places, People's Names
Some of the photos had nothing written on the back. Others had one word such as Venice, or a date, such as 1999. From the one word, helped by the pictures, he was able to identify many of the photos. From the date, he could identify a place. From a place name, he could identify a date.

He could identify family, friends, and strangers. I added as much detail as I could. "Aunty Carrie? What was her surname? Who was her husband? Your aunty or mother's aunty? Did she have any children?"

If she had children, I wrote the children's names. I might want to call them later, or recognise them on a genealogy site such as Ancestry.

I didn't bother to write childless. I should have done. It would save time searching for possible descendants, who didn't exist.

Writing Carefully
I wrote carefully behind the white frame of each photo, careful not to indent the photo, especially not the faces. When I worked at a photo agency, we typed out the captions and stuck them on the back of photos. You never wrote on the back of a photo. However, with a funeral to arrange, I didn't have time for such neatness.

Now, go back to your family's wedding photos. Add as many names as you can, and dates, and the place where the photo was taken.  When you have time, type it all up neatly. Stick the label on the back. Add a caption inside the glass of any framed photo.

If you have just got married, or recently married, type out a label giving the date, the venue, the people in the main wedding photo, and another sheet listing all the guests. Years later you will be saying: "What was the name of the people you used to work with? What were your parents' neighbours called?"

I have an old wedding photo taken in around 1910. I have no idea if it's a family wedding or one they attended. I don't recognize any of my relatives in the picture. I wish they had written the date on the back, and the name of the bride and groom.

 I went back through my family history to see who would have married then. The only people were my late mother's parents in 1910. But they are not the couple in the photo.

Now that another ten years have passed, I am starting to wonder whether I had mixed up photos from my family with my husband's. Could it be somebody on his side of the family?

When you write your family history or memoirs, you will want captions in the book, giving the names of every person in the photo, the date and place.

Please label your photos.

You can thank me, later.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
Writer of family histories:
My Secret Life Revealed.
The Mad Musician - a musical by Angela Lansbury.
This is your life Pearl Sharot.
Soup and Sympathy.

What's Ap For Communicating Illness, Funerals Or Temporary Groups

Problem
Some older people don't know what what's ap is for. Others don't realise you can start news groups and stop them. Others don't realise how helpful it can be in the case of a sudden illness at home or overseas. If you have somebody who doesn't understand it, they may a tecnology phobe. They may be be a lot warmer when you say you'll install it for them.

Answers
When I first went to Singapore I didn't understand what's ap, how to join it, or the advantages.
The obvious advantage is that you can use it on your phone when you are away from your computer. You can contact everybody in the group about an event - such as I'm lost where's the front door of this building, or I am at the station, which bus do I take.

I joined the system when I was in Singapore and judging speech contests. I would be going to a different venue every night of the week. In the bad old days, before what's ap, you could reach a building such as a Community Club, and the reception would tell you there was noo meeting. Those in the meeting had turned their phones to silent. Now I plan to arrive at least half an hour early. If I cannot find the room or building I can whats ap everybody else in the group. Usually somebody will answer.

More recently in the UK I was informed about a funeral. People as far away as Australia were able to fly over within 48 hours to attend. In the old days informing everybody of a funeral would involve hours with a phone directory. Now you can include every who is concerned about an operation to give them updates. In our case, my friends son who had a lung transplant did not survive. Everybody in the group I was in received the message about the funeral arrangements.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

When you travel to a sick bed or funeral, start writing an obituary

Plane window. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Problem
If you are on a plane to a funeral, or to visit somebody who is very sick, instead of crying, you could spend your time busily writing your memories. If they are well and recovering, you might be able to raise their morale with happy memories.

If they can talk but are fading fast, it's your last chance to ask, "Dad - where did you and Mum meet?" Or, "What made you change your name? Why did you choose that name?"

If you arrive for a funeral, you might have a chance to say a few words at the funeral. If the ceremony turns out to be one full of quotations from religious books and payers, you may get a chance to read out your reminiscence at the following reception.

