Writers Summer School - what I learned about seating in dining rooms

 The Writers' Summer School was originally set up to bring together writing circles from around Britain so they could share their knowledge and writing and books. It is still the case that some people from writing circles arrive in cars in pairs, or in groups.

The net result is that a newcomer is a loner. So is an old timer who is not part of a writing circle. (Mine in Harrow disbanded, after some people moved overseas, others went too professional to need other amateurs when they had publishers to give feedback. Others grew ill, retired, died.

In a large group at a table, the pairs or foursomes are people who already know each from back home. 

Pairs Of People

One pair is a mother and daughter. Another are father and son. Another pair is a husband and wife team. Two others work together. 

Two more are a same sex couple. The talkative one eventually tells me proudly that they are 'partners'. They were very nice and friendly. The larger, chatty, dominant one, instantly talked to me. But her thinner partner never took her eyes off the partner, never looked at me. So the large women was the pivot between us. 

On another occasion, I went up to join a woman who had been very friendly to me in the comedy group. But she was now with another person who she worked with. They were engrossed in the practical arrangements for their next event, another conference overseas, the hotels, travel arrangement. I was left out. For me, the end of that arrangement, what had seemed like a potential friendship.

I have been thinking about the etiquette of joining groups. It is better to select who you will sit with before entering the dining room. Even if it means jumping the queue for food in order to get served at the same time looking for a seat. 

An alternative is to sit in the same place, the same table, with the same people, every meal. But I like to change tables and meet new people. I sometimes walk through the dining room, glancing at each table, until somebody smiles welcomingly. I sit next to them.

Sometimes I sit alone. I look around at those walking in. If somebody stands, hesitating, looking at me, I smile and beckon.