Holidays From Hell - Stories For You To Tell in Traffic Jams

Problem
What do you do when you are stuck in a traffic jam or stranded on a plane runway for hours?

Answer
Tell stories of other holidays from hell.

Stories
My Travel Disaster Stories
Fire Alarms
In Scotland at the Achiltibuie hotel, a fire alarm went off in the middle of breakfast. We all had to abandon our buffet breakfast and go down the steps onto a terrace lawn. We could hear the fire engine blaring up the steep hill to the top of the hill where our huge hotel commanded a great view. The chefs were also evacuated, standing on the terrace in a group with their white hats. Also evacuated, a bride and groom - the bride in a long while - night-dress.

Flood
At Swanwick Writer's Holiday in Derbyshire, one year the site was flooded after heavy rain. The accommodation blocks were separate from the main blocks with classes and evening entertainment and the lounge and bar. Going back your feet were up to their ankles in muddy water and frogs were jumping about.

In Germany our car was broken into in Koln (Cologne).

Another car was broken into in Prague.

A third in the zoo car park in Madrid - after a group had mugged us in Marbella stealing my leather handbag and contents.

I was stuck in mid-air on a three person chairlift in a ski resort in the USA.

Worst of all, in Corsica I was on a bus which broke down on the way to the airport to go home. We were all closing the road from the broken down bus when a car came over the brow of the hill and knocked me down. 1984. I had multiple injuries including ribs broken in two places, a broken collar bone, a cracked shoulder blade, a head injury which left me bleeding from my ear, with everything spinning around more than 100 times when I tired to sit up. I ended up in a hospital in Corsica where they did not even speak French, my only other language, but Italian dialect. I tried talking to the woman in the next bed fro a day. She said nothing. Eventually I asked somebody to translate. He explained that she could not talk because she had had an operation on her jaw.

Theft
Singapore - my shoulder bag was stolen, containing a British passport, a Singapore citizens card, money, my new UK iPhone and my Singapore handphone.

Here are some fearsome photos from the internet in the Daily Mail online newspaper. My favourite is the frogs in the toilet. But that was after a flood.

Tips
If you like to convince the family or friends that your problems are not as bad as you thought, print out a copy of one of these photos, keep it concealed, then bring it out as a distraction. When your car breaks down, you can look at the picture of the elephant straddled across a mini car.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-4283256/Hair-raising-capture-travel-scenarios-gone-wrong.html

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.