If you are told this is not appropriate, or no time, you might save your information for an obituary.

Obituary
What do you say in a eulogy at a funeral and the written obituary and who can you send it to?

First of all, what is an obituary and what is a eulogy? A eulogy is a speech of praise given at the funeral.

I just went to a funeral of a young man, aged just under 40, who died during a lung transplant. The funeral speeches were given first by the mother, starting with him as a baby and a fun child, then by his father on what a fine young man he became with a successful career, finally by his sister on how kind a person he was.

No Photos
I was told that you are not allowed to take photos at a funeral. This is because people frowning, crying sobbing, are not looking their best. That's without any security concerns about attracting grave robbers or vandals. If you do take family grinning by the graveside, that would not look right either.

Who Wants Your Obituary
Wikipedia, national newspapers and other journals, even religious newspapers, might have rules about how famous you have to be to warrant an obituary.

If you draw a blank with these, your next steps are:
Local newspapers;
School and college magazines for alumni;
Professional magazines of professional organisations which your deceased person was a subscriber.
When you ring up to cancel the membership of the BBC retired staff club or actors' union, optician's group, or market research group, you can ask where you should send an obituary.

Quotations
If you can get a quotation from the head of the organisation, who remembers the deceased, this will make them want to include the piece and make it more interesting to the current membership. (Even if dead Fred hadn't been seen for years.)

Similarly, an article about a former pupil at a school is more interesting if they did something noteworthy and worthwhile. If not, perhaps they led a tragic life (cautionary tale), disappointing teachers after showing such early promise. I just reversed that sentence. The trick to sounding upbeat is to turn each sentence so that you end with words which are positive.)

I did this for my late uncle and my late father. You need to know the length limit. You may be asked for a photo. You need to gather together all the dates and facts - which can be quite difficult if the person you are writing about has lived or travelled all over the world.

With elderly people in their nineties, you may find the majority of their friends are already dead, or too infirm to travel. You may then have to rely on well-wishers from the community.

In addition to sending out news to aquaintance, you might not think of contacting, the obituary remains a vital piece of information for you and your descendants. My uncle died 16 years ago. The facts I wrote about him after he died were newly-discovered, but very fresh in my mind. However, now, when I read his obituary framed on the wall, it's as if somebody else wrote it. I have forgotten so much that every little fact is a surprise and a delight.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Reminder - Wear White Colours At Hindu Funerals. What about weddings?

UK - still lots of funerals are all black. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I was told not to take photos at a funeral (UK Jewish liberal) so I have here just the cemetery attendants taking away the bier which transported the coffin to the grave.

In India, photos of the mourners gathering to pay respects to see Bollywood film star Sridevi Kapoor in Mumbai show hundeds of people in all colours. The VIP film stars have arived in white. 

Problem
What colours to wear at weddings and funerals in Asia?

Answers
Funerals
Hindus wear white for funerals.

Weddings
(Symbol of purity, just as white, which was established for Weddings in the UK and worldwide by Victoria in 1840.)

Indians and Chinese
The Indians and Chinese brides were red (auspicious and lucky).

However, many brides, especially Japanese, and in Singapore, will change dresses, perhaps wearing white wedding dress for one part of the ceremony, usually the formal part, and photos, changing into a shorter coloured cocktail dress for ease of movement dancing at the reception.

Best to remember check on what colours you should wear. Worldwide, the rule would be for the immediate family to co-ordinate with the bride, whilst others should not dress in the same colour as the bride. You don't want to be mistaken for the bride, nor to rival her.

When going to a new country, try to sort this out in advance. When a family is preparing for a wedding or funeral, you often cannot get through by phone.

Especially with mixed-nationality marriages, for example, a couple who met at work when both were lonely at an overseas posting, they have gone to another country for a first or second wedding reception with the parents of one side or another. I have been to three weddings in Singapore, Chinese-Indian and Chinese-Italian, Chinese-New Zealand, which incorporated traditions from two cultures. They might hold three ceremonies, whilst holding a third wedding for colleagues in the country where you met them.

