Problem - What Is Your Success Story?
I went to a Toastmasters International club meeting in Singapore where everybody around the table had to say their name and their greatest success or total success so far this year - or the success they hoped to achieve in the rest of the year.
Some people knew immediately what they had achieved (such as 'I passed such and such an exam'). I have been learning Portuguese, have given a workshop on writing your life story, and plan more workshops.
Several visitors gave vague answers. Some repeated what others said (such as I also plan to watch more films). Others paid repeated compliments to the hosts (my greatest success was coming here and meeting you!)
Raising Your Morale
I read in an article on curing depression and sad moments that you could energise yourself and keep up moreal and energy by creating a success book or a success wall.
Boasting and Introductions
Talking to yourself is not the same as talking about others. To boast of yourself, your spouse, your children or your grandchilden might annoy others, especially if their family is not equally successful.
Rags To Riches
But another speaker/trainer told us that if you spoke only of your past and current successes when introducing yourself as a speaker, you would alienate the audience. They would envy you and consider you boastful (or even a liar).
Chairperson's Introduction To You
The chairperson's job is to introduce the speaker in glowing terms. The speaker should appear modest and share secrets of certain success.
Achievable Success
What is certain success? 'You can do it' or 'a journey starts with a single step' is a great message for the timid person who is afraid to start a simple task.
Small Steps On The Ladder
However, another method is to break the task into simple steps and show somebody how to start and where to get free and easy help.
Typical Questions
What if you are in a conversation and greeted enthusiastically and asked lots of questions? I get asked these questions and you are likely to be asked something similar:
C - conversation starter for rapport.
FAQ ABC Frequently Asked Question - intended to get information for future action, business, commitment.
How long have you lived here (in this country)? C
Where do you live/stay? C
What do you do for a living? FAQ (Do I say, teacher, semi-retired, author, workshop leader?)
Which country do you come from? C (My answer is London, England. However, I am a Singaporean Permanent Resident.
How many languages do you speak? C (Fluent French - and learning other European languages such as Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and German.)
Do you speak fluent ....? C FAQ My child needs help with homework. Join our bilingual club. Our nearby school needs a foreign language teacher. Can you help me pronounce this word correctly ... (My answer is yes, if you pay me enough.)
Where did you learn to speak C French? (Grammar School A level.) FAQ - where can I learn to do it as well as you?
How long have you been married? (Too long!) C or FAQ meaning are you single, eligible, lonely, looking for a liaison?
Do you have children? C FAQ (Are you busy with family? Or free evenings and weekends to do a job or help me?)
When are you leaving? (I yo-yo between England and Singapore.) FAQ Our meeting is next week. Are you free?
When will you be back here? FAQ When can we meet? (If you want me to give a workshop, I'll be around in (month).
They all sound simple questions. Yet I and others struggle to answer them. If different members of the family give different answers, it sounds as if at best you are confused, at worst you could be lying. It helps to make a list and agree on which date you arrived in a foreign country (unless your and other members of the family arrived on different dates - in which case you need to be clear on which of you arrived which month and year.
Recording and Remembering Your Past
Firstly there's forgetting. Which year did I live in the USA?
1986. We lived in Rockville, Maryland; Stamford, Conecticut. We visited 25 of the 50 US states. (How you count states is another story, which I have dealt with in a post.)
Which year did I first set foot in Singapore? 1993.
I became a Signapore Permanent Resident in 1999.
I joined Toastmasters International in the UK around 2005, the year my late father died. I recall a member of HOD Toastmasters coming to the funeral prayers.
We started an online travel diary in 1999 which lists every travel destination and trip.
Invitations To Meet Or Speak
The other important thing is to give a succinct story. When somebody asks: 'when will you be back?', you really want to know: 'Why are you asking?' "Are you making polite conversation, or planning to meet in future and tell me about events?'
If they want to invite you to a meeting on July 1st and you are leaving on June 30th, you can't accept. (They don't want to hear your entire life story, year's plans, reasons for travel. job history, spouse's change of job, children's school exams, parents health - and still no clue as to whether to speak to you and send an invitation!)
What they really want is your phone number or email. They want permission to put you on the mailing list and enquire which date in the year you are definitely in the coutnry to give a talk.
The way to appeal to an audience, according to many coaches and experts (and slides issued by Toastmasters International for talks) is to tell self-deprecating stories so the audience can feel superior, and feel and share your joy in overcoming difficulties.
