Problem
After our first attempt at cooking a frozen croissant was a failure, I thought about first trips to a new country or destination.
Cooking didn't work the first time? Never mind. It doesn't mean the product is faulty or you are an idiot. On the contrary, you are step one in the process. Remember Edison, who was asked whether he was depressed by so many failures. He reputedly replied, "I did not fail to find the answer 1000 times. I learned 999 ways not to do it."
If you want a reassurance and encouragement related to cooking and recipes, remember the advice often given, by professionals and amateurs alike: Never try something new for a dinner party. It is the same for professional theatre productions. Do a dress rehearsal.
Sometimes your first trip to a new country or destination is wonderful. Repeat visits don't compare. Why is this? It may be that you want an exact match. If the restaurants and hotels have changed, your memory matching is out of kilter.
Finding The Familiar
The first day in a new hotel, restaurant, even the toilet, is a challenge. Even an hour later, go to the toilet and you have your favourite cubicle, your prefered wash basin. Back to the restaurant and you have your familiar table, your preferred table. Your family or friends are by the window with the view, or in the secluded, private corner. You have the right chairs. Your known waiter.
Every day, your memory is further reinforced.
Righting Wrongs
You might have righted the wrongs on your first trip. You had a back room with no view, a noisy room. A day or two later, you changed to a sea view room. On your second trip, you have requested the sea view room and got it from the start.
On a return visit, you remember the people. Sometimes they remember you.
Holidaymakers often say that what made the trip was the people. Sometimes it's the friendly way they smile and greet you. They might smile at everybody, or more so at regular guests. (They know you like them, tip them, whatever. A familiar face is less stressful for them as well as less stressful for you. They know you are friendly.)
People, Places, Problems
A friend or familiar person is easier to approach when you have a problem. They are keener to help right wrongs. They know what you like. 'You want your usual table, sir?'
Preparation
In addition to the people righting wrongs, an enormous amount of preparation has gone on before you arrive. Somebody built the hotel. Somebody checked the toilet paper was replaced. Somebody cleaned the room.
Somebody planned the tour of the city. Somebody learned to speak English. Somebody filled your hire car with petrol. You are indebted to the kindness and efficiency and planning of dozens of people from the moment your plane takes off or the moment you set foot on the soil in another country.
Enjoying Novelty
If you have a different experience or are a different type, you may like new places. Going to the same place is boring. Going to a new country is always exciting. Novelty. Can't fail. Even the disasters are great. They distract you from problems at home. As the saying goes, a change is as good as a rest.
If you go on a business trip, then return to a country with your family later, you can use your first trip as a planning trip.
Holiday Planning
When our groups go on hiking holidays, the organizers do a planning holiday first. They check out the hotels, the restaurants, the prices, the hiking trails.
Learning From Mistakes
The first time you do anything, with a new place or new equipment you and your helpers will make mistakes. Motivational talks tell you every apparent mistake is a learning experience. First is research, then action (preparation), then the test or experiment - practical experience. You become 'streetwise'. Finally, you are experienced, an expert. You have a system for safety.
Novelty Seekers
You can introduce novelty and surprise (local differences for novelty seekers). You can repeat seeking novelty for yourself (I ask a tourist board, "Find me something like a local factory shop, or something newly opened, or bizarre!) You can show the novelty, or the familiar, to other newcomers.
Alternatively, you can supply the familiar. (A Japanese breakfast is welcomed by the Japanese. Chicken and chips pleases some Westerners).
If you treat every activity and trip as a dress rehearsal, you will be less stressed by not achieving 100 percent perfection the first time. Every trip is a learning experience. You are becoming an expert who can guide others and yourself.
Planning The Best Of Both Worlds
We take to Singapore things which are cheaper. Western items are cheaper when bought in England.
Others Western products are hard to find. For example, thick cut marmalade, tinned prunes in juice rather than sugary syrup.
Fulfiling Dream
Sometimes you go back to fulfil dreams. What do I dream of? Drinking almond milk in a lakeside restaurant in Siem Reap, the town near Ankor Wat, in Cambodia.
Planning
What have I learned? When checking in to a hotel, ask about the position of the hotel room. Which floor? Does a higher floor have a view? Is there a lift? Front or back room. Noisy road? Sea view?
If the sea view is dearer, how much dearer? Can you see it? (You might want to pay more, or move tomorrow - in which case don't unpack.
Overlooking what? The noisy road? Maybe you are so tired you don't care. Ask if they have any alternatives. Why would you want the room allocated? At the back is quieter! Getting it right - better
late than never.
Sometimes you remember the wonderful sights, and forget the snakes, cockroaches, ants, puddles. If so, that's the joy of travelling and a selective memory. It leaves you with happy memories. Above all, you are the editor of your own memories, and your own future travels.
If people look glum and cross when they hear I am going to Singapore, I reassure them: You wouldn't like it. Just drop a cake crumb and you get lines of ants.
But if they respond to hearing I am travelling with a happy smile, "How lovely for you! What do you lie about it?" I reply, "The palm trees, swimming every day, sunlight until six every day, all year."
Of course, enjoying Singapore requires planning. If you put off swimming until the afternoon, you are likely to get rain and no swimming that day. So now, if I can, I swim earlier in the day. I used to be disappointed when it rained in the afternoon. Now, I can anticipate. Each time I swim earlier in the day, I congratulate myself. Getting a swim in that day was not chance. It was planning. That's learning. I bet you know lots of things which I know. And we all, as they say, 'learn something new every day'.
Happy Travelling!
Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.
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