Wearing Suitable Funeral Clothes
In the UK you are safer wearing either black or a dark colour such as navy. In case the immediately family are in solid black, others not, you might wear a contrasting colour scarf. The same applies as for weddings, that the immediate family are too upset to talk and a third party is giving out the information and hard to contact, so the earlier you can ask, the better.

If you have a car, you can take an alternative jacket.

Useful Websites
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5443881/Bollywood-legend-Sridevi-mourned-fans-Mumbai.html

For photos of Sridevi Kapoor also see Wikipedia and page for photo originals
 and for permission to copy photos see Wikipedia.
 http://www.bollywoodhungama.com (See Wikipedia.)

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Please share links to your favourite posts.

Planning For Self-Portraits, Promotional Pictures And Selfies

Problem
How do I get good pictures of myself?

Answer
EVENT PHOTOS; parties, weddings, funerals
Any time you are dressed up, for Christmas, a party, a dinner, a wedding, a funeral, take a picture of  yourself. Also ask another person to take a picture of you.

If nobody is taking photos, suggest a group photo.

If the group refuse to be photographed, or to take a photo, try the head waiter, the chef, the waiter, the receptionist, another tourist.

My Photo Coup
At a grand restaurant in London, England, my family and friends wanted to concentrate on eating their meal, then went to pay, and to go to the toilet. Afterwards they would be rushing off. In the hallway, I spotted the chef who I recognized from the publicity email we'd been sent about the half price midweek lunch offer.  The restaurant owner was delighted that I wanted to photograph the chef. The chef could not refuse because the restaurant owner wanted the photo. I managed to photograph them separately, together, and with myself.

Get in the picture with the flowers, the sweep staircase, the sign on the door.

Be photographed with the bride, the camera man / woman, the cameraman's wife / spouse / business partner.

Even the corpse. Not allowed? Be photographed with a photo of the deceased at a funeral. Take a photo of the widow or widower with the order of service, the person who sent the wreath with the wreath.

Take the names of the people in the photo. Simpler and quicker, ask for their email, or ask them to type it into your mobile phone, and send them the photo immediately. That way:
1 You have photos matched with names and emails.
2 You collect all the emails of useful contacts.
3 Saves time later.
4 No trouble reading your own handwriting, nor losing the paper with the emails and names.
5 If they didn't receive the photo, you have time to check you have the correct email whilst they are there and if necessary get any typos corrected.
6 If they don't like their photo, you can take another.
7 If they like the photo, they can tell you, so you get the feedback.
8 They may reciprocate with a photo of you taken on your camera or theirs.

Take a photo of yourself with your new book and the publisher.
Do a rehearsal at home, even if you are planning a professional shoot at home, in a studio or out on location. You want to check:

Clothes
Shoes
Accessories and jewellery
Nails
Hands
Poses - standing or sitting
Accessories
Glasses and reflections

Hide Imperfections
If you have crooked top teeth, you can be photographed smiling with your mouth shut.
If you have crooked bottom teeth, see whether you can cover them with your lower lip or your tongue.
If your neck is creased, you have a prominent Adam's apple, or a double chin, cover your neck with a polo neck, scarf, high blouse or Mandarin collar. Alternatively, hold a paper, newspaper or book.

Take photos from left, right, looking straight at the camera, looking up, down, smiling, not smiling.
Clear the background of clutter.

If you wear glasses, try wearing them at the end of your nose and pushed right back. If they create reflections, take them off. If you feel that is concealing the real you, wear the glasses on top of your head like a hairband, or hold them in your right hand as if you are about to put them on or take them off, or rest them on a table or in a glasses case..

Check and correct. If you have a friend, family member or neighbour with a better mobile phone or camera than yours, ask them to take a picture of you.

If you are going for a professional studio picture, you can remember to wear the best clothes, turn to show  your good side, look up or down, and conceal your imprfections and reveal or promote your assets.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Frank Talk On Jewish Funerals, Finding Ancestors' Graves, Amy Winehouse and Alma Cogan

Problem
I am invited to a Jewish funeral. What do I wear? What do I say? What do I write? What will happen?