The success may be due to:
1 Simply persisting until you get a lucky break - meet the right person or opportunity.
2 Persisting until you achieve the skills, pass the exams. This means not retreating at the first setback, and having a realistic idea of whether you might encounter setbacks yet still succeed.
Travel to multiple coutnries as an aim presents what at first sight is simply a collection. Add one new country a year and you are making progress. Along the way you might learn languages, find new foods, make friends, find a life partner, get offered a job, like a country and settle overseas.
To get a sense of progress, it helps to have a year by year list so you can see how your knowledge and travels have grown. You can keep many kinds of lists:
A map of the world.
A list of countries visited.
A list of words learned in other languages.
A list of successes such as:
ATTITUDE: diet; exercise; holidays; meditation; mindfulness; NLP; relaxation; stress-control; yoga.
BUSINESS / CONTACTS: Contacts in each country, each type of business. Purchases. Sales.
CERTIFICATES: Grouped in frames on a wall. Kept in a file.
FREEDOM: children left home for uni; debts or mortgage paid; use made of redundancy money; retirement.
IMPROVEMENTS: New home, job, possessions; even rearranged furniture.
LANGUAGES: Courses bought. Courses started. Courses finished. Words learned. Country visited.
NOVELTY:books read; create activites such as poems written.
SKILLS: business; ecourses; exams taken and passed;
SPORTS: First bungee jump, marathon, parachute jump.
SOCIAL: Friends from overseas - on Facebook.
TRAVEL; countries visited; foods tried; friends and contacts; recipes used; souvenirs.
Keep Medical Records
List everything. Try to memorise the dates. Keep dates handy where you can access them in a hurry.
Tetanus
When did you have a tetanus jab? I scraped my leg in Cyprus getting out of a car which stopped - then accelerated towards a parking place. The hospital wanted to give me a tetanus jab but needed to know when I last had one.
Chicken Pox and Shingles
A relative developed shingles. It is a kind of late onset revival of dormant chicken pox which you may have had as a child, many years later when you are elderly and low or stressed. Are other relatives liable to catch it? Less likely if they have had chicken pox. What did I have and when? Measles, mumps, rubella? Keep records with your passport and in your diary and on your computer.
Most of the younger generation have had a vaccination against chicken pox. You can ask for a vaccination if you have not had chicken pox vaccine earlier.
Doctors
You need your medical record for all sorts of reasons. When you apply to register for a new doctor in a foreign coutnry, they want your medical history.
When you go into hospital, walking into accident and emergency, or when admitted to a ward, they need to know your allergies.
Your family or colleagues fall ill - are you immune or have you had a vaccination?
Dentist
Visiting a dentist in Singapore, like in the USA, I had to list medications and allergies and give a long medical history.
I also needed a copy of my unviersity gradution certificate from University College, London. The year, the date, the original certificate - or oder a certified copy, at cost, and delay as it was available from the office only during university term time.
Job Applications
Applying for a job as a teacher in Singapore, I had to have a chest exray to prove I was free of TB and answer a whole list of questions.
Lists
What medicantion do you take (brand and generaic name) ............................ (strength / dosage) .........
Pharmacy address, hours, ........ tel .........................
Have you had chicken pox, measles, mumps, polio vaccine?
Genetic conditions, major illnesses or causes of death of grandparents or other ancestors, parents or siblings ..........................................................
Your vaccinations ..................................
Your home doctor name, address, tel .......................... ......................
Your passport number. ...............
Emergency number for ambulance in country you are visiting ...............................
Your travel insurance policy number ...................
Your travel insurance company name and phone number ...................................
You can find pharmacies, doctors and hospitals online and in hotel phone direcotries, or ask the hotel concierge, or look in the bedroom information folder. You can also ask the concierge of any hotel you pass, or the reception desk in an office building. The numbers of emergency services are often on the plaques at swimming pools and other places, or on notice boards and public vehicles.
Photograph numbers.
In the USA it may be cheaper to take a taxi than to call an ambulance if you have to pay for the private ambulance.
UK
In the UK ambulances are free but they will only come out for major emergencies such as road accidents unless called by a doctor.
You can phone the NHS emergency line in the UK. If the nurse thinks your condition is serious she will get a doctor to call you back.
While you are sitting waiting in a hospital wiating room, you might raise morale by thinking of all the successes in your life.
Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
I went to a Toastmasters International club meeting in Singapore where everybody around the table had to say their name and their greatest success or total success so far this year - or the success they hoped to achieve in the rest of the year.