Answers
Apparently, most of the world's Jews are in the USA and most of them are not orthodox. However, if you are one of the non-Orthodox majority, or married into the faith, or are a neighbour or friend or colleague, you might be glad to have some idea of what to expect.

Invitations
Technically you aren't invited to a funeral. You are merely informed that it will take place and then it's up to you whether you will attend.

This year, for the first time, October 2017, we received notification of a friend's mother's funeral by mobile phone in a text message.

It helps to let the organizers know if you are attending. Then they can organize cars and catering.

What Do I Wear? Black?
I went to one shiva wearing black leather trousers and was told I should not be wearing trousers nor leather.

I went to a funeral wearing all black and everyone else was wearing colours. Strangers came up to me and expressed condolences thinking I was the widow.

I therefore wore dark green with an orange scarf and multi-colour jacket this time. When we drove in I saw that all the people, from three separate funeral, men and women, were all in black. Luckily I was wearing a reversible jacket, so I was able to turn it inside out ante cover the oranges scarf and the black hood covered my hat. I should have put my black hat in my bag, just in case.

Stones on a gravestone in a Jewish cemetery. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I am trying to remember the grave from Schindler's list. I remember the long line of people putting a stone on the grave, which tells the living that you have visited.

Shoes
I had known to wear black shoes in case they got muddy. I wanted to wear boots. I didn't have anything suitable. Wellington boots, white plastic with a red St George's cross, whilst ideal for many occasions such as camping, did not seem suitable for a Jewish funeral. People were dressed very smartly, as if for a wedding - but black, as if for a wedding of somebody dead.

Wear walking shoes. Cemeteries can be huge. It was a 15 minute walk to the grave, then back again. No wonder I saw benches by two graves. There's not enough room between most of the gravestones for a bench.

A Minyan
You are supposed to have a minyan, a quorum, a minimum of ten males to say the ritual prayers at a funeral, therefore a Jewish male who was not expecting to go to the funeral might be asked along at the last minute to make up numbers.

Why does this shortage occur? Because even if you have twenty people, the women don't count. The death might occur unexpectedly and a Jewish funeral will be arranged within 48 hours (not on a Sabbath) so people might not have time to travel from overseas. If the person is old, all their contemporaries, their friends, might already be dead. Some of the males are not Jewish and therefore can't be counted in the minimum, because that is the rule and for the sensible reason that they won't know enough Hebrew to say prayers and generally help and support.

Timing of Funeral Ceremony
Arrive in advance. Funerals are short and strictly timed. The staff are busy running people to the grave and back on electric carts. You cannot have delays. You will miss your funeral and end up at somebody else's. You need to arrive before the end and stay to the end of the prayers after the burial, because the location of any tea is announced at the end.

The Cemetery
Put the location of the cemetery in your satnav. Chestnut, in North London, is very confusing because there are two cemeteries, one orthodox and one less Orthodox. At one funeral we went to at least two cars of people were delayed by going to the wrong cemetery.

You might want to visit a grandparent's or ancestor's grave whilst you are at a cemetery. It's handy to keep in your diary the names of ancestors and famous people and where they are buried. I was able to see a photograph of a gravestone when I typed a name on a board in the cemetery forecourt. I now have records of two ancestors in a cemetery. If I had thought about it, I could have typed in Alma Cogan's name and photographed her grave, or a picture of it on the board.

Name Board
Park your car and walk to the front of the prayer hall. There may be more than one funeral. A board outside states the name of the person who is about to be buried. If you arrive earlier you see another name. Yes, you are in the right place. you just have to wait for your family's name to appear and not go up and join the wrong group. You may have two or even three sets of people, all in black.

If in doubt, look for a rabbi, and ask him which funeral. Or a cemetery official.

FINDING YOUR ANCESTOR'S GRAVE

Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Cemeteries have gone high tec. This is wonderful. You can type in your ancestor's name and up comes the date of burial of everybody with the same surname, the section and the row. 