Some people knew immediately what they had achieved (such as 'I passed such and such an exam'). I have been learning Portuguese, have given a workshop on writing your life story, and plan more workshops.
Several visitors gave vague answers. Some repeated what others said (such as I also plan to watch more films). Others paid repeated compliments to the hosts (my greatest success was coming here and meeting you!)
Raising Your Morale
I read in an article on curing depression and sad moments that you could energise yourself and keep up moreal and energy by creating a success book or a success wall.
Boasting and Introductions
Talking to yourself is not the same as talking about others. To boast of yourself, your spouse, your children or your grandchilden might annoy others, especially if their family is not equally successful.
Rags To Riches
But another speaker/trainer told us that if you spoke only of your past and current successes when introducing yourself as a speaker, you would alienate the audience. They would envy you and consider you boastful (or even a liar).
Chairperson's Introduction To You
The chairperson's job is to introduce the speaker in glowing terms. The speaker should appear modest and share secrets of certain success.
Achievable Success
What is certain success? 'You can do it' or 'a journey starts with a single step' is a great message for the timid person who is afraid to start a simple task.
Small Steps On The Ladder
However, another method is to break the task into simple steps and show somebody how to start and where to get free and easy help.
Typical Questions
What if you are in a conversation and greeted enthusiastically and asked lots of questions? I get asked these questions and you are likely to be asked something similar:
C - conversation starter for rapport.
FAQ ABC Frequently Asked Question - intended to get information for future action, business, commitment.
How long have you lived here (in this country)? C
Where do you live/stay? C
What do you do for a living? FAQ (Do I say, teacher, semi-retired, author, workshop leader?)
Which country do you come from? C (My answer is London, England. However, I am a Singaporean Permanent Resident.
How many languages do you speak? C (Fluent French - and learning other European languages such as Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and German.)
Do you speak fluent ....? C FAQ My child needs help with homework. Join our bilingual club. Our nearby school needs a foreign language teacher. Can you help me pronounce this word correctly ... (My answer is yes, if you pay me enough.)
Where did you learn to speak C French? (Grammar School A level.) FAQ - where can I learn to do it as well as you?
How long have you been married? (Too long!) C or FAQ meaning are you single, eligible, lonely, looking for a liaison?
Do you have children? C FAQ (Are you busy with family? Or free evenings and weekends to do a job or help me?)
When are you leaving? (I yo-yo between England and Singapore.) FAQ Our meeting is next week. Are you free?
When will you be back here? FAQ When can we meet? (If you want me to give a workshop, I'll be around in (month).
They all sound simple questions. Yet I and others struggle to answer them. If different members of the family give different answers, it sounds as if at best you are confused, at worst you could be lying. It helps to make a list and agree on which date you arrived in a foreign country (unless your and other members of the family arrived on different dates - in which case you need to be clear on which of you arrived which month and year.
Recording and Remembering Your Past
Firstly there's forgetting. Which year did I live in the USA?
1986. We lived in Rockville, Maryland; Stamford, Conecticut. We visited 25 of the 50 US states. (How you count states is another story, which I have dealt with in a post.)
Which year did I first set foot in Singapore? 1993.
I became a Signapore Permanent Resident in 1999.
I joined Toastmasters International in the UK around 2005, the year my late father died. I recall a member of HOD Toastmasters coming to the funeral prayers.
We started an online travel diary in 1999 which lists every travel destination and trip.
Invitations To Meet Or Speak
The other important thing is to give a succinct story. When somebody asks: 'when will you be back?', you really want to know: 'Why are you asking?' "Are you making polite conversation, or planning to meet in future and tell me about events?'
If they want to invite you to a meeting on July 1st and you are leaving on June 30th, you can't accept. (They don't want to hear your entire life story, year's plans, reasons for travel. job history, spouse's change of job, children's school exams, parents health - and still no clue as to whether to speak to you and send an invitation!)
What they really want is your phone number or email. They want permission to put you on the mailing list and enquire which date in the year you are definitely in the coutnry to give a talk.
The way to appeal to an audience, according to many coaches and experts (and slides issued by Toastmasters International for talks) is to tell self-deprecating stories so the audience can feel superior, and feel and share your joy in overcoming difficulties.
The success may be due to:
1 Simply persisting until you get a lucky break - meet the right person or opportunity.
2 Persisting until you achieve the skills, pass the exams. This means not retreating at the first setback, and having a realistic idea of whether you might encounter setbacks yet still succeed.