In the prayer hall
The women stand on the right, then men on the left.

Prayers and Prayer Book
The Prayer book is in both Hebrew and English.

Hand Washing
You wash your hands afterwards. A sign reminds you to wash your hands after the burial before re-entering the hall and picking up the prayer book for the post funeral prayers.

Orthodox people will probably be praying as part of the hand washing ritual which is done, as Queen Elizabeth first said about her annual bath -'whether I need it or not".

This seems sensible, if you are touching the earth to throw it into the grave. But it is supposed to be ritually cleansing, in effect symbolically washing away the misery of the mourning and enabling you to start afresh washing away the depression and starting life again with hope.

The House and Chairs
1 The mourners, the immediate family, sit grouped together, traditionally on low chairs to be closer to the earth. This is handy, so you can line up after the prayers, and find them during the evening.

2 You greet and comfort each one, and say the traditional greeting, "Wish you long life!"

In my opinion this is a very sensible thing to say, because some mourners will feel quite despondent, even suicidal, so it helps, rather than saying negative things to say something positive and future orientated.

The Mirrors
Mirrors are covered.

Covered mirror in the downstairs cloakroom. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

Prayers / Shiva
Prayers are said in the evening. This could take place for one night, two or three nights, for the benefit of those who were unable to attend earlier, or all seven nights, as is a tradition, to enable more people to arrive and give the mourners more people to offer comfort and distraction. If you can't make the funeral, ask about the Shiva. Shiva means seven, the seven nights of mourning, 'sitting shiva' - sitting mourning and receiving guests for seven evenings.

Food and drink
You are likely to be offered tiny shots of kosher alcohol and alternative non-alcoholic drinks.

Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse, the singer, 14 Sept 1983-23 July 2011. Confusingly her funeral was held at Edgewarebury Lane Cemetery but she was cremated at Golder's Green Crematorium. Her gravestone is in Bushey Jewish Cemetery where her name is added to the tombstone of another relative, I presume her grandmother. Her songs included Back To Black. She was given a place in Madame Tussaud's, Baker Street, London. Her statue is in Stables Market, Camden Town, London.

Amy Winehouse. Madame Tussaud's, Baker Street, London, England. Photo by Wolfgang Kopp in Wikipedia. 

Alma Cogan
Alma Cogan, singer, May 19 1932-Oct 26 1966 is buried in Bushey Cemetery. Alma Cogan, known as the girl with the giggle in her voice, was a friend of the Beatles. Her songs included Don't Do A Tango With An Eskimo. She died of throat cancer.

Useful Websites
https://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=73797369 Amy Winehouse grand gravestone in Edgwarebury Lane Cemetery, Edgware, Middlesex.
https://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=10464873&PIpi=32822560 Alma Cogan's grave in Bushey Cemetery.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Why and where to see Klimt Painting and learn to paint

Painting by Klimt currently in a gallery in New York city, new York state, USA. From Wikipedia.

APPRECIATING KLIMT
On Facebook I saw a pretty painting by Klimpt.

When I draw or paint as an amateur my struggle is to observe and create a likeness. Klimt is at the next stage, to create something beautiful in a new and unique style which reminds the onlooker of something pleasing. 

His method is to brighten a dull scene from the grey hut, grey tree trunks, dark green leaves, blue jeans. He creates a confetti effect, contrasting circles of bright colour. His bright contrasts are white, yellow and red. 

LEARNING PAINTINGAt a painting course this summer (2017, Susan Allison at Writer's Holiday, their next holiday being at Fishguard in Wales, February 2018) one of our first lessons was watching her demonstrate making a dark background and leaving a contrast of white or yellow in the middle for a sunny day, a sunset, a tunnel, whatever.

Klimt also makes a person the centre of attention, bright spring or summer flowers scattered up the body.  Colour creates a halo effect around the head, and brightness of the clothes.

Only on second glance did I realise that it's not one picture but a video, a sequence of pictures.