Travel to multiple coutnries as an aim presents what at first sight is simply a collection. Add one new country a year and you are making progress. Along the way you might learn languages, find new foods, make friends, find a life partner, get offered a job, like a country and settle overseas.
To get a sense of progress, it helps to have a year by year list so you can see how your knowledge and travels have grown. You can keep many kinds of lists:
A map of the world.
A list of countries visited.
A list of words learned in other languages.
A list of successes such as:
ATTITUDE: diet; exercise; holidays; meditation; mindfulness; NLP; relaxation; stress-control; yoga.
BUSINESS / CONTACTS: Contacts in each country, each type of business. Purchases. Sales.
CERTIFICATES: Grouped in frames on a wall. Kept in a file.
FREEDOM: children left home for uni; debts or mortgage paid; use made of redundancy money; retirement.
IMPROVEMENTS: New home, job, possessions; even rearranged furniture.
LANGUAGES: Courses bought. Courses started. Courses finished. Words learned. Country visited.
NOVELTY:books read; create activites such as poems written.
SKILLS: business; ecourses; exams taken and passed;
SPORTS: First bungee jump, marathon, parachute jump.
SOCIAL: Friends from overseas - on Facebook.
TRAVEL; countries visited; foods tried; friends and contacts; recipes used; souvenirs.
List everything. Try to memorise the dates. Keep dates handy where you can access them in a hurry.
Tetanus
When did you have a tetanus jab? I scraped my leg in Cyprus getting out of a car which stopped - then accelerated towards a parking place. The hospital wanted to give me a tetanus jab but needed to know when I last had one.
Chicken Pox and Shingles
A relative developed shingles. It is a kind of late onset revival of dormant chicken pox which you may have had as a child, many years later when you are elderly and low or stressed. Are other relatives liable to catch it? Less likely if they have had chicken pox. What did I have and when? Measles, mumps, rubella? Keep records with your passport and in your diary and on your computer.
Most of the younger generation have had a vaccination against chicken pox. You can ask for a vaccination if you have not had chicken pox vaccine earlier.
Doctors
You need your medical record for all sorts of reasons. When you apply to register for a new doctor in a foreign coutnry, they want your medical history.
When you go into hospital, walking into accident and emergency, or when admitted to a ward, they need to know your allergies.
Your family or colleagues fall ill - are you immune or have you had a vaccination?
Dentist
Visiting a dentist in Singapore, like in the USA, I had to list medications and allergies and give a long medical history.
I also needed a copy of my unviersity gradution certificate from University College, London. The year, the date, the original certificate - or oder a certified copy, at cost, and delay as it was available from the office only during university term time.
Job Applications
Applying for a job as a teacher in Singapore, I had to have a chest exray to prove I was free of TB and answer a whole list of questions.
Lists
What medicantion do you take (brand and generaic name) ............................ (strength / dosage) .........
Pharmacy address, hours, ........ tel .........................
Have you had chicken pox, measles, mumps, polio vaccine?
Genetic conditions, major illnesses or causes of death of grandparents or other ancestors, parents or siblings ..........................................................
Your vaccinations ..................................
Your home doctor name, address, tel .......................... ......................
Emergency number for ambulance in country you are visiting ...............................
Your travel insurance policy number ...................
Your travel insurance company name and phone number ...................................
You can find pharmacies, doctors and hospitals online and in hotel phone direcotries, or ask the hotel concierge, or look in the bedroom information folder. You can also ask the concierge of any hotel you pass, or the reception desk in an office building. The numbers of emergency services are often on the plaques at swimming pools and other places, or on notice boards and public vehicles.
Photograph numbers.
In the USA it may be cheaper to take a taxi than to call an ambulance if you have to pay for the private ambulance.
UK
In the UK ambulances are free but they will only come out for major emergencies such as road accidents unless called by a doctor.
You can phone the NHS emergency line in the UK. If the nurse thinks your condition is serious she will get a doctor to call you back.
While you are sitting waiting in a hospital wiating room, you might raise morale by thinking of all the successes in your life.
Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
Update
Books by Angela Lansbury
How to be the best man. (Ward Lock / Cassell.)
Wedding Speeches and Toasts.(Ward Lock / Cassell.)
Unforgettable British Weekends.
Poetry Workshop Workbook.
The Tailor and the Spy. (Lulu.)
Larry The Talking Labrador. (Lulu.)
Writing Poetry for fun.
Quick Quotations
Who Said What When
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