In many of the Klimt pictures one person is cradling or protecting themselves or another. They smile or faintly smile. But flowers surround them.

Only on second glance did I see in the first picture the crucifix dwarfed by the happiness. We give flowers to a bride. We take flowers to a funeral to add colour and scent, traditionally to conceal smells, create perfume to soothe and brighten the room.

CREATING MOOD AND HAPPINESSI find that if I write too much about sad subjects, or create or see have too much sad music or painting, it depresses me. Colours lifts my mood. If you want to keep yourself and others happy, acknowledge their sadness but add as much colour as you can and spread happiness.

SEEING PAINTINGS
If you want to see more Klimt paintings and read about the artist, go to Wiki. You might also be interested in films about the paintings:

On August 7, 2006, Christie's auction house announced it was handling the sale of the remaining four works by Klimt that were recovered by Maria Altmann and her co-heirs after their long legal battle against Austria (see Republic of Austria v. Altmann). Maria Altmann's fight to regain her family's paintings has been the subject of a number of documentary films, including Adele's Wish.^[27] Her struggle also became the subject of the dramatic film the Woman in Gold, a movie inspired by Stealing Klimt, the documentary featuring Maria Altmann herself.^[28] The portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer II was sold at auction in November 2006 for $88 million, the third-highest priced piece of art at auction at the time.^[29][30] 

WHERE TO SEE PAINTINGS
USA
The New York picture of Adele, woman in gold, 

AUSTRIA
https://theculturetrip.com/europe/austria/articles/the-6-best-places-to-see-gustav-klimt-s-art/ (The New York picture of Adele, woman in gold, plus lots of paintings in Vienna, all pictures, which pictures of the places to visit.)

The Kiss in Belvedere Palais, Vienna, Austria, which has the world's largest collection of Klimt paintings.
http://www.klimt-foundation.com/en/klimt-info/works/austria


UK
National Gallery of Art, Trafalgar Square, London, England.
https://www.nationalgallery.co.uk

PAINTING COURSES
http://www.writersholiday.net 

BUYING COPIES OF KLIMT PAINTINGS

https://www.nationalgallery.co.uk/products/portrait-of-hermine-gallia-print/

My comments on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/angela.lansbury.121/posts/10159341644375597?comment_id=10159342967085597&notif_t=feed_comment&notif_id=1505203473890947

Travel Information
https://www.visittheusa.co.uk/USA

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, caricaturist, author and speaker. I have several more posts on murals and art and destinations around the world and learning German and other languages. Please share links to your favourite posts.

Writing Rhyming Couplets About Your Holiday, Capturing the Moment, and Captioning Photos

I took a trip to Singapore, liked what I saw and wanted more

Problem
You can't remember the places you visited. You spend a lot of time waiting around on stations and at airports.

Answer
Write rhyming couplets about your holiday. You can turn them into a poem or a rap song. Or just use them to remember vital information or amusing information. You can also use a poem for a wedding speech - or even a funeral.

Story
I went to Harrow Writer' Circle summer party. We had prosecco and home made sandwiches and cakes and salads provided by members and circle funds. Members read their work.

Member Alan read out a series of rhyming couplets about his holiday in America. I thought that was a great idea I would copy.

A member of my family told me to take a book next time I go on a journey which is long or likely to involve changes and delays. I don't need a book. I just need a notebook. Then I can write down rhyming couplets about my journey. I can list the place names, such as stations, airports, landmarks, restaurants.

Tips
You can find rhymes in a rhyming dictionary or on line.
Cover your notebook with a duplicate or no longer needed map of the destination.

Use a favourite pen.

Angela Lansbury with caricature of William Brougham. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker. Author of: Poetry Workbook. Poetry Pets and pests. An extract from Alan's poem is in my next post. 

Useful websites

Travel diaries online from Amazon, stationery shops

Blank notebooks - Daiso / supermarkets

Rhyming dictionary or Thesaurus from Amazon and big bookshops

Please share links to your favourite